


Take You Home

by baekilui



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, BaekYeol - Freeform, But also not, ChanBaek - Freeform, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Secret Identity, just soft okay, mafia, softyeol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-08 00:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 60,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21467383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baekilui/pseuds/baekilui
Summary: Baekhyun is far from perfect. His fate is to become a criminal, just like his father and his grandfather. But maybe in Chanyeol's eyes, he could be a hero, someone worth rooting for.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 202
Kudos: 261





	1. not my name

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAA my very first BaekYeol fanfiction! I'm so excited ;w; I loved writing this story a lot and I 100% won't abandon this one! I love my bebes ♥ I hope you all will love this as much as I love it, please show this story lots of affection and comments haha ♥ I take every bit of criticism if you want to help me get better at writing!
> 
> There are some violent scenes but I'll inform you before a chapter if you're sensitive. Probably won't contain real smut, but I'm gonna tag top!baek just because of principles. Plus it's kinda obvious in my opinion. Soft yeol ftw❤️👌🏻
> 
> Anyways, please enjoy!
> 
> HAH and there's my bro's seho spin-off!! Please read it as well it's such a good story and if you like this au, then you might as well read it uwu ♥
> 
> [**If I Had...**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/22216033) (19063 words) by [**No_Bark**](http://archiveofourown.org/users/No_Bark)  
Chapters: 7/12  
Fandom: [EXO (Band)](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/EXO%20\(Band\))  
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences  
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings  
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun  
Characters: Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Oh Sehun  
Additional Tags: Drama, Comfort/Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Oh Sehun  
Summary:
> 
> A Sad Fuck and an Edgelord.

"Mr. and Mrs. Lee, I understand your son is a little problematic, but this is the second time he's got into a fight with his classmates this week alone. If this happens again, I'm going to have to expel him for a short period of time," the principal scolds yet again in his office. He always furrows his eyebrows and massages his temples in frustration when lecturing the student. Baekhyun has seen this many times. Too many times. Sometimes he wonders how much the school actually cares if they can always let him go with a warning.

"We're so sorry. We'll talk some sense into our little Ben," the woman starts calmly, it's nothing unusual for her. Again and again the same pleads and the same whines. Baekhyun has heard them too many times.

Baekhyun looks around in the principal's office, which he has been visiting quite frequently. He leans so far back in his chair he's almost laying on it.

These two parents he's sitting with in the office are not his parents, but his fake parents. Although the resemblance is remarkable. His name also isn't Ben Lee, but Byun Baekhyun. Ben has been his name for over 7 years of his life, and these two have been acting as his parents ever since they came here in the United States of America. First in Texas, then in New York and now in New Hampshire.

Baekhyun was only 10 when they moved to this foreign country. He didn't understand anything back then. His father would just say  _ for your own safety _ after every command. Now that he's just turned 18 today, he knows too much but understands very little.

The principal nods to the parents. "You said the same the last time you were here. And the time before that. And before that." The man looks at Baekhyun with sad eyes, but the latter avoids his gaze like a sheep tries to avoid a pack of wolves. Poorly. "He should consult the school social worker. If she could be of help to Ben."

The name Ben rings in Baekhyun's ears. So familiar yet so foreign. A part of his identity, but also nothing that he is.

"We'll make sure he gets the rightful punishment and help he needs," the fake father says with his nose high up in the air. How the principal hasn't noticed that it's all an act is truly mesmerizing.

The adults keep talking for a while, mostly about money, since that seems to be the solution to everything, and then Baekhyun is free to go. He stomps outside, putting his earphones on. His fake parents take a separate ride since Baekhyun drives his own car.

Baekhyun gets into his black BMW and sits in front of the wheel for a while. He attends a public high school in Concord, even though his family sure had the money to put him into a private school. To Baekhyun, public school sounds easier, so he doesn't mind at all.

He puts the music up, and despite his appearance, Baekhyun loves listening to ballads and soft songs. Love songs, songs that he can sing to... Besides Fall Out Boy, his favorite band, of course. That's why he only listens to music on his earphones. He dresses like the typical bad boys in school, he has a black denim jacket he always wears everywhere and his hair is naturally brown. He has a ring on his lower lip and his ears are pierced. Five times. Someone with these looks wouldn't listen to the kind of music Baekhyun does.

Someone walks on the road near the parking lot, Baekhyun takes notice. It's a guy from his grade, that's all he knows. He has glasses on and black hair that falls on his eyes. He looks cute, Baekhyun tries not to think to himself, but fuck it. He's in love with the idea of falling in love with someone at first sight. But who would fall for an emotionless shell like him? He looks away as the boy turns around to look directly at his car like he had felt Baekhyun staring at him.

Baekhyun wonders to himself if, maybe, perhaps, that boy had a crush on him. He can only dream about such. But who would fall for a delinquent like him?

**

Baekhyun opens the door to what seems like a regular small house. He takes a few silent steps towards another door inside. 

"You weren't followed, were you?" Baekhyun hears someone ask from the dining area, cutting off his plan to sneak away. It is the boss himself that's sitting there on his throne, back facing Baekhyun. His bodyguards keep their heads low.

"No, Dad," Baekhyun replies rather annoyed. He accepts his fate and sits down at the table as well. "You always ask that, and no, nobody  _ ever  _ follows me." Even if he wanted someone to.

Baekhyun knows that his father would behead everyone in this mansion who talked to him the way Baekhyun does, but that's what they call Baekhyun privilege. That's the treatment you get for being the  _ mafia's son _ .

"You can never be sure.  _ Always look behind your back. _ " Baekhyun could recite the ending to his speech every time. It's always the same thing, telling him to be careful, just phrased differently. Usually, it's predictable from the first word he says.

Despite being the mafia boss, they live in a rather normal looking house. Normal on the inside and outside. But there's a secret door on the wall for the stairs that take to the basement. The bodyguards and all the men his father own sleep on the 1st basement floor. The 2nd basement floor is for… Business. Business his father swore to do never again. But who is a mafia to run away from his own mess?

Baekhyun sleeps on the first floor and so does his father. Against all odds, they feel the most comfortable sleeping on the surface rather than below.

Baekhyun sleeps in the same room as his personal bodyguard Mijun. He is Baekhyun's personal bodyguard, but also his best friend ever since they moved here from South Korea. Sure Mijun isn't like a real friend at times, but he's the only friend he has and is allowed to have.

"I heard from Beomi and Seokha that you were in trouble at school today. What for now?" His father rarely glances at him, he keeps his royal-like posture and elegance.

"Same old, same old. Lost my temper at this one kid… Then they told on me…"

"Oh, Baekhyun. Your temper is so bad. You are already 18 years old, you can't just go around punching people."

Baekhyun scoffs and crosses his arms.  _ For his own safety _ . He can hear that in his head, his father doesn't even have to say it. "Sorry. I'm just following my father's footsteps," he says with a smile that basically says fuck you. Because heaven knows Baekhyun doesn't want to be like his father. Who would want to be powerful and rich anyway? "I'm surprised you even remembered that it's my birthday today…" Baekhyun mutters to himself so quietly no one hears it.

The father looks at him and sighs. "That's the worst thing you could do." But the most likely ending. 

Baekhyun stays on his spot with his back all crouched down. He rubs his hands together nervously. Being with his father is always a bit alarming. He is a dangerous man, after all.

"What's for dinner? I'm starving!" he tries to speak to avoid the awkwardness. Having 4 silent and serious bodyguards around is definitely not helping. Even if it's what he's lived with his whole life.

His father looks around as if avoiding his eyes. "I'm sorry, Baekhyun, but unfortunately you have to eat out tonight. I'm getting a special delivery today and I don't want you to have anything to do with it."

Of course. Baekhyun sighs in defeat. For the mafia boss' son, Baekhyun doesn't have many responsibilities. His father wants to keep his identity as hidden as possible from every possible person. Sure he has taught Baekhyun a thing or two about being a part of the mafia, but he won't let Baekhyun participate in the business before his training is complete.

His father wouldn't risk it.

"Okay. I'll go with Mijun," Baekhyun sighs again. His father smiles sadly.

"Actually, Mijun needs to stay here."

"You're gonna let me go all by myself? Are you sure?" Baekhyun slams his palms on the table accidentally.

"Yes, I'm afraid I must. But you have to be home by 8, or I'll send Ryan after you."

Baekhyun stands up all thrilled, he can't keep in his excitement! He never gets to go out alone, and that's why he loves it so much. There's no one to judge him. "Okay, I'll get going then!"

He doesn't stay long enough to hear another beep from his father, he's already out the door and swinging his car keys in his hands. He can already imagine what he's going to do. He's going to eat at McDonald's, go to the movies and maybe hang out at the mall, all the stuff he's missed out on that everyone's always talking about.

Times like these he wishes he had a friend. But he'd rather go alone than with any of the guys in his household. He's sick of all the babying and protecting. He can protect himself. In fact, he has so much protection in him that he could even protect someone else! Or so he believes.

He puts the engine on in his car and puts his playlist on. Fall Out Boy this time. This time he doesn't put earphones on, he's too happy to care.

He arrives at McDonald's in five minutes, not even enough time to listen to two songs. He parks his car and opens the door with a smile on his face. Freedom. He locks the door and makes his way inside the shop.

*

Chanyeol is working today, like every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. He's a worker at McDonald's, not a very high-paying job, but he gets free meals every now and then if there are leftovers. Besides, anything is better than staying home with his parents, he's come to realize.

He puts on a big fake smile and a black apron over his large red t-shirt. His smile drops. He looks even lankier than he perceives himself as. He puts the smile back on and leaves the bathroom. He has to work hard for that extra cash. That's what his parents tell him, anyways.

"Hi, wel-," Chanyeol greets the customer by the counter, but as he sees the customer's face, his tongue gets all tangled and he feels the words getting stuck in his throat.

Of course, it has to be no other than the guy Chanyeol is crushing on. Kinda. He would never admit that to anyone, but there's something so thrilling about him. The sad part is, he doesn't even know this guy's name, all he knows is that they go to the same school and the guy's a junior too. They're in the same biology and math classes.

The guy before him runs a hand through his brown locks and stares at Chanyeol as if waiting for him to finish. Chanyeol has his mouth open and he feels like he's melting under this guy's gaze. He can't but stare back into his dark brown eyes and his cute nose and those lips and that piercing… He looks amazing. He's never seen this guy so up close, and now that he has, he's sure he has a crush on him. Even though he told himself otherwise today when he caught himself staring at him when he was leaving school. He told himself it was just the car he fancies, not the guy...

"You got that? Great," he then proceeds to throw the cash onto the counter and leave, but Chanyeol has no idea what the guy said. His face flushes as he realizes that he practically drooled and stared at him for a long time.

"Wait, sir!" Chanyeol panics. If his boss finds out, he's dead meat. The guy looks up with his eyebrows knit together.

"Sir? Did you just call me sir? Do I look that old to you?"

"No, of course not! We're probably the same age, but I didn't know what else to call you, so I-," Chanyeol looks at the ground and starts rambling. That's something he does a lot. Rambles.

"I'm Baekhyun," the guy says with a straight face. His eyes widen as he realizes.  _ Baekhyun _ . He's not allowed to reveal his real name like this. He tries to shake it off. It's not a big deal. His father probably won't rip his head off. At least if he doesn't find out.

"Okay, Baekhyun, I didn't get your order, I zoned off... Can you say it again?"

Baekhyun steps closer to the counter, leans on it and repeats his order. Chanyeol might explode from nervousness. Baekhyun is so close.

"Alright, Baekhyun, I'll bring your order in once it's ready." Chanyeol proceeds to go back to work, but Baekhyun keeps eyeing him from head to toe.

"Well ain't this a disappointment, you're not even gonna tell me your name, even after I told mine?" Baekhyun smiles, but only a little. Finally, he's out by himself and Mijun isn't there to talk for him. Baekhyun notices that it's actually quite fun talking to strangers.

"Oh… I uh, I'm Chanyeol," he mumbles out, trying to fish out the badge that says his name on it. Apparently, it's not on him, so he grunts.

"Huh. Well, thank you, Chanyeol. It's been pleasure doing business with you."

Baekhyun goes into one of the booths as he catches himself smiling. This day just keeps getting better and better. He keeps staring at that tall guy Chanyeol as much as he can, but he often disappears into the kitchen area. He also notices how Chanyeol keeps glancing at him and how every time their eyes meet, his ears turn red. He has adorable ears, Baekhyun can't deny that. He again tries to shake off the idea of having a crush. He's only in love with the idea of falling in love.

Yet he leans on his arm and keeps staring, for some reason. All of a sudden he notices something moving in the corner of his eye so he turns to look in the window. Baekhyun covers his hair and moves subtly. He runs straight to his car and drives away.

Chanyeol is done making the meal and is about to bring it to Baekhyun, but realizes that the boy has left. There's no Baekhyun in the area anymore. Chanyeol frowns, how disappointing. He even paid for his food, but now he's just gone. Chanyeol sits down on the stool before a register and looks at the counter in thought. Where was he in such a hurry to? Did he go to the bathroom?

The door is opened and Chanyeol quickly looks up with hope in his eyes - only for them to be crushed. He's really disappointed about something so little, that's how boring his life is.

"Hi, have you seen a boy named Benjamin around here? He's about your age, shorter than you..?" The new face says as he stomps closer. He has a big scar over his eye and blonde short hair that partially covers it.

Chanyeol squints his eyes, it sounds like Baekhyun, but the name is different. So he ends up shaking his head with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, mister, I haven't seen any Benjamins here."

The guy chuckles lightly and sighs afterward. "Thanks, anyway." With that he's off, looking around to see a glimpse of the missing boy.


	2. not hostile

Baekhyun slams the door to his house shut and takes in sharp breaths. He peeks through the window beside the door to make sure no one followed him.

"Baekhyun, what are you doing here so early?" He's immediately greeted by his father. He turns around quickly and starts flailing his arms around.

"Dad! Someone suspicious came after me! I don't know if he was really after me, but he looked like he was looking for someone, and it couldn't have been anyone else than me! I left before he noticed me." Baekhyun starts pacing around his father and explaining the situation in a rush of adrenaline.

"I know. It was a test. And you passed it. Now Ryan owes me..." He mutters the end under his breath.

Baekhyun stops and turns to his father. He blinks his eyes slowly. "A… Test? Really? Come on Dad, I paid for that meal!"

"Danger appears at the most annoying times." His father holds his posture like a royal.

Baekhyun sighs audibly. "Can I at least go back? I plan on finishing that meal."

His father laughs and it's the most horrible sound ever, Baekhyun is sure. Even if his laugh sounds the same. "No. Now come, Xiao Rou made dinner for us."

Baekhyun whines but follows his father into the dining area anyway. He's pissed, to say the least. He almost made a new cute friend and had some time on his own, but it all went down the drain just like that. He sits down on a seat harshly, grunting under his breath. His father sits at the end of the table and glances at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun squints his eyes and pictures a happy meal in front of him when Xiao Rou hands him the finest kind of meat there is. He mumbles thanks and they start eating in silence.

"Are you mad, Baekhyun?" His father asks all of a sudden after several minutes have passed in silence, and every servant and bodyguard looks away. As much as they all respect Mr. Byun, he's not the most intelligent when it comes to emotions, especially his son's.

"Mad? Me? Oh, of course not," Baekhyun starts as he presses his fork deep into the steak and takes a bite out of it aggressively. He glares at his father. Oh, how a happy meal would taste so much better than this expensive piece of meat.

"Don't lie to me, Baekhyun."

"I didn't. Saying I'm mad is an understatement. I am furious. For once in my entire life, you allowed me to go out by myself. And it's all just a lousy test?" Baekhyun swings his fork around as he raises his voice. He still has steak in his mouth but he doesn't care. Again, anyone else would be beheaded for such behavior.

"But… You passed the test."

Baekhyun looks up at the ceiling and tries not to faint from the anger. "I don't care. It's a stupid test. What does that have to do with me?"

His father shrugs. "Well, I was going to say that I think you've grown enough to go out by yourself. You know what to do in case of danger. But if you don't want to, that's fine."

Baekhyun's eyes fly open. "Really? By myself? No Mijun?"

"Yes. But only on Fridays! You shouldn't start hanging around with any weirdos either."

"You mean weirdos like us?" Baekhyun smiles.

"Maybe," his father replies with a smile.

Baekhyun is often like a rollercoaster, one minute he can be annoyed, the next he's all giddy and calm. Pull the wrong string and you might wind up dead.

*

Chanyeol keeps falling into his thoughts every now and then. Well, every now and then is an understatement. He can't focus on anything except his racing thoughts.

The thoughts about his crush. He's never liked anyone like this. Sure he's had crushes before, once even on his sister's boyfriend. But he was younger back then and those weren't  _ really  _ crushes compared to this. Seeing him makes him all red and sweaty, he feels like a slippery tomato every time they pass each other in the hall. He even wrote his name on the side of his Spanish notebook. In hangul, of course. He doesn't want anyone to know, and no one in his Spanish class probably knows Korean. It's so embarrassing he immediately erased it.

Chanyeol doesn't understand Korean. He can read it, he can pronounce it, like his own name, but he can't understand it.

Right now he's sitting in Biology class and staring at Baekhyun ever so intently. Baekhyun's hair looks soft and his face is all clear, unlike many students' in this class.

Sometimes Baekhyun looks behind himself to see Chanyeol staring at him, but then Chanyeol quickly looks away. It's been a week since they last talked to each other, but Chanyeol is too much of a wuss to approach him, and Baekhyun is either very oblivious or he's ignoring Chanyeol's existence.

The bell rings and everyone's in a rush to leave the class, biology isn't a favorite amongst his classmates. Chanyeol leaves after Baekhyun, to get a chance to be near him. That sounds a bit pathetic, but he is. Baekhyun is half a head shorter than him, and he smells like some expensive cologne.

All of a sudden Baekhyun turns around at the door and looks at Chanyeol who gets startled. His eyes grow as big as plates as Baekhyun stares into his eyes.

"Did you just sniff my hair?"

Chanyeol turns red from head to toes and he starts rambling again. "No! I swear I didn't!

"I'm just messing with you," Baekhyun chuckles and turns around, signaling Chanyeol to follow him. What else could Chanyeol do? Run away?

Running away doesn't seem so half-assed actually. When Baekhyun turns his back on Chanyeol, the giant runs as fast as he can, as far as his legs take him.

Baekhyun stops walking and turns around to see no one there. He was going to lead Chanyeol to his locker and talk to him, but he's not there anymore. He looks around and sees a whim of the black-haired boy running behind a corner.

Baekhyun walks casually to that corner and sees Chanyeol leaning on the wall. He pants heavily, not noticing the shorter one standing right next to him.

"Did you just run away from me?" Baekhyun asks, and this makes Chanyeol jump, of course. "What the fuck, Chanyeol?"

Chanyeol stares at him with his head all red and mouth hanging open. "Uh… Sorry. Please don't beat me up," he starts and quickly covers his head.

The smaller boy raises his eyebrows so high his eyes start watering. "Beat you up? I'm not gonna beat you up, Chanyeol."

"You're… Not?" He dares to ease up and look at Baekhyun. That sentence made him a lot less tense. "That's not what you meant by following you?"

"What? No! I'm not hostile, jeez." Baekhyun leans on the wall opposite Chanyeol. It's a small corridor they're talking in. The hallway leads to an abandoned bathroom. The principal has ordered every student to stay out of there since it's out of order. Baekhyun is quite sure that's where the bullies take their victims and beat the shit out of them. Or couples go have sex. But only 99% sure.

"Oh, sorry. This has never happened before. What did you want to talk about?" Chanyeol asks. He seems cool and like everything's under control, but deep inside he wants to die. Out of embarrassment and Baekhyun is still really hot.

Baekhyun looks at him and crosses his arms. "I didn't know you're afraid of me." Chanyeol can detect sadness in his tone.

"I'm not! I'm really not," the giant tries to deny the accusations but once he doesn't get any response, he starts doubting his answer. "Unless I should be. Do you want me to be afraid of you?"

Baekhyun looks up and shakes his head rapidly. "Of course not. I was just gonna give you my number and I thought, like, maybe we should-," Baekhyun starts all confident but his words start fading out towards the end once he sees the look on Chanyeol's face. "Hey! What's with that smile? You're creeping me out."

Who knew Chanyeol had the dumbest smile on his face while Baekhyun tried to ask him the ever-dreaded question.

"Sorry!" He immediately yells and puts a hand over his mouth. Then he tries to mumble something into his hand, but that's of course inaudible.

"Yeah, so, I just thought it'd be nice to hang out sometime," Baekhyun finally lets out, but he doesn't dare to look at Chanyeol anymore. His face starts heating up all of a sudden.

"I'd like that," Chanyeol manages to say almost normally, with a bright smile that doesn't creep out anyone. Baekhyun dares to smile back at him, even though he can feel how warm his cheeks are.

"I'm sorry I fled the scene last Tuesday, I forgot something important so I had to run."

Chanyeol sighs. "That's fine. I get that. But you did pay for that meal, though. So technically we owe you one."

"Did you eat it?" Baekhyun asks, disregarding Chanyeol's words. He smiles but Chanyeol looks bothered.

"I did. I'm sorry, I couldn't let it spoil, it was a quiet night."

"Good. Then you don't owe me anything, consider it a gift, I bought you a meal," Baekhyun says confidently. He stares at Chanyeol's feet, he has some Converse on and he keeps tapping his feet on the ground consistently. Like keeping up a beat. Baekhyun slides onto the same side as Chanyeol, to lean on the same wall. "Like we were on a date and I paid for your dinner. Except that… I wasn't there."

Chanyeol feels butterflies in his stomach. A date. Without Baekhyun. He's funny. "We should do that more."

Baekhyun's face is only a few inches away from Chanyeol's when he looks up to meet his eyes. He's totally invading his personal space. "Sure. With me this time?"

Chanyeol looks up and hums as if he was thinking hard about this question. "Okay, fine, you and your wallet are both invited."

Baekhyun chuckles as he pulls out a small note with his phone number on it. "Can't wait." He hands the paper to Chanyeol with a smile before leaving. Chanyeol looks at the paper elated. There's nothing but a few numbers on it, yet he feels as if he's in heaven.

He sighs dreamily and puts the note in his pocket. Baekhyun is totally not hostile, he noticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes, baekyeol is progressing owo hope u enjoyed this little chappy ^^ i have my major doubts about this fic so it would mean the world to me if you expressed your honest opinions-- ehehhe ♥


	3. no reply

Baekhyun lays on his stomach on his bed. He's staring at his screen intently. Why hasn't he messaged him yet? Why hasn't he called? Why is he not giving any sign of existence to Baekhyun??

Normally he wouldn't be so paranoid and occupied over a small thing like this. But he doesn't know what's a normal amount to wait. He knows nothing of this kind. He can't ask anyone, either. If his father finds out, he'll throw his phone away and make him change schools. Baekhyun doesn't want that. That means no Chanyeol, ever again.

Baekhyun always seems so cool and collected, but the more he thinks about Chanyeol, the more uneasy he gets. The more he starts to overthink. What if he misread the whole situation? What if Chanyeol was actually scared of him and doesn't want to see him? Was he being too pushy? He tries to shake off the thoughts as they circle in loops, repeating themselves and getting worse with every lap.

With Chanyeol, he's a whole different person. And he's not sure if that's a bad thing or not. The thought of experiencing something straight from a Korean drama makes him excited, but when things don't go the way he thought, he starts panicking. Yet it's that thought of having a completely different life that thrills him, it's what keeps him sane and a little bit forgiving if things don't go according to plan. Maybe this Chanyeol guy will grant Baekhyun the future he's always dreamed of.

A future where he has someone to love.

Just as he's drooling on his pillow from even thinking about falling in love, his phone vibrates. He quickly awakens from his daydreams and unlocks the screen to see a message from an unknown number.

_ Heyy, this is Chanyeol :), _ the text says. So simple, yet it manages to make Baekhyun smile so wide he can barely see the screen anymore.

He tries to reply but ends up writing the same phrase over and over again, deleting every syllable after typing it in. He was so calm around Chanyeol, it's like he didn't even have time to think, he just went for it. But now he's a nervous wreck and he has no idea what to say. 

He ends up sending a simple hey with a few extra y's. Then he throws his phone on his pillow and sits up frustrated.

Mijun is not in the room right now. Baekhyun didn't think about how he's going to keep this a secret from his bodyguard. They share the room together, Mijun's bed is just across the room. He has a lot less space since he mainly just sleeps there. To keep Baekhyun safe, as the father would say.

Heck, safe or not, it does make him uncomfortable. It's like he can't have a minute to himself, there's always someone in the room with him. He's used to it, but as he's gotten older and the need for independence gets stronger every day, it has only gotten more awkward between the two of them.

If Mijun ever asked Baekhyun what is he typing and smiling on his phone, what would be his answer? Mijun isn't stupid enough to not notice or understand from his facial expressions what's going on. Baekhyun has to control his emotions or look away from Mijun. The latter idea sounds easier for him since a simple text with a smiley makes him smile uncontrollably.

He could just turn his back at him. But then there's the risk of Mijun sneaking up on him and reading his texts behind his shoulder. He doesn't want that either.

Baekhyun has already jumped into conclusions that this is his life now. Texting Chanyeol nonstop and hiding it from everyone. They've only sent one message each and Baekhyun is practically choosing between lilies and roses for their wedding. Roses, he would definitely pick roses.

Speaking of messages, Chanyeol hasn't replied anything to his hey. Well, this conversation died out soon. Too soon. Baekhyun quickly grabs his phone and starts typing.

_ Wanna meet tomorrow? _

Then he pressed send before he could think too much about it and waits for a reply. For approximately an eternity. Several minutes pass before he accepts the fact that Chanyeol isn't going to reply anytime soon and staring at the screen won't make the message appear on his screen any sooner. 

He hugs his knees and sighs deeply. Maybe Chanyeol is going to chicken out, just like earlier this day. He did run away when Baekhyun was just going to talk to him.

Before he gets to overthink the situation more, the door opens and he quickly locks his phone. He looks up to see Mijun, nodding to the one on the bed.

"Your father wants to see you," he says under his breath. He seems extra serious. All the possible scenarios run through his mind all at once, impossible to grasp on to any of them.

Baekhyun tries to shake it off. Maybe it's nothing. "Fine, I'll go. No need to be that serious," he tries to make light of it, but Mijun won't budge. He even avoids eye contact. Seems like something is really wrong. Or he's been told to act that way, wouldn't be the first time.

He quietly follows Mijun into the basement. Baekhyun's heart starts racing. His father rarely asks him to go there with him, only when it's time for his lessons. Who knows, maybe he's increasing the amount of training on him now that he's technically an adult.

They walk down the stairs deeper under the ground, past the living area into the 2nd-floor basement. It's quite dark and the horrible smell suddenly hits his nose. It smells like someone's been rotting in the area for a week at least. Most likely they're still alive if that's the case.

Mijun stops Baekhyun before they enter the area where the horrible smell is coming from. Then he whispers: "Your dad is in there. He wants you to go alone."

"What? Why?" He asks rather in a loud voice, making Mijun shush at him.

"Just go. He is waiting."

Baekhyun gulps. He can't but go into one of his father's "tests" again. The worst part about these tests is that these are actual threats. If Baekhyun acts dumb, he's going to get hurt. Not killed, his father has always been careful enough with that.

One time, when Baekhyun was 10, his father put out a test for him, where he had to say no to temptations. Baekhyun did not, and as a result, he got a very bad stomach ache. He was offered ice cream, but little did he know, the ice cream contained lactose, which Baekhyun's body can't process. It was a harmless test mostly, but he has not eaten ice cream since.

He slides the door open slowly. The smell hits him even harder and he's having a hard time breathing. But he sees his father standing in the center of the room, staring at a wall.

Well, most likely staring at the man hanging on the wall. He's chained from his ankles and wrists, he looks like he's been beaten up quite badly. He spits out blood on the concrete floor. Wow, he does not feel bad for the ones cleaning this room.

Baekhyun steps next to his father. His heart starts beating rapidly, but he knows better than to let it show on his face or actions.

"We found this man following you when you were out alone," the father starts, keeping his eyes locked on the guy. He's blindfolded, hair sticking to his forehead from sweating so much.

Baekhyun takes a step back. "Seriously? After me?! Why am I here then?" His voice is louder than he meant it to be. He starts shaking from nervousness, sweating all of a sudden. He's never thought he was in actual danger.

His father has his arms crossed as he turns to look at his son in the eyes. "It's up to you. Shall we kill him or let him free?"

"I don't know! Just do whatever!" He yells again, flailing his arms around. He doesn't want to be responsible for another person's death. He tries to signal to his dad with his eyes that he doesn't want to be here. His father leaves his silent pleas ignored.

"Please!" The man on the wall suddenly yells, leaning forward as much as a chained up man can. "Let me live! If you… If you let me live, I'll never bother you again!" He breathes heavily. This makes Baekhyun uncomfortable.

"I'll give you half an hour," Mr. Byun says and turns away, making Baekhyun panic. He's not going to be alone with this chained up man in this boxy room, hell no.

"Just kill him! Or let him free! I don't care!" He suddenly yells back to his father when he's about to leave. His father looks unimpressed.

"No. You have to think about this."

Baekhyun huffs and tries to control his breathing, it's only a test, he's gone through numerous of tests before, this won't be any different.

"Half an hour. Then I'll be back." With that, his father leaves the room.

As much as he tries to calm himself down, he can't but be extremely bitter about his life. Baekhyun never wanted anything to do with his father's business. Baekhyun doesn't want to be a criminal like his father. He doesn't want to get a man killed just because he says so.

"Please! Please don't kill me! I'll do anything you ask, please... just... don't…" The man sobs loudly, blood dripping from his wrists he's hanging on.

Baekhyun rubs his eyes and grunts. His father won't let him live if he doesn't do this.

"Why are you after me?" He starts interrogating. The man looks so pathetic, he just wants to let him go.

"I-I.. My boss… Hired me to… Hunt you down…"

"Why? Who's your boss?"

The prisoner stays quiet. Baekhyun grunts louder.

"Look, if you wanna stay alive, you gotta tell me." He keeps his eyes on the man, he has weird tattoos all over his body, he could be a member of a gang.

This makes the man spike up a little. "He… He's… our leader. Nobody knows him. He just told me to look for a young boy with black hair!" People do a whole lot for money. 

Baekhyun smirks and looks away. This man was not after him. Baekhyun has brown hair, not black.

"Who were you really after?" the boy asks. The man shakes his head and it makes his sweaty brown strands of hair bounce from side to side.

"You!" His breath hitches.

"And who am I?"

The man stays quiet.

"You don't know." Usually, people who are after him at least know who he is. He feels kind of betrayed actually. Is he not as famous as he thought he is? That means… the world isn't as dangeroud as his father has always said it is?

"Of course I don't know! I was just told to look for you!"

"So, your boss, who you don't even know, just told you to look for a young boy with black hair? Don't you think that's kind of a… Vague clue. What else did he tell you?"

"...Not much. Where you live. Where I could see you."

"And that was?"

"McDonald's..."

Baekhyun squints his eyes. He was definitely not looking for Baekhyun.

"Please… Just… Let me live! I have a wife and two kids waiting for me to get home."

Baekhyun's heart aches for the man. No matter who he was after, it's not his problem. If he even was after anyone, maybe this is all just a play put together by his father. It wouldn't be the first time.

"You have… Family?"

"Yes! My daughters, Mary and Lisa, sweet angels. I don't want them to grow up without me..."

Baekhyun smiles. How could he ever kill this man, now that he knows he has daughters? "I'll let you go. On one condition. Leave, and never  _ ever _ come back. You hear me?"

"Yes! Yes, thank you! Thank you so much! I'll leave this country altogether! You will never hear from me again!" He smiles and it seems that he's missing a front tooth. He looks kind of funny when smiling.

Half an hour probably hasn't passed yet, but Baekhyun is done, so he leaves the room and is greeted by a surprised father.

"Just let the man go. He wasn't after me. Although I would get more information about his boss…" 

"Very well, Baekhyun. You passed another test," he starts, but Baekhyun immediately rolls his eyes at that. He guessed it.

"So this guy has nothing to do with me?"

"Actually Richard found him in the parking lot, looking very very suspicious. We don't know much of him, so we will keep interrogating, after that, we'll let him go like you said," the father explains, then looks down and whispers: "if he makes it out alive." 

Baekhyun doesn't hear this and just keeps walking up the stairs. He feels light, but also a bit weird. It's almost as if he did a good thing. But only almost. Who knows what kind of a monster he let out into the world.

**

Chanyeol keeps pacing in his room. His mother keeps yelling for him from downstairs, switching between Korean and English.

"I'm coming! Jeesh," he grunts. He keeps looking at his phone under his brows. Baekhyun just asked if he wants to meet him tomorrow.  **Tomorrow** . He wants to say yes, but he's also terrified of the idea.

What are they going to do? Where are they going to go?

"Park Chanyeol! Will you come already? We don't have all day," the mother barges in.

"What's the hurry? We still have plenty of time!"

"We don't want to be late for your aunt's birthday party!"

"Who even throws parties on Thursdays…" He mutters under his breath and glances at his phone one more time. He doesn't even want to think about how he has to spend the evening with his annoying cousin Junmyeon. "I still have to feed Toby and Beets."

The mother gets extremely frustrated and slams the door behind her. "Feed the damn ferret and goldfish! But be quick!" She yells so loud it's like she's still in the room.

Chanyeol quickly picks up his phone and types  _ Sure! Where? _ on the screen to send to Baekhyun. Then he glances at his ferret Toby in his cage and pouts.

"Too enthusiastic?" He asks from Toby and the ferret tilts his head. "No? What do you think, Beets?" His goldfish, Beets, swims around in his bowl happily. "I'm gonna take that as a yes. Okay. I'll send it anyway." He presses the send button and tries not to panic.

Then he's out with his mother, his phone left on his bed. He doesn't want to see that phone ever again. But he's also extremely anxious to know. He's anxious to meet Baekhyun again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAGH unrelated but obsession is sosososo good???
> 
> butttt ! hope you like this chappy !! i don't have much to say uguhugfdu SMOOCH YOU ALL


	4. not running away

It is once again Friday. The greatest day of all, the only day of the week when Baekhyun doesn't have to stay in that hell hole also known as his home. But this particular Friday evening is the best of them all.

Because this Friday, he's going to meet Chanyeol.

He isn't obligated to tell his father where he is going or what he is doing. He just has to tell him when and when he will be back. 

And so he set out to meet Chanyeol in this park not that far away from home. Risky? Maybe. But Baekhyun is more worried about his appearance than anything else right now. Is his hair messy? Breath stinky? Clothes wrinkly? Face dirty? Those are the important questions right now. Everything else is irrelevant.

He checks himself out one last time in the rear mirror and runs a hand through his hair and sighs, it's never gonna look good no matter what he did. He lets it slide and leaves his car in the parking lot just near the park. His heart is racing in a familiar way, but there's also another hint to his nervousness he has never felt before, or maybe a few times when waiting for Chanyeol's replies. His palms are getting just a teeny tiny sweaty as his thoughts keep racing.

But he keeps walking, the ground turns to sand as he gets near the swings and the jungle gym. He sees Chanyeol sitting on a swing, crouched up and pushing himself forward slightly with his feet. He pushes back his thin glasses as he looks up to see Baekhyun walking towards him.

"Hi," the taller one chirps with a smile. He straightens his back quickly.

"Hi," Baekhyun says back. He can't but notice how good Chanyeol looks with glasses. Makes him look real smart. "I didn't know you wear glasses."

"I normally wear contact lenses," he explains and gets visibly tense when Baekhyun sits on the other swing next to him. The metal chains squeak as they swing their seats calmly.

"That explains."

"Look, I gotta ask you," Chanyeol starts all serious, looking at Baekhyun in the eyes, "Why do teachers call you Ben, when you've told me your name is Baekhyun?"

Baekhyun looks up at the sky. "My real name is Baekhyun. Ben is just my English name. I use it more in public because Baekhyun is such a hard name to pronounce." A little white lie has never hurt anyone, right?

"Oh. I guess that kind of makes sense. But people still call me Chanyeol and they manage just fine. Although I do have to correct them a lot… Can you speak Korean?" Chanyeol's eyes sparkle and as he stares at Baekhyun like that, the latter feels weird. In a good way. In a way that he never wants Chanyeol to look away. Just stay like this forever.

"Yeah, I've lived in South Korea most of my life. Can't you hear it from my accent?" Baekhyun manages to joke around.

"I don't think you have a bad accent. Or maybe I'm just so used to my mom's accent. Compared to her, you've got nothing to worry about."

"Have you lived here all your life?"

"Yep... My parents immigrated here before I was born. My sister was two years old back then." Chanyeol finally looks away in thought, making Baekhyun visibly frown. That's new. "But I can't speak Korean. I can pronounce it somehow and I can write in Hangul, but that's it."

"Why not? Did your parents just decide to switch to English?"

"Yeah. Apparently being bilingual would make us sound dumb. My mom thought learning two languages would take up too much of our energy to distinguish the difference between the two languages. Which is scientifically proven to be false."

Baekhyun stares at Chanyeol and he can't help but get lost in his eyes every single time he glances at him. He even sounds smart when using such big words. "Oh really? How?"

"Well, mastering two or more languages no matter when in your life, will give your brain some advantages," Chanyeol says and once again pushes his glasses back with his index finger, "such as higher density of the grey matter that contains most of your brain's' neurons and synapses. And overall learning two languages from your very first years of living will strengthen your dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, which makes you better in problem-solving and focusing."

Baekhyun stares at the genius in sight with his mouth slightly open. He's not sure he understood any of that dorso-thing. "So… How does this affect me?"

"More grey matter is linked to intelligence. A study once showed that people with higher IQs had more grey matter. More neurons equal more connections inside the brain."

"I'm not so sure about that."

Chanyeol chuckles. "Well, then at least learning languages delays diseases such as Alzheimer's and dementia by as much as 5 years. If that makes you feel better."

Baekhyun stays quiet for a while. For a long while. They can only hear the wind bending the trees and the swing squeaking above them.

"Did… Did I speak too much? I scared you, didn't I?" Chanyeol starts panicking.

"No! You didn't. I'm just… Amazed by how smart you are…" Baekhyun corrects, his voice is breathy. He can see Chanyeol's cheeks turn visibly pink.

"Th-thanks?" He looks away flustered. "But remembering stuff doesn't necessarily make me smart. Just… Book smart. I bet you're a different type of intelligent, if not school-wise. I could go on about the different types of intelligence, but I think I've rambled enough."

Baekhyun chuckles and they manage to maintain eye contact for a while. Then Baekhyun's face flushes as well. No one has ever thought about him being even remotely intelligent.

"Sure, I'd love to hear more praise. But right now I've got too much to process here with the Alzheimer's and all." He scrunches his nose at that sentence, he tries to shake it off and focus on Chanyeol. "You seem like you study a lot. Anything else you do?"

Chanyeol sighs deeply. "Not really. I work at McDonald's."

"Oh. Isn't that… Kind of… Boring?" Baekhyun tries to say without sounding like a complete asshole.

"Sure it is. I would love to play some instruments, like the guitar, or piano. But mom won't let me."

"Why?"

"She wants me to study. Making music apparently won't help me with math equations. What about you?"

Baekhyun nods. He knows far too well how it feels like when your parent doesn't let you do something. That irritates him beyond no end. "Oh. You know, I don't do much either. I uhh…" He tries to think of things about himself that have nothing to do with the on-going mafia in his house. He might not want to scare Chanyeol away like that. "I practice boxing. So I will kick some ass if I have to." And he has. But that he won't tell Chanyeol.

"Oh yeah, you got that one jock beat up real bad." There went his plan, down the drain.

"How do you know about that?" Baekhyun squints his eyes. Not many people pay attention to Baekhyun and the ones who do usually end up getting beat up. In secret of course.

"D-doesn't e-everyone know about it?" He stutters.

"No. He was the only jock I've ever beaten up and he made up a lie that it was his step-father when he was drunk. That's how he got his mom to divorce him."

"Really? That's kind of harsh. Did you do him a favor or what?"

"No, he was just being an ass but played his cards well. But how do you know about it? Who else knows?"

"I-I… I saw you two. That's how I know. But no one else does! I swear!"

Baekhyun calms down as he sees the terrified expression on Chanyeol's face when leaning further away from Baekhyun. Something in his stomach twists.

"I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound that serious. It's just that if I get involved in one more fight, I'll be expelled. My dad would be so mad," he tries to explain but he feels guilty. Chanyeol is probably terrified of him now.

They stay quiet for a while, letting the wind mess with their hair, much to Baekhyun's disliking. He just tried to fix it. Then Chanyeol breaks the silence. "As long as the people you beat up are bad, I'm fine with it."

Baekhyun looks up with furrowed brows. "What?"

"That jock is a prick. You know how many times he's stolen my lunch money? You served him right."

Baekhyun looks at him with raised eyebrows. He did not expect that. Then he starts laughing in relief.

"What? It's not funny! He's stolen hundreds from me!"

Baekhyun catches his breath. "Yeah, he's a complete idiot. If he ever bothers you again, I'll gladly get expelled for kicking his ass." The smile on his face grows the more he thinks about it. He doesn't enjoy punching people or causing harm, but some people just deserve a high five in the face.

"Ah, my knight in..." Chanyeol stops and looks at Baekhyun's clothes. "Plain denim." Then he smiles at Baekhyun in a way that makes Baekhyun's heart race in that weird new way again. Chanyeol has the best smile. He should never not smile.

But suddenly Baekhyun stops everything and focuses on the grass being stepped on farther from them. Chanyeol doesn’t hear anything, just keeps his eyes on the knight in plain denim. The sudden change in his mood is upsetting.

"What's wrong?" He asks but Baekhyun quickly shushes him. Then he looks around silently.

Baekhyun grabs Chanyeol's hands and starts leading him away from the park in silence. Chanyeol is, of course, shocked but he doesn't fight against it. He also knows better than to ask.

Baekhyun can't think about how holding Chanyeol's hand makes his heart race, no, but he's occupied by the thought  _ 'we're being followed.'  _ That alone makes his heart race rapidly.

He leads Chanyeol to his car and opens the door for him. Chanyeol looks confused but does as Baekhyun advises. Maybe Chanyeol is too naive, but he doesn't see a reason not to trust Baekhyun. He could murder him for all he knows.

Then Baekhyun takes a seat on the driver's side.

"Where are we going?" Chanyeol asks as if this was a normal procedure. He looks around himself to see how new and shiny the car is. The seats are black, the steering wheel is brown. Nothing looks worn out. Chanyeol has never set foot in an expensive, new car. Not until now.

Baekhyun starts the engine and grips on the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turn white. "I'm taking you home."

"Why? You know, I live like two miles from here, I could walk."

Baekhyun tries to calm himself down, but these kinds of situations make him stressed. He could handle himself, but having Chanyeol next to him makes him even more stressed. What if something happened to Chanyeol? He can't protect him from the millions of people that are out to get him.

"I see. You're really weird, you know that?"

"What do you mean?" Baekhyun asks in all seriousness, now calming down a little. He keeps glancing at the mirrors but he doesn't see anything. He decides to drive around a few blocks and then Chanyeol gives him his address.

"Are you running away from something? Possibly from… Someone?"

"No. Why would you think that?" Baekhyun doesn't sound all that convincing.

"I think I've seen enough films to know that you are. You were quiet, determined and a little panicked. Then you dragged me here and won't tell me why we are leaving. What are we running away from?" Chanyeol has sympathy in his voice as he tries to reach for Baekhyun, but Baekhyun just sighs and keeps his eyes on the road.

"...Nothing. You just... Can never be too sure." Baekhyun doesn't even spare a glance at him. But he can feel the piercing eyes on him.

"Don't you trust me?"

"I… I… think I do." Baekhyun doesn't trust anyone. But this raven-haired boy seems quite trustworthy.

"Then what are you hiding from me?"

Baekhyun sees this as an opportunity to joke around and make the situation lighter. "Lots of things. Gotta keep some mysteries, otherwise, there's nothing to look forward to next Friday."

"We're meeting next Friday?" Chanyeol asks with a glimpse of hope in his eyes. Although Baekhyun has been quite on edge the whole evening, he's still Chanyeol's long-time crush. There are a lot of mysteries in him he wants to solve. It's a shame he's not so easy to crack.

"I was thinking about… Seeing you every Friday?" This time Baekhyun turns his head to see Chanyeol with an adorable smile. It brings a smile on his face as well.

Baekhyun pulls up on Chanyeol's driveway.

"Hmm. I'll have to think about it," Chanyeol says as if he's not going to say yes immediately.

"You'll text me, right?" Baekhyun asks with the widest of a smile he could possibly have, even with the loud voice in his head screaming at him to be cautious, someone could be there right behind him. Chanyeol covers all of it.

"You'll just have to wait and see," Chanyeol says with a wink as he leaves the car. Chanyeol, too, can leave some things to Baekhyun's imagination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhh i'm a bit late and in a hurry, hope this still satifies your needs uuwuu


	5. not scared

Baekhyun has been quite busy lately. With practicing boxing and other self-defense practices. At home of course. His father has been stressing him about learning more self-defense since letting him go out by himself. Usually, the teen wouldn't care so much, but he can't sleep because of the horrible thought: what if something had happened to Chanyeol? What if he can't protect him?

And the more he spends time with Chanyeol, the more he understands that his father has been right all along, he has to be more alert. As much as he wants to deny it, his father is almost always right.

Even though the best way to keep them both safe would be to stay as far away from Chanyeol as possible. But Baekhyun has been texting the cute giant nonstop, and whenever he looks at his phone and sees that Chanyeol has sent him something, his heart starts racing and a wide smile creeps up his face. He just can't help it. For that, he's willing to take the risk.

This is already the second Friday he's meeting up with Chanyeol and although he couldn't be more excited, he's also extremely anxious.

They made plans to go to the movies, Chanyeol suggested it. Baekhyun doesn't like the movie theatre, it's dark, people can sit behind his back, it's loud. He can't be so alert. But he'll try because Chanyeol seemed so enthusiastic about this new movie. Maybe it'll be fun, who knows.

And before he knew it, he was already driving by Chanyeol's house to pick him up. There he is, waiting for Chanyeol to pop out from that door. He keeps staring at the white frame as if it would make the latter appear sooner.

And it's either that or pure coincidence that the door opens in only a few seconds after he started staring at it. It's Chanyeol, thank God. He practically runs to the car and opens the door.

Before he can even sit down, he starts fussing about something how he's so sorry he made Baekhyun wait. But Baekhyun isn't so sure what he just said, because he can't focus on anything other than the fact that Chanyeol looks stunning and how badly he's missed him. It only just hit him. Even though they pass each other in school, they rarely make any contact with each other. Just stare at each other and smile.

And that's exactly what Baekhyun does for a moment. Just stares and smiles. Chanyeol's black hair falls on his forehead cutely and his big eyes glisten behind his glasses.

"Right? Baekhyun? Hello?" Chanyeol waves his hand at the latter's face. He's not responding to any of his words, just keeps leaning on the steering wheel and staring. "You haven't said a word since I sat down…"

He wakes up from his thoughts and leans back. "Right. We're cool. Shall we go?"

"Unless you just wanna sit here and talk." Chanyeol bites his lower lip and pats his thighs consistently.

Baekhyun turns to him again with a slight smirk. "Are you scared?" 

The taller one gasps, offended. "What? Of course not! It's not like I've… Never seen a horror movie…"

"You've never seen a horror movie?!"

"Mom doesn’t let me wa-," Chanyeol starts but can't finish the sentence, so his mouth is left hung open. He'd sound pretty lame if he told Baekhyun that his mother has forbid him from watching horror movies. But she is quite controlling, and Chanyeol has never dared to go against her. 

"Your mom would beat your ass if she knew, right?"

Chanyeol sighs and nods slowly. She would. "And that's why we don't tell her."

\---

They're sitting in the back row, they bought some popcorn and the movie is about to begin. Baekhyun looks around himself and taps his hands on the armrests. Closed area. Dark. Full of unknown people. Every cell in his body is screaming at him to leave this place.

"It's starting!!" Chanyeol whispers loudly and smashes a handful of popcorn in his mouth. His eyes glisten when the light from the screen reflects from his eyes. Maybe it's the noise or Chanyeol's eager whisper, but Baekhyun feels a little less anxious.

They're watching The Crazies. The reviews are pretty great, and to be fair it does live up to its expectations. If you're a trained horror-enthusiast, that is. Baekhyun only cringes and winces a few times, he's not a big fan of gore, whereas Chanyeol almost jumps up to the ceiling every time there's a jumpscare.

Baekhyun squeezes his lips shut together when he sees how heavily Chanyeol is breathing. He wants to scare him, he can't resist the urge. He's so deep into the movie.

So he slowly leans closer to Chanyeol's ear and just when he's close enough to almost feel the warmth radiating from his skin, he whispers a tiny little "boo" in his ear.

What he didn't expect was a muffled scream and a smack with the popcorn bowl across his sweet cheek. The salted popcorns fly everywhere, even on the people sitting in front of them. They glare at Chanyeol but don't say anything as the raven-haired boy apologizes profusely.

Baekhyun holds his cheek in shock. It was quite a hit, even with a cardboard bowl.

"Why the heck would you do that?!" Chanyeol whispers so loudly that the people behind them shush at him. He apologizes again.

"I just wanted to scare you. I didn't think you'd hit me!" People in front of them now shush at him. Baekhyun just glares at them.

"It's a natural instinct! I'm so sorry," he apologizes for the tenth time, but only now to Baekhyun. He places his palm on Baekhyun's aching cheek and looks at him in the eyes with the most sympathetic look Baekhyun has ever seen, with such warmth that it physically radiates into his soul. He completely forgets about the pain and everything else in the room.

But then Chanyeol brushes his cheek with his thumb and lowers his hand back to his own lap, and Baekhyun has never been sadder. He looks at the hand on Chanyeol's lap and can't stop thinking about how good it would feel to hold hands with him.

Maybe Chanyeol produces a drug with his touch, in his pheromones, that Baekhyun just can't let go for one second, or he'll get really bad withdrawal symptoms.

A loud scream from the screen wakes him up. Chanyeol is deep into the film once again and spills the rest of the popcorns on the ground. Accidentally, of course. He feels bad for whoever has to clean up this mess. They were also really expensive popcorns, if Chanyeol had bought them himself, he wouldn't have been so careless. But it was Baekhyun's money, so it's fine.

**

"I don't understand how you got so scared," Baekhyun shakes his head. To be fair, the movie made him anxious, not scared. It was so freakishly accurate and close to real life madness, he didn't expect to feel so attacked. They're sitting in his car, driving back to Chanyeol's place.

Chanyeol pushes back his glasses and huffs. Baekhyun glances at him and he's quite sure that that's the cutest thing he's ever seen. It makes him smile like crazy. "It was horrible. Those people were so unpredictable and awful."

"It was horrible but not that scary," Baekhyun says, and it sounds a lot like he was trying to sound manly and like he wasn't afraid of anything.

Chanyeol rolls his eyes. "Yeah, right. Sure you weren't scared."

"I was more terrified of the punch you gave me. Seriously, you should start boxing. We could do it together and you could hit me some more." Baekhyun is the best in changing the subject so subtly that Chanyeol doesn't even notice.

Chanyeol's face heats up again. He does feel bad for punching Baekhyun, but it was his own fault! "That sounds stupid. Are you saying that just to have an excuse to smack me across my face?"

"Nah, I've punched enough people in my lifetime." Baekhyun immediately regrets saying that. He puckers up his lips subconsciously and stares at the road.

"Yeah? How many?" Chanyeol tries to kid around, but Baekhyun's whole aura changes. He's not joking anymore.

Actually, Baekhyun can remember the exact number of people he's beaten up because his father keeps a record. If he goes over the limit, he has to stop. It's a weird system and Baekhyun hates it.

"About a hundred."

Chanyeol's jaw drops to the ground as he keeps staring at Baekhyun. That is quite many people. And he knows not all of them can be from their school. "No way. Are you like the mafia or something?"

Something gets stuck in Baekhyun's throat once Chanyeol finishes his question. He starts laughing awkwardly. "Don't be ridiculous, Yeol, I do boxing. Besides, why would a mafia hang out with you?"

"Hey! What's wrong with hanging out with me?"

Baekhyun pulls over on Chanyeol's driveway and turns to Chanyeol. "Nothing, and that's the thing. The mafia don't hang out with perfect people," he smiles gently to the raven-haired one. "I mean, I assume, how would I know?"

Chanyeol smiles back to him shyly. Did Baekhyun just call him perfect or was it a generalization?

"Do you wanna come inside? My parents aren't home and…"

"And you're terrified of a zombie apocalypse."

"Yeaaaah…" He's really scared of zombies all of a sudden. Or any other virus that turns people into monsters. "Hey, I could die, you never know."

Baekhyun keeps smiling. "Sure, but I can't stay for long."

"That's fine. My sister should come home by ten, can you stay until then?" That's only a couple of hours. He nods before he can even think about the consequences.

So they step into the chilly air outside for a few seconds before they're in Chanyeol's house. It's already quite dark outside, but Chanyeol's house is well lit.

It's not a very big or modern house, it's just very middle class. The walls are painted cream white and there are a few cracks here and there. There are stairs leading up right by the door, and Baekhyun can see that the living room is straight forward from the door.

"Come, I'll give you a tour!" Chanyeol exclaims when tossing his jacket and shoes off by the door. Baekhyun follows this gesture and takes his shoes off. Baekhyun is quite sure that that is not how the real Americans do it, but they're both Korean and more comfortable with taking their shoes off when inside a house. What's up with leaving them on, anyway? It'll leave the floor dirty and your feet hurting.

Chanyeol takes him to the kitchen-dining area first, which is on the right. There's no door and the table is small. This is not something Baekhyun is used to. "This is our kitchen. It's not very pretty, but I think it's quite cozy," Chanyeol exclaims. And Baekhyun nods. It does feel very homey.

Then Chanyeol starts leading him past another frame without a door, past the kitchen and they land on a living room area. The walls here are big brown bricks, which look fine. There's also a couch and a TV, of course. A few plants in the corner as well.

"Our living room, as you can see. It's pretty normal. Oh, and the room to your left is my parents' room, but we don't need to see that. There's also our bathroom behind the couch." Baekhyun glances at the doors to his left and thinks. But before he can ask anything, he feels Chanyeol's hand in his. Then he starts leading him up the stairs. All of a sudden he can't even think about what he was going to ask. He'd let Chanyeol take him anywhere.

"And the best part!" Chanyeol seems genuinely so excited about all this it's adorable. They walk past a door with a bunch of cute stickers on it and make it to another door. "My room!" Chanyeol is about to open the door but then remembers something and hesitates for a bit. "Uh… It's a bit messy though. So, if you find a skeleton there or something, know that it's normal."

"It can't be that bad," Baekhyun underestimates, but when Chanyeol opens the door it is worse than he had expected. He didn't expect much though. He's so used to tidy houses because he has people clean for him and he generally likes it when things are in order. There's nothing in order in this room, however.

"Judging by your face, it was worse," Chanyeol's cheeks heat up a little when he admits it.

"It's… Not that bad… You can still see the floor… Somehow..."

Chanyeol chuckles and walks past all the clothes and paper on the floor. It really isn't as bad as Baekhyun is making it seem like. He dodges a few piles of trash but all of a sudden the trash pile moves. There's something in there. He quickly jumps to stand on the bed that's in the middle of the room with a not so manly scream.

"What what what??" Chanyeol tries to analyze the situation and looks at where Baekhyun is pointing at.

"Something's moving there and whatever it is, I don't like it." Baekhyun is thinking of a rat.

Chanyeol glances at Toby's cage and sees that it's empty. Then he crouches and picks up the pesky little rascal that had somehow escaped from it's cage. "Relax, it's just Toby." Baekhyun winces and refuses to get down.

"You have a very long rat in your room." He leans back to indicate that he's not a fan.

"He's a ferret. Look," he lifts up Toby in his arms closer to Baekhyun but he quickly jumps off the bed to get further away from it. "Relax, he's a very nice little dude." Then he brings Toby close and hugs him. Baekhyun is mortified.

"That long rat is your pet?"

"Excuse you, that long rat has a name, and it's Toby."

"That long rat is named Toby?"

Chanyeol can't help but laugh at that. It's so stupid he can't but laugh. He puts Toby back in his cage and Baekhyun gets a little less tense. "You've beaten up a hundred guys but a tiny little ferret makes you almost pee your pants."

"I'm hundred percent positive that that rat could take me down with a whiff of his whiskers," Baekhyun says but can't take his eyes off Toby. It's just so weird. "Besides, if I had my boxing gloves on I'd feel a lot safer."

Chanyeol chuckles. "Now I know your weakness. What about Mr. Beets right here?" He moves a little to show off his goldfish. Baekhyun squints his eyes and gets down to eye-level with the goldfish.

"He's weird. But I know he'll die if he gets out of water so he's alright." Then he gets up to see Chanyeol smiling. "Are there any other weird pets you have in this house that I should be afraid of?"

"About a dozen spiders." Chanyeol is so nonchalant when saying that, it's weird. Baekhyun leans back a little and his face twists so horribly that he'd probably scream if he saw his own face in the mirror right now. "I'm kidding! I don't know how many spiders there are."

"How can you live here?"

"What kind of a tidy house do you live in then? No one can avoid spiders."

"At least I don't live with a long rat and a water slimeball." Baekhyun points to the aquarium and zoo on the desk.

Chanyeol sits down on his bed with a wide smile. "You're so weird. Everyone at school is scared of you, but they should just come at you with a little fat rat and you'd probably run away screaming."

Baekhyun sits down next to him and stares into his eyes. Chanyeol is absolutely right. But he's also the only one who knows that, and he's completely fine with it. Chanyeol is so… Dependable. It's like he could tell everything about himself to him and he wouldn't judge.

They've been staring into each other's eyes for quite some time now. But it doesn't feel awkward. Weird, sure, but more like, butterflies-in-your-stomach type of weird.

A sudden noise makes Chanyeol focus his attention elsewhere. He fishes out his phone.

"Oh shoot, it's my sister. She said she'll be here in five. You should go, I'm not allowed to have people over while I'm home alone." Baekhyun nods, reluctantly. All good things must come to an end.

Chanyeol accompanies Baekhyun downstairs to the front door in silence. There's this tension between them that neither of them dare to cut out somehow.

"Thanks for keeping the zombies out tonight. I completely forgot about them already," Chanyeol finally breaks the silence before Baekhyun can leave.

"Anytime, rat-lover."

And with that, Baekhyun is leaving Chanyeol behind yet again. Why his heart aches to go back to Chanyeol only seconds after leaving, he doesn't understand. What he does understand is that he's probably going crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaa hahaa i'm a little early as it is only saturday! hahaaa!! (although, yeah, almost 2 am but still. i can't even see anymore i'm so tired askjfdkI) but hey christmas is coming closer ! that's why I feel like spoiling you ahhah i'll update next sunday sure but i'll also try to update on christmas eve or day! as a present uwu ♥ 
> 
> this chapter is probably my favorite so far so i hope you like it !! ♥ it was fun to write, because baek might be tough but he ain't no match to a long rat.
> 
> thank you! and as always, leave your thoughts down belowww! see you next week uwu
> 
> (also!! shameless self promo but i made a baekyeol oneshot, it's called Nobody Would Love you (Like I Do) so if you're interested, check it out!♥ thank you)


	6. unknown steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has some violence and mentions of death, be warned

It's Monday and Baekhyun is on his way home after a long tiring day at school. To his luck, he only has to bear this semester for one more week and then the well-deserved summer break awaits. Right now he's driving home, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, trying to remember a song he heard earlier today. He couldn't care less about school right now.

He forgets to pay attention to the road when he almost runs over a long rat crossing the road. He has to stop his car. He furrows his brows when the ferret keeps looking at him like he knew him.

Baekhyun can't but think about Chanyeol's ferret Toby when seeing that little rascal. He exits the car to shoo the rat-like creature away from the road. "C'mon, rat, you'll get run over and hit or something if you don't move!" But the thing doesn't move an inch. It's odd seeing a ferret out in the wild like this, but Baekhyun doesn't think much of it. It's even odder that the rat isn't afraid of Baekhyun.

But he would rather not touch or get near the animal. He would actually rather die. He tries to think of ways to get the ferret moving, but he knows nothing about these creatures. For a second he even thinks about calling Chanyeol to ask for help.

Just as he's fetching his phone out of his pocket, the ferret runs away just like that. As if it was afraid of cell phones. Baekhyun sighs in relief and turns around, but his phone falls off his hands as he gets startled by seeing a big figure in front of him, staring him down. Baekhyun's heart starts beating rapidly as the adrenaline pumps in his veins.

He does a quick evaluation in his mind. His car is right there, but the guy could get him if he's not fast enough. He could run, but this guy could be a lot faster than him. He could also fight him, but judging by the size of those arms, he's not someone to mess with.

The guy just stands there, not doing anything. Maybe Baekhyun got this all wrong, maybe he's just some random guy walking by. Baekhyun slowly backs away from the man, to his car, but he keeps staring at him as he moves. Then he starts approaching and Baekhyun moves a little faster. He opens the front door to the driver's seat to be greeted by some other random guy sitting in his seat! This is an ambush. How did he not hear them coming?

That's the last thing he can think of before his vision goes black and he loses all consciousness.

...

Baekhyun blinks slowly to get accustomed to the lights of the room. He doesn't recognize where he is, nor does he have any recollection of how he got here. All he can think about is that his head hurts like hell and he can't move his hands. They seem to be tied to his back. Through several attempts to move, he notices that he's tied to the chair he's sitting on.

The man from before, the buff one with no hair, walks closer to Baekhyun and spits in his face to really wake him up. Baekhyun's nose scrunches at the disgusting act. He really badly wants to wipe it off his face but how? His hands are tied.

"Who the fuck are you and what the hell do you want?" he says harshly, glaring at both of them. He has no idea where they are or how long he was passed out but somehow he doesn't know how to be scared.

The lanky one sniffs and walks up to Baekhyun now. "You got two choices, youngling, either you give us the shots or I kill you." He has a weird accent and it makes Baekhyun cringe. The man takes out a knife from his pocket and presses the chilly metal on Baekhyun's cheek.

"Not even an introduction first?"

He presses the knife harder on Baekhyun's cheek, making him wince, but his heartbeat doesn't pick up. This feels too surreal to him as if he was watching a movie. Or acting in one. This surely has to be one of his father's tests again.

"You're young. You don't wanna die. Just tell us where we'll find the guy and we let you live," the lanky one grits through his yellow teeth. He looks tired.

Baekhyun goes over the things his father has taught him about these things. First step: deny everything. "Isn't that kind of bold of you to assume I know anything? I'm just a regular high schooler."

It's deadly silent for a few seconds before the big guy opens his mouth. "Quit playin' dumb. We know you're involved with the mafia."

Step two: still in denial, act your way out of it.

Baekhyun doesn't even flinch. "The mafia? There's a mafia here? Where? Should I be scared?"

The smaller guy rolls up his sleeves. "You leave me no choice." Then he throws his fist in Baekhyun's face so hard he felt his brain move inside his head. For a guy that short and skinny, he does throw a good one. Baekhyun feels the stinging pain on his cheek for a long while afterward. He's pretty sure he broke something. His skin if nothing else.

"If you didn't know anything, you wouldn't have been so calm all this time."

"It's not my fault I rarely get upset."

The bigger guy sits down on the ground and sighs deeply. "Louis, you said this was gonna be a piece of cake, but this guy is obviously not breaking."

"Shut it, Martin." Now Baekhyun knows their names. They both seem irritated.

Step three: make them turn against each other.

"Oh, Martin. Did Louis promise you an easy catch? Does he always do that?" He fakes pity in his voice.

The big guy huffs. "Well, as a matter of fact, he does! He always promises that it'll be done in half an hour or so."

"Maybe if you did your job better and didn't always leave everything up to me!" Then they start yelling at each other. 

Step four: break free. 

Baekhyun sees this as a great opportunity to try and uncuff himself. But the ropes are strong and tightly wrapped around his wrists. At this rate, the only things he's cutting are his hands.

He opts for the second option, drop and roll for the knife on the ground. He shakes his body in the direction of the knife that was once pressed on his cheek. He calculates that if he turns around and falls on the ground, he could be able to reach it. All the while the kidnappers are fighting.

"You're such a pussy all the time! You'd rather stay home and worship the ground under your wife's feet!"

"Hey! Don't you dare bring my wife into this, Louis! You know she's sensitive when she's pregnant."

"SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKING MORON!"

Baekhyun has successfully dropped on the ground while they're being the loudest. Now he just has to find the knife, and that's probably the hardest task. It would be a lot easier if he had eyes on the back of his head.

He feels a hard object in his hand after searching for a while. He starts smiling as he tries to fidget with the knife in his hands.

But then he feels the crushing pain of someone stepping on his fingers and it gets quiet. The knife in between the shoe and Baekhyun's hand is twisted on top of him in such a way that it cuts him in his palm. He winces in pain but tries to focus on something else.

"And what the fuck do you think you're doing?!" It's the smaller one. Thank God, Baekhyun would not have been able to endure the big guy's weight crushing his fingers.

"Umm, leaving?" Baekhyun says as if it wasn't obvious. Louis steps off his fingers. He tries to straighten them but he has to puff out air to muffle the screams. That hurt. This bitch must've broken them.

"Fine. Leave then. We'll just take the one who means the most to you."

"Good luck trying to figure that out." Martin puts the chair back up and makes Baekhyun face the other kidnapper.

"Huh. Does the name Chanyeol ring any bells?" He shows a picture of them together at the movies.

Baekhyun gets something stuck in his throat.

"Oh? It does seem like that name is familiar to you."

Baekhyun curses so loudly in his mind. "I've maybe seen that guy somewhere, but we're not close." He tries to explain. He tries to think about anything else, but he can't take it. He can't put Chanyeol in this amount of danger. They just met.

"You're blushing," the bigger guy says with a sly smirk.

"What?! I am not!" Well great. Now he is blushing. He wasn't before Martin made that notice. Such a dick move.

"You are. I'm telling you, Louis, he's totally smitten."

"Even better."

"I barely even know his name!" Baekhyun tries to save the situation but to no avail. Why do these men know more about him than his own family?

Step five: I'll teach you that later.

Baekhyun curses in his head even louder. His father never taught him how to respond to personal attacks. Not in situations like these, not in real life.

But surely this is only a test by his father… Right? If it is, then it means his father knows about Chanyeol… He doesn't know which would be worse.

"We'll go get Chanyeol now. We'll bring him here and torture him as long as it takes to break you down." He says it so nonchalantly like it wasn't a big deal at all.

Panic starts taking over Baekhyun's body yet again. He can't think rationally. Time is running out as the ambushers are almost out the door.

"Wait!"

They turn around to face him.

"Please don't touch him! I'll tell you whatever you wanna know." He hangs his head low. He understands that either these guys kill Chanyeol or his father is going to kill him. And he'd rather die himself than go back to his boring old life. But this doesn't mean that he's not going to take his sweet time. 

"Interesting offer. However, I don't feel like that's fast enough."

Baekhyun's whole face twists as he looks utterly confused.

"You see, you could be just saying that, and frankly, we haven't got all night. So we're gonna get Chanyeol and torture him to make you spit it all out faster."

Baekhyun has so many questions. How did they even get that picture? How did they find Chanyeol? Does everyone else know about this? Is Chanyeol not safe anymore? But why Chanyeol? How do they even know he's the son of the mafia?

"Please! No! He hasn't done anything! I'll tell you what you wanna know." His head hangs low again, despair taking over his whole mind. He'd do anything to keep Chanyeol safe.

The guys turn to each other and look like they're speaking telepathically. Then they come back in and close the door.

"See, Louis, everyone has a weak spot. Alright then, we just wanna know a few things. If you lie to us, we'll chop off your fingers and then your head." 

Baekhyun nods reluctantly.

"So. Where's the crack?"

Baekhyun furrows his brows. "What the fuck are you talking about? What crack? Drugs?"

"Wrong answer. We heard that you could help us out."

"First you gotta help me understand what the hell is going on."

"Cut the crap! Do you want us to bring Chanyeol?" Louis gets irritated. He fishes a cigarette from his pocket and lights it up. All while having the most distressed look on his face.

"I already told you, I-," Baekhyun tries to convince them but gets cut off by Martin throwing a punch at him. He doesn't dare to open his eyes. The pain is much stronger this time, compared to the first punch. He's pretty sure he'll have a black eye tomorrow.

Baekhyun enjoys the darkness inside his head when his eyes are closed. He can think better.

Two sudden gunshots firing make him fly his eyes open. Then he sees two bodies bleeding in front of him on the ground. Somebody shot these two abductors to death. But why didn't they kill Baekhyun as well? Unless it's...

"Mijun?" Baekhyun asks silently. There's a window to his right, maybe he shot them from there. Mijun almost always comes to save the day. It's weird, like he knew where Baekhyun was at all times…

"Are you alright?" He hears that familiar light voice behind him ask. He's never been happier to hear his bodyguard's voice.

"Yeah, I'm alright." Mijun starts untying him from the chair. "How did you get here?"

Mijun chuckles as he releases Baekhyun. "There's a back door right there. These guys weren't very bright."

"You know them? Did my dad have something to do with this?"

"They're junkies. They want drugs, nothing else. And no, this was unexpected. You know your father would never put you in real danger."

"Are you saying that I got beat up by two junkies..?" Baekhyun mumbles out as he stares down on the two guys' bodies. It's hard to grasp that they're actually dead now. Just a minute ago Martin punched him. He tries to pick up the knife from the ground but trying to bend his left middle finger hurts too much to do so. He hisses in pain and Mijun gives him a worried look.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"That bastard broke my finger…" He mumbles some more.

"I saw that. You were great, you did just as your father had told you."

Baekhyun turns to Mijun with eyes as big as plates. He looks like a deer in headlights. He's experiencing some difficulties breathing as his heart is throbbing so hard he can feel his pulse in his every vein. Mijun heard everything...

"But…" Mijun checks Louis' pockets and finds a picture. The picture where Baekhyun is whispering something in Chanyeol's ear in the movie theatre. It's a very dark photo but Baekhyun remembers that day vividly. Good thing they didn't take a picture when Chanyeol punched him. That would've been priceless.

Mijun now holds the picture in front of Baekhyun. "Who's Chanyeol?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhhhh cliffhanger!!  
as a christmas gift i'll update this on christmas eve! so you don't have to wait long haha  
as always, thank you and share your thoughts belowwww ><  
(sorry i'm a bit late. christmas is always so busy aaa)


	7. no friends

Mijun repeats his question. "Who's Chanyeol? Why were you so protective of him?"

"I… He's…" Baekhyun struggles to find the words. He has this uncontrollable need to spit out ruthless lies to him, just like he's used to. "He's Chanyeol, he's my new friend and I…"

"You're not supposed to have friends." Mijun has the most concerned look on his face as he stares down on him.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. "Well, that sucks! I've never had this kind of connection with anyone before. I'll stop all of it if it gets too dangerous. Please, Mijun, just… Just don't tell Dad…"

Mijun looks at the picture. It's a very dark one, he can barely even recognize Baekhyun in it. Then he sighs deeply. "Things have already gotten pretty dangerous, Baekhyun. And I can't come rescue you every time this happens."

He wants to say something, protest against it, but deep down he knows Mijun is right, Mijun is almost always right. He ends up nodding. Then they proceed to get back home and Baekhyun is mentally preparing himself to be lectured by his father.  _ Step 5, here I come. _

***

"Toby! Where are you?" Chanyeol is outside, calling for his pet ferret. He just wants his pet back.

"Chanyeol come back inside. He'll come back soon, but you running around in the backyard won't help anyone," his sister says from the door.

Chanyeol turns around and stomps his foot. "He wouldn't be missing if you hadn't let him out!"

"I'm sorry! It was an accident!"

Chanyeol huffs loudly but does get back inside eventually. "Accident. You've been so sloppy lately, is college that bad?" he asks her, but she just smiles faintly.

"You have no idea."

The mother steps into the living room area where the two are fighting yet again. "Stop worrying about that damn ferret and help me set the table." Chanyeol furrows his brows but follows his mother into the kitchen.

"But he's out there somewhere, alone and scared," he mumbles as he takes four plates in his hands.

"Channie, dear, get your tall body in here and fetch Mommy the salt from the top shelf." She points to the salt in a really high spot. Why it even is there, who knows.

Chanyeol puts down the plates and reaches for the salt. To him, it's just in the right height. It could be that he was the one who left it there… He passes the salt to his mother but something else on the shelf catches his eye. It's a letter. He snatches it when his mom isn't looking.

The letter is handwritten in Korean, Chanyeol can't understand much of it. The only thing he does understand is "Dear Sungjin" in the beginning. Sungjin is the name of his father. Also the words "I am sorry" somewhere on the letter.

His mother turns to see him examining the letter and she quickly snatches it from him. Chanyeol is left unsure of what to think. Apparently it's important to his mother.

"What is that? It looks old."

"It's nothing." The mother turns very secretive as she hides the letter in her pocket.

"Yes, it is. It started with dear Sungjin. Were you breaking up with him or something?"

The mother doesn't say anything, just keeps stirring the pot.

"Fine then. Keep your secrets."

"It's a very old letter. You weren't even born then. It was before we moved here, I thought it was too much to move away from our home country… But I didn't know it got with us all the way from South Korea to here…"

"You were breaking up with Dad…"

"But I didn't! Because I realized that…"

***

"Love means sacrifice, Baekhyun. You have to learn that. Who knows, maybe one day you will fall in love and have to make sacrifices for the other one."

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. He's being lectured by his father after Mijun told him what had happened. He left out everything involving Chanyeol, and the picture is still with him, hopefully, it stays that way. "So, you're gonna teach me step 5?"

His father sighs and looks out the window. "I guess now is a time as good as any. Sit down," he gives orders like to a dog. And like a dog, Baekhyun obeys, this time. "Step five is most commonly used after you have failed step four, which is..?"

"Escaping," Baekhyun says with his eyes squinted.

"Right. Let's say your plan to escape has been ruined -- Remember, this is a simplified version. Your capturers see you and stop you. Now you've come across a conflict. What do you do?"

Baekhyun stays quiet when his father is expecting an answer from him. If he knew, he wouldn't have been in that situation.

His father starts smiling. "Exactly, you stay quiet. The less you talk, the less they will have to turn against you. However, when they start threatening you, you have to act as if nothing mattered to you."

Baekhyun starts batting his eyelashes harshly. "B-but…"

"No buts. The best option is to ignore them."

Mijun awkwardly interrupts them: "But what if they… Had evidence?" Baekhyun glances at him with despair in his eyes, so Mijun quickly throws his hands in the air. "Just a hypothetical situation."

Mr. Byun glares at Mijun, then Baekhyun. "Then the person who is going through step five is an absolute buffoon for leaving behind such clear evidence of even existing in the first place."

Baekhyun furrows his brows as he lowers his gaze on the table in front of him. This lecture turned out to be far more irritating than he had expected. His blood is boiling in his veins and he just wants to flip this table upside down. How does anyone know he exist? They've done a great job hiding his identity, how could it be out there?

"But, in that case, you have to make a sacrifice, whether it's your life or money or power. But it's left to your own judgment. Before confessing you have to do everything it takes to plan your escape."

Mr. Byun proceeds to tell him all the secrets of escaping. How to dress up in shadows, cause illusions, all that good stuff. And Baekhyun feels that this information will be the most valuable of all he's learned.

***

"I can't believe it. It was just some random thing Yura did and you decided that nah, we're not gonna break up after all."

"Well, that random drawing of us living in the US made me realize that I'd go anywhere with your father."

"Unbelievable. If you really thought that, then why does that letter  _ still _ exist?" Chanyeol keeps huffing and flailing his arms everywhere very theatrically.

"I don't know! Maybe your father saved it, who knows? Chanyeol, why are you mad?"

Chanyeol blinks a few times as his mouth hangs open. "Because… Because… I don't know! I mean I guess I should be happy that you didn't break up and now I'm alive but… My image of a perfect family shattered."

"There's no such thing as perfect, Chanyeol, besides, it happened like 20 years ago."

Chanyeol mutters something under his breath. "You say that now but perfect comes back alive when I score 98 on a test…"

The front door opens, cutting off Chanyeol and his mother's conversation. Chanyeol checks to see who it is, and it's his father with Toby in his embrace. Chanyeol's frown turns upside down and he starts jumping up and down towards his ferret.

"I found this little guy outside. Why did you let him out like that?"

Chanyeol beams as he takes Toby and squishes his face in his. "I was so scared that I couldn't see you ever again, Toby!"

"He didn't, it was me, by accident," Yura tells the father, which makes Chanyeol still fire a glare in her direction.

"Yura…" The father shakes his head but then chuckles lightly. Chanyeol looks a lot like his father, they're both tall and very handsome. But his father is a corrections officer. Chanyeol is forced to become a doctor or a lawyer or something similar.

Chanyeol releases the ferret in his room and gets back downstairs to sit in front of the table. The mother is still stirring the soup and the father is going through the mail next to Chanyeol. The latter keeps looking at the letters, even though it's probably illegal to snoop around someone else's letters. But they're all just bills.

There's one bill that catches his father's eyes. His eyes grow wide and he starts coughing after inhaling too quickly. "500 dollars! Yura have you texted over your limit?!"

The mother brings the soup on the table, but no one can eat before his father is done yelling.

"What's the matter, hon?" The mother tries to ask. They all seem confused — except Chanyeol. He looks at the table in shock.

"This phone bill is 500 dollars!" He shows the bill to all of them and Chanyeol doesn't even dare to look.

"Yura!"

"It wasn't me! I rarely text anyone anymore, plus, I handle my own phone bills, remember?" Yura defends herself.

All the eyes land on an uncomfortable Chanyeol.

The father crushes the bill slightly as his hand forms into a tight fist. "Chanyeol…"

Chanyeol bites his lips and looks up at his father. "Yes?" He's practically shaking in his seat.

"Explain." His voice is stern.

"I… I'm sorry?"

Then his father takes a newspaper, rolls it and hits Chanyeol with it lightly. "Who," he hits him after every word, "have," again, "you been," again, "texting," a few more times, "this much?!" The final hit is the hardest. Chanyeol of course tried to defend himself with his arms and he succeeded mostly.

"Maybe it's the guy he had over while you guys were away."

Chanyeol turns to his sister so fast his world spins. He whines. "Yura!" Yura covers her mouth as she realizes what she did.

"You've had someone over while we were away? You know that's against the rules," the mother joins in with a stern voice. His parents are the worst at setting boundaries. They always take it too far, leave the boundaries too close, so close it's impossible not to trip over them.

"I swear, I didn't! Okay, maybe I did but it was only for a very short time! He dropped me home after the movie and you know how much I hate being home alone!" The judging eyes burn on his flesh. 

Then his mother's face lightens up as she realizes. "So he's the one driving the BMW?" 

"Yeah," Chanyeol mutters. 

The mother starts smiling with her eyes as well. "He's rich?"

Chanyeol furrows his brows when he sees the look on all of their faces. They look hopeful. "So what if he was? He's my friend, not your bank."

"What's his name?" His father now asks. This is why Chanyeol doesn't bring home any friends. Well, that, nor does he have any real friends other than Baekhyun. Sure he sometimes hangs out with the more autistic kid at school or other nerds or his extremely annoying cousin, Junmyeon... But they are all just to make him appear a little less lonely.

"Umm... Baekhyun."

"He's Korean too?" Yura suddenly asks although Chanyeol has already told her about him. Maybe he didn't tell her his name.

Chanyeol nods once.

"When are we going to meet him?"

"I don't know… Never?" Chanyeol casually drops. "Why are you so interested in him, anyway? You're interrogating me like he was my boyfriend or something."

The parents make a face to each other, like telling each other to ask him. The mother loses in the psychic battle so she clears her throat. "Well… Is he?"

"What? No!" Chanyeol quickly yells out. His face starts heating up.

"It's 2010, you can never tell if someone's… you know..." The father says quietly with his eyes avoiding his son.

"I dare you to finish that sentence, Dad."

"Well, you know what I mean… Sometimes a male might be attracted to another male…"

Chanyeol can't look at his father who's trying to avoid saying the word most middle-aged men feel disgusted by. He leans on his arm and wishes for death to come sooner. Even Yura looks uncomfortable.

"You know…"

Chanyeol groans and massages his temples. "Gay, Dad, the word you're looking for is gay."

"Yes, that…" He still refuses to say that word out loud. Then he looks up at his son with remorseful eyes. "But I'm absolutely fine with it. I mean them."

"Great." Chanyeol forces a smile and nods. Nothing has ever been this painfully awkward in his life. His parents are not the most open-minded people he knows. Yet they always make a huge fuss about how they're okay with gay people as if they knew Chanyeol was one. But he's never told them. He's never told anyone, so that's impossible. "Can we eat now?"

"But you do realize that you have to pay this bill, right?" The father adds while Chanyeol is scooping up soup on his plate. Chanyeol sighs and nods.

"And you're grounded until summer break."

Chanyeol turns to his mother with pleading eyes but she's made up her mind. Chanyeol sighs deeply in defeat. "Yes, Mom."

***

"Yes, Dad."

"Good. Now go. And remember, you  _ can die _ if you don't start paying more attention to your surroundings," Mr. Byun says after letting Baekhyun walk away.

Baekhyun looks down. He could die. Sure. He wouldn't mind. After all, can life in a cage even be called life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS I LOVE YOU ALLLLLLLLL♥☻♥


	8. not cold

Baekhyun has not been answering Chanyeol's messages. Nor has he seen him in school much. Chanyeol's thoughts start circling in loops and every idea comes back to one thought: Baekhyun is ignoring him. Baekhyun hates him and has decided to ghost him. There's no other explanation.

Then he sees Baekhyun at his lockers and Chanyeol practically runs there. Funny, they've only talked to each other for about a month. But 6 weeks of nonstop talking does make people closer, as you can imagine.

"Hi."

Baekhyun gets startled as he sees Chanyeol standing next to him with a wide smile. "Jesus fucking Christ, Chanyeol, you scared me." He's holding his heart in place before continuing to shove binders and books in his locker. Not that he much uses them, but it's for the looks.

"I guess we're even now," the taller one says with a raise of his eyebrows. He leans on the other lockers and watches as Baekhyun moves and stares at that beautiful smile of his. He really is the guy he's been crushing on for two years, and he's definitely not as scary as people say he is. Not that they talk about him much, but Chanyeol has developed a sensitive ear to the word Ben. Then he notices the cast on his left middle and ring finger, he was too busy staring at his smile to notice his hand being all covered up in bandages. "What happened to your fingers? Are you okay?"

Baekhyun looks down on his hand and, as if for the first time. "Oh, this?" He looks at the bottom of his locker in thought, avoiding the taller one's eyes. "I punched someone at practice so hard I broke my middle finger. It's nothing big, it'll heal soon."

Chanyeol hesitates for a second. He wants to hold his hand, hold the bandage and maybe blow on it, maybe it would heal. But he doesn't, he's too scared. Baekhyun could think he's weird. "Oh," is all he can say at first. "At least tell me you won't be punching people while you have that cast on."

"Of course not… Not with my left hand at least," he tries to make light of the situation, to which Chanyeol rolls his eyes lightly. He's trying to get accustomed to Baekhyun's humor, but he can't but worry when he keeps joking about painful things.

"You must've been in a hell of a battle, even your face is a bit bruised." Again Chanyeol wants to touch his bruises but he can't. That would be even weirder. So he sets on playing with his thumbs.

Then Baekhyun smiles the warmest smile to him as he starts walking away from the lockers. "You should see the other guy." Chanyeol follows like an obedient puppy his owner.

"Anyways, I haven't seen you in a long while. Have you even been to school this week? Also, why are you not replying to my texts?" Chanyeol asks with the most concerned look on his face.

Baekhyun stops walking and turns to him. "I am so sorry about that. I was sick so I couldn't come to school and I broke my fucking phone, so I couldn't reach you." And for the first time In who knows how long, he's actually sincere. Then he turns away and mumbles: "Besides I thought you would've forgotten about me by now..." Chanyeol hears only bits of this, not really understanding what he's saying.

He sighs in relief. "Thank God, because for a second I thought you were going to ghost me." Baekhyun makes a dumb face to his little worries before bursting out laughing.

"I thought ghosting was only used in the dating world," he says with a smirk, obviously taking joy in how Chanyeol's cheeks flush a sweet shade of pink at his comment. Chanyeol mentally slaps himself, that wasn't even anything to blush about. Just the thought of dating Baekhyun makes the blood rush to his head and his heart beat way too fast. "Just give me your number, I'll text you." He throws the phone to Chanyeol, but the latter just looks at the thing in his hands like it was from outer space. It's a smartphone, one of those Apple products they've been selling for a while. A thing Chanyeol would not be able to afford in a million years. He hands it back to Baekhyun, shaking his head.

"I have no fucking idea how to use this. Just give me some paper, I'll write it down for you."

Baekhyun shrugs and digs out a piece of paper and a pen for him to write on. He does it quickly.

Baekhyun takes the piece of paper from Chanyeol and their fingers touch lightly, but enough to make Chanyeol's heart pick up its pace again. That, or he's having a heart attack. Baekhyun swings the paper in his grasp with a wide smile. "Thanks, I'll text you later." He's about to walk away with a big grin on his face, but Chanyeol stops him.

"Wait, so about that…" He awkwardly scratches his nape. "We can't text as much."

"What? Why not?" Baekhyun already looks like Chanyeol is calling it off with him. They're not dating, but this looks like a scene from some soap opera.

"Because... My parents pay my phone bill, and last time it was… over 500 dollars and now I have to pay them 500 bucks so…"

Baekhyun furrows his brows. 500 dollars is probably not a lot of money for him. "Okay. I understand. We should make plans in person so we have to text less."

Chanyeol's whole face twists in confusion. "That's a great idea, but why don't we just switch to Facebook or MySpace or something? Although I can't… Go online that often but it's better than nothing." 

Baekhyun's eyebrows knit together. He looks like he's thinking hard about this. "Yeah, I like your idea. I just… Don't have Facebook or MySpace. But I'll work it out."

"Great! I don't wanna stop talking to you." As soon as that sentence leaves his lips his face flushes. Again. He didn't mean to say that out loud!

"Me neither," Baekhyun says sincerely, the bell ringing cutting him off. "Where should we go next Friday? Oh, I know! How about the beach?"

"There are no beaches here in Concord…" Chanyeol gets ready to leave and get to class, but he can't before Baekhyun makes his point clear. He wouldn't possibly go through the effort of driving them both somewhere far, would he?

"Who says we have to stay in Concord?"

**

Baekhyun took Chanyeol to Hampton Beach, the infamous beach on the East Coast. It's only an hour away and their summer vacation already started a couple of days ago, so they've got all the time in the world.

"Have you ever been here before?" Baekhyun asks from the nervous wreck that is Chanyeol as the Sun drills beneath his skin, making the top of his head feel like it's on fire. They're already in their swim shorts but are both too self-conscious to take off their shirts. Baekhyun has a white tee on while Chanyeol has a yellow tee. The colors Chanyeol wear make Baekhyun happy somehow.

"Once, when I was a kid. Then my dad said never again and we never again went back," Chanyeol says while hugging his knees.

"Why did he say that?"

"Because…" Chanyeol points to one side of the beach. "There are massive, slippery rocks in there and a crap ton of people on a really hot summer day, and two little kids to look after… I guess it was too traumatizing for him."

Baekhyun chuckles as he looks around the beach. They set camp quite far from the ocean, even though there's plenty of room. Not many people have decided to join them to this beach today, even though the sun is burning right above them and the breeze is warm, just a light tickle on their hair.

Chanyeol sits next to him on the thick blanket he brought with him. He keeps his feet on the warm sand and watches as it gets between his toes and then falls out. "Have you ever been here?"

"Nope," he says with a shake of his head. "I rarely go anywhere."

"You got all that money and you're telling me you don't travel? Wow, what a waste."

"You're just saying that because you don't have money to travel. Money doesn't bring me happiness, and I can guarantee you, it won't to you either."

Chanyeol keeps digging the sand with his feet. "Rich people always say that. I wish I had enough money to make me realize that it doesn't make me happy." Baekhyun laughs at his statement, the kind of laughter he only uses around Chanyeol. The most real laughter. It brings a smile on Chanyeol's face too.

"You know what  _ does  _ make me happy though?" Baekhyun leans back on his arms and squints as he's trying to see Chanyeol's face despite the sun trying to blind him.

"Hmm?" Chanyeol locks his gaze with him.

"Seeing you so carelessly toss sand over your feet, not caring what or who has defecated on it."

Chanyeol stops, he has the most horrid expression on his face. "Ew! Why did you have to make me think about that?"

Baekhyun laughs so hard his cheeks start aching. "I'm sorry, please, continue."

"No! I won't leave this blanket again." He hugs his knees as he keeps looking over it. Like the game, 'the floor is lava.' Only this time it's 'the sand is disgusting'.

"Relax, Chanyeol, it's nothing your body can't handle."

Chanyeol gets a little less tense. He knows that. Then an idea pops up in his mind. When the shorter one is laughing, Chanyeol strikes and pushes him hard enough to make him roll off the blanket. Good thing he was sitting so close to the edge.

Baekhyun's face is mushed on the sand. He lifts up his head from the teeny tiny rocks stinging on his face and leans on his arms. "What the hell, Chanyeol?"

"It makes me extremely happy to see your face in the dirty sand, not knowing who or what has defecated on it." He has the stupidest grin on his face.

Baekhyun starts smiling too. "Oh, I'm so gonna…" Suddenly it feels like he forgot what he was going to say as he get lost in Chanyeol's big beautiful eyes. The way he looks at him with admiration and anticipation, no one has ever shown this much interest in him. Not even Mijun. He quickly shakes his head, but can't come up with anything to say. All of a sudden he feels immense pressure to say something, anything, but Chanyeol literally makes his head go empty.

"You're gonna what?" He's daring Baekhyun to finish that sentence.

Baekhyun stares at Chanyeol for a while, opening his mouth but then closing it again. He is so fucked.

"You can't even think of what to do with me."

Baekhyun snaps out of it and gets an idea that makes him smile mischievously. He gets up and grooms himself from the dirt. Then he takes off his shirt, throws it on Chanyeol and starts walking towards the ocean, leaving Chanyeol hanging.

Chanyeol tries his hardest not to stare at Baekhyun's body as the latter is walking away. God is it difficult. Baekhyun has a nice figure, he's quite lean, not too much, but enough to make Chanyeol drool after him. Great, he was already drooling after him and now there are even more reasons for that. It makes him even more conscious about his own tall and skinny body. For a fleeting moment, he hesitates before tossing his own shirt on the blanket and running after Baekhyun.

Baekhyun is not so subtle when checking out Chanyeol's body. He looks up and down on him, then he looks up at his face and sees how uncomfortable he looks. Chanyeol keeps his arms crossed over his chest and looks away. There's a tint of red on his cheeks, as there is often. Baekhyun smiles reassuringly to the latter and it does make Chanyeol look a little less awkward.

"I would've looked like a buffoon if you hadn't followed me."

"Buffoon. That's such a funny word. Like, why not just say clown?" Chanyeol chuckles.

"Huh… I've never thought of that. I just think I've heard the word buffoon more," Baekhyun thinks out loud. His father uses it a lot. But he won't tell Chanyeol that. They get near the water that is gently sloping into the distance. It goes on into the horizon, small waves pushing through. Chanyeol looks over at Baekhyun who seems peaceful, breathing in the fresh air. Slowly he starts walking towards the cold water. Chanyeol just watches as Baekhyun is walking further away from him. "Is it cold?"

Baekhyun turns around, conflicted. The weather is really hot, but the water is cold. He has a big grin on his face. "No. You should try!" His skin wants to leave his body as it's way too cold for him, but he would rather see Chanyeol's horrified expression than admit it.

Chanyeol hesitates before setting his foot in the water. Then he almost screeches. It's cold. Really fucking cold. And there's nothing worse than cold feet. "You piece of shit!" he manages to yell out amidst his screeches.

Baekhyun keeps laughing and then he adds fuel to the fire and starts splashing the salty water on the distressed Chanyeol.

Chanyeol is practically screaming at Baekhyun to stop, but he's also laughing, so Baekhyun will most certainly not stop. He'll splash water on him even more. His plans backfire him once he feels the cold drops on his chest. Chanyeol started kicking the water towards him and it flew right up his chest and below. He lets out an exaggerated gasp. Then he starts running away, deeper into the water. It takes a few clumsy and slow steps before the water even reaches his knees. 

Chanyeol is forced to run after him, this wouldn't be fun if he didn't. Even for a moment, he forgets that the water he's wading in is cold as all he can think about is how he needs to make Baekhyun regret his decision to ever prank him. He's almost caught up with Baekhyun when the latter starts speaking.

"This is for shoving my face in the sand," Baekhyun says under his breath when picking up wet sand under the water and quickly smearing it on Chanyeol's flat, bare chest.

Chanyeol looks at his own chest in shock. It's covered with who knows whose feces. Then he looks at Baekhyun with his mouth hung open. He crouches down to get some wet sand and he does the same to Baekhyun. Smears it on his chest. "This is for… Well, just to get back at you." He kind of forgets that this is supposed to be a playful banter when he gets totally lost in softly smearing the dirt on Baekhyun's nice pecs… He just keeps… Smearing it... On his perfect chest. Baekhyun doesn't even flinch.

"Wow, you're really trying to get those germs inside me, aren't you?" Baekhyun asks a little astonished by Chanyeol's dreamy gaze.

Chanyeol snaps out of it and stops. His face flushes immediately and he looks away. "I mean… Why else would I be rubbing your chest for like five minutes..?" he mumbles out loud with awkward laughter, mentally hitting himself.

Baekhyun smiles. He didn't actually mind Chanyeol's hand on his chest, but he can't really tell him to continue doing so… Because that would be extremely weird to say... He decides to grab Chanyeol's hand and he starts leading him deeper. "C'mon, I wanna swim!" It could become his new habit, leading Chanyeol everywhere. He does not dislike the idea.

The sand drops from their chests and makes a sound every time it hits the water. But this is left completely unnoticed by the two who keep walking with the stupidest grins on their faces. 90 percent of their interactions are just wide smiles at this point.

They walk for a while but the water does not get any deeper.

Chanyeol trips on a rock underwater and is about to fall down face first on the clear water. Baekhyun notices this and tries to catch him, but the water's mass around his feet is too strong. They both end up falling down on the water, Chanyeol on top of Baekhyun. Baekhyun is sitting on the ground with Chanyeol's body pressing against him. And the cold water surrounding them. For a moment they can only stare at each other in shock. They have never had this much skinship. Then Baekhyun breaks the ice by laughing awkwardly. "You're so clumsy."

Chanyeol wakes up from his thoughts. "Am not! How was I supposed to see that rock there?" He makes no effort to move, only enough to see Baekhyun's face a little better. Somehow the warmth of Baekhyun's body doesn't make the water seem so bad. But as he realizes that he's actually touching Baekhyun's bare chest and legs with his bare chest and legs he visibly panics. His heart starts beating so fast it might burst out of his chest any minute now. But he's too paralyzed to get up.

Baekhyun spaces out again when he sees Chanyeol's flustered face. His eyes will forever be something Baekhyun just can't get enough of, no matter how long he stared at them. "I… I just love how you have an excuse for everything. You should teach me one day."

The taller one huffs to hide how flustered he really is before mustering up the strength to get up. Baekhyun doesn't even bother. It did get a lot colder underwater without Chanyeol's weight on him.

"Aren't you going to get up?"

"What's the point, I'm already down here." Baekhyun makes a point.

"Well I mean, isn't that the whole idea of getting up? To… get up when you're down…"

Baekhyun turns around and starts swimming with his hands on the bottom of the ocean. He didn't realize it before but his heart is beating so fast. It has often beaten that fast, but not the same way. It isn't fear or anxiety that makes his heart throb this time - this is something else. Then he plops his head underwater for a second, long enough to make his hair wet. "You're right. But that's pointless, I want to swim." Mainly to cool himself and his thoughts down.

"That's not swimming, your hands are touching the ground. Speaking of your hands, how's your finger?"

Baekhyun shrugs. "It's alright. I almost forgot that it was supposed to hurt." He's already taken off his cast. He broke his finger two weeks ago, he should still be using the protection around it. "But c'mon! Join me!" And Chanyeol does, after a while of convincing that his finger is just fine and that the water is also just fine. Then he dares to dip his head in the water as well after whining about how he's going to freeze.

"Do you think it's possible to swim all across the Atlantic? And maybe head to Iceland or England?"

"Don't even think about it! There's one guy who's claimed to have done it but… The water is freezing and it's exhausting. Where would you sleep? And eat? Besides, it would take over 70 days!" Chanyeol gets so serious about it it's almost amusing. They just changed the subject from earlier, and will most likely never bring up the incident again. Even though Baekhyun knows it'll be all he's going to think about for the next whole week.

Baekhyun starts laughing again. "Relax! I can't even swim. Although, if that was my only way out, I would do it." He looks longingly into the distance.

The sudden change of his mood makes Chanyeol worried. He sits on his knees and the soft waves hit his chest. "Only way out? From what? You mean like, if it was your only option to be free?"

Baekhyun bites his tongue accidentally when he realizes that Chanyeol got what he meant. "I-I mean hypothetically! If it was my only option. But it isn't!" Not that Baekhyun was free even if he swam all across the Atlantic. There's no escaping from his fate.

"Yeah," Chanyeol sighs deeply, "I would probably do the same. Because if one can't live free, then can they live at all?"

Baekhyun makes eye contact with the latter and for the first time in decades, he feels understood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhhh more uwus your way hah  
but totally not my fave chaps because this had so much potential but noooo. you know, you can't make it every day and that's okay! also yes,,, it's currently 4:30 am and that could also be the reason... I still hope this is good enough for you, although all of u deserve the best and this is not;; but i hope you like where things are going, and the next chap will def be worth the wait!
> 
> Since I won't be updating until the fifth of January,   
HAPPY NEW YEAR ♥ may 2020 be the best for you yet, and I hope all positive and warm things your way ♥


	9. not a villain

Baekhyun is beaming. He can't text Chanyeol as often as last month, but every time they share a short conversation over the sweet bliss of technology on MySpace, he can't help but smile. The less they can text, the more eager he is to see Chanyeol every Friday.

That's why he's extra happy today. 

That is until he's about to leave the house. He smells the reeking flesh from the basement as his father comes up the stairs. Or maybe it's just the smell imprinted on him for spending so much time with all the rotting bodies who are still somehow alive. His father walks casually into the bathroom and judging by the sound of it, he's washing his hands.

Baekhyun thinks for a while if he should say something or just leave. But he's obligated to tell his father when he's leaving the house. He also has to tell him not to wait up. Not that it matters, there will be someone waiting for him when he gets home, anyway.

"Umm… Dad?" He walks into the bathroom, where he is, in fact, washing blood off his hands. Baekhyun gags at the sight.

"Oh, sorry, things got a little…" The father looks down on his hands and gets silent.

"Yeah. Like they always seem to do. I don't get it, Dad, what's so appealing in all of this?"

His father sighs deeply and dries his hands on the towel hanging from the wall. "Baekhyun, you know I have no choice. This is business. Without this business, we wouldn't have a roof over our heads, you wouldn't have your phone nor your precious car. It's all made from the money we've gotten for protecting several companies… Even if that meant breaking the law in some aspects…"

Baekhyun looks down with his furrowed brows. He knew that already. "But… But why did  _ you _ have to go down this path? We could have a whole bunch of money and a happy life even if you chose another career..."

Mr. Byun chuckles lightly. Then he walks past Baekhyun into the dining room. "It's not like I wanted a life like this. This is a curse, Baekhyun. A curse passed down from my parents. My father was a criminal mastermind, living under the streets of Seoul. He was so powerful that he even had the head of the government officials wrapped around his fingers," he speaks with such admiration in his voice when he's talking about Baekhyun's grandpa. He rarely talks about his father, nor has Baekhyun ever seen him. "But when he died when I was 23, I knew this business was going to be left into my hands. You don't exactly leave the mafia to do something else. You live as the mafia, and you die as the mafia. Or let's say you manage to escape, then you have to live with what you get, underground, hidden from everything. Because the rest of the mafia will haunt you to death."

Baekhyun starts sweating when his father says that so calmly. "A-are you saying that… That I have no way out of this?" He tries not to sound all shaken up. He knew he wasn't going to get away. But somehow it still stings when his father says it out loud.

"I'm afraid so, Baekhyun," he takes a sip of whiskey before continuing, "18 years ago when you were in my arms, I felt the happiest I ever have. Your mother looked beautiful as ever, and you were my new most important thing in this world. But as that happiness faded, I realized what kind of a monster I was for bringing you into this world. Because you will suffer the same fate as I have." He looks over at Baekhyun and sees how down he is, he's completely collapsed in on himself. How can someone look so down while standing up? "It's the harsh reality of all this. You have no way out. You can only accept your fate and-"

"No!" Baekhyun stops him from going on. "I know, I know, I'm doomed."

"That's not what I wanted to say-"

"I don't wanna hear it. I'm going out."

"When are you gonna be ho-"

"Late," Baekhyun answers before storming out the door. He can't listen to his father anymore. The more he talks the more Baekhyun wants to get out. Leave. Never come back.

He gets in his car and grips on the wheel so hard his knuckles turn white. His car, that was bought with blood money. It makes him feel disgusted and god knows if he could, he would trade all his material possessions for happiness and freedom. He tries to control his breathing but the words play in his mind like a broken record.  _ 'You will suffer the same fate as I have'. _

The same fate as his father, the same fate as his grandfather. Only Baekhyun doesn't want to. He doesn't want to be a criminal, have you ever seen a happy criminal? They don't get their happy endings. Instead, they get blood on their hands, guilt, nightmares, anxiety and in the end they get a little crazy before they die by the hands of their supposed loved ones. Those loved ones don't want a criminal in their lives. They don't need one, they'd be much better off without one.

Just like innocent, naive Chanyeol would never fall for a wreck of a criminal like Baekhyun.

That thought makes him hit the steering wheel. He's never felt more lost. With Chanyeol he feels like someone finally cares about him. But he knows it's all going to come crashing down once Chanyeol finds out who he really is.

He leans on the wheel and lets out a dry sob. Why does the thought of Chanyeol acknowledging him as some ominous monster make him feel so heartbroken, so out of place?

A sudden buzz from his phone wakes him up from his mourns. He stabilizes his breath and looks at his screen. There's a message from Chanyeol asking him if he's on his way to pick him up already. They're going to a drive-in movie.

He puts the phone in his pocket and tries to rub away the sadness in his eyes. When he has cooled down he drives a few blocks to get Chanyeol.

What kind of a monster would he be if he stood up Chanyeol? As long as Chanyeol doesn't know he's a criminal, then it's all going to be just fine.

Soon he can distinguish the driveway to Chanyeol's place. They don't live that far away from each other, but he won't tell that to Chanyeol.

And there he is, practically running out the door once he sees Baekhyun's car. He's so excited and full of life it makes Baekhyun smile. His sweet Chanyeol. Who has no idea that there's anything bad in this world. That there's anyone bad sitting next to him.

"Hi! Gosh, it's been like a week since we last really talked!"

"You have something new to report to me?" Baekhyun raises his other eyebrow. Chanyeol has his glasses on again and a cute yellow sweater. Again, his colorful choice of clothing makes him go crazy. In a good way.

Chanyeol pushes back those glasses and looks down. "Well… Not really. Whenever there's something funny or… Well, literally anything, I think 'wow, I so wanna tell Baek about this!' but then I forget it in the next few minutes. If I listed them down it would take us a whole day to go through, plus they make no sense afterward."

Baekhyun chuckles as he leaves the driveway. He loves the way Chanyeol can go on and on about something. "Wow. I'm honored. Seems like I'm really imprinted in your mind."

"Obviously you are. It's a shame we only meet on Fridays. And that we only have one computer that I can't use all the time to text you on MySpace."

"I wish I could just, give you all the money you need to text me 500 messages a day."

"Bribing me into talking to you?" Chanyeol raises his eyebrow playfully. 

Baekhyun turns to him with a raised brow as well as he winks. "I have my way around getting what I want."

After a few giggles, Chanyeol gets serious again. "But seriously. Don't ever let my parents know how rich you are. They'll start to suck up to you just so you could give them gifts or whatever."

Baekhyun leans back his head to rest it on the headrest. "At least they would like me."

"I'm sure they'll like you anyway… Or… Maybe you have to bribe them…" Chanyeol bites his lower lip as he turns away for a second. "Anyway, how's your week been?" He is so chatty. Most people find it annoying, but Baekhyun loves how he can just listen to his deep voice and forget about his own problems. The nagging voice inside his head that's screaming at him.  _ Stop living a lie, you're guilty! Driving this car like you didn't care! How many people have suffered for that 400,000 dollars this car cost?! _ All that tuned out and replaced with Chanyeol. What a blissful feeling.

"Pretty regular. Just been watching a lot of TV and helping out Dad. Been missing this one person a  _ lot _ ." He glances at Chanyeol and seeing him cross his arms all annoyed makes him somehow content.

"Really? ...Umm… Who?" He finally dares to ask. Baekhyun knew this was the thing he would focus on.

"Guess."

"That's dumb. I don't wanna."

"Fine, I'll give you a hint. I see him once a week. We rarely text anymore, and his name starts with a C."

Chanyeol furrows his brows as he's actually thinking hard about this. "Your therapist named Chandler? But why would you miss your therapist? Why would you text your therapist? Do you even have a therapist?"

Baekhyun can't help but laugh at Chanyeol's guess. "Why would I miss my therapist?" He tries not to crash the car while he's driving. "Okay, okay, let me make this easy for you. He's sitting next to me."

Chanyeol peaks over Baekhyun and everywhere in the car. Then it hits him. "Oh! You've missed me! I'm such an idiot- wait, you've missed me? Really?"

"Obviously. Who else would tell me I miss my therapist?"

"Oh, shut up," Chanyeol huffs. His cheeks are red again. He's missed Baekhyun too, he can tell from the way he talks.

"I will, but first, can you put on some music? There are still 30 miles to go." Baekhyun hands his phone to Chanyeol. The phone is connected to the speakers with a cable.

"Are you… Sure? Letting me look through your music library is like… opening your soul to me."

Baekhyun shrugs. "Then look into my soul. Go into my iTunes, I have a bunch of songs bought there."

Chanyeol looks at the iPhone in his hands and sighs. He can't toss it back to Baekhyun this time, but he tries to manage the touch screen. He finds the iTunes and is amazed by literally everything on the way. He finds the songs Baekhyun has in his library and there are dozens, if not hundreds of them. He scrolls past a few unknown bands when his eyes focus on something familiar. "No way! You have all the albums from Fall Out Boy! That's my favorite band!" he beams.

Baekhyun's chin drops. "Really?! That's my favorite band too!"

"We're so meant for each other!" Chanyeol blurts out. Baekhyun can only agree with him, but his heart picks up its pace. Chanyeol often blurts out stuff like that and most of the time Baekhyun doesn't know if he's serious or joking. "What's your favorite song from them?"

Baekhyun doesn't even have to think about his answer. "27. What's yours?"

"I love that song! But my fave is Dance, Dance."

"That's such a good song. Put it on!" And so Chanyeol does.

Baekhyun keeps drumming to the fast beat with his fingers onto the steering wheel and Chanyeol wiggles his body into the rhythm. Then the singing starts and neither of them hold back. Heck, they both know all the lyrics and love the song, why would they not sing along? Baekhyun puts the music a little bit louder as the chorus comes around and this only makes them sing louder.

_ Dance, dance, we're falling apart to half time, dance, dance, and these are the lives you love to lead… _

The sun is about to set and it gets darker with every passing sign on the road. It's a quiet summer night once they exit the city, but they wouldn't notice. Because inside Baekhyun's car it's anything but silent. It's practically a rave. The music is blasting and they can let go of themselves into the music. And with every song ending they look at each other and laugh. At that moment Baekhyun is not a villain, but only a regular Fall Out Boy fan with his friend.

*

Baekhyun parks the car in one of the slots far enough from the screen. "Not many people around. Either we are just early or people don't like Batman." He puts the car in accessory.

"Well, it is an old movie. Like… over 10 years old. Could be that this drive-in theatre's theme for this week is too old for people to enjoy."

"But it's Batman! The coolest of all superheroes!" Baekhyun thinks Batman is the coolest because he's the closest to a villain. Dark, mysterious, weird motives...

Chanyeol chuckles as he reaches out for something in his bag. "I brought us…" he enjoys the suspense before whipping out some skittles and marshmallows, "candy!" The skittles are rustling in the plastic back. "It's not a movie night without snacks!"

Baekhyun smiles so wide his cheeks start hurting. Chanyeol and his snacks make Baekhyun feel so warm inside. If he was standing he would have to watch out for fall damage. He snaps out of it and gets a blanket and two pillows from the backseat. "And I brought these."

A perfect movie night. It's even more perfect than the real movies because this one is in the comfort of Baekhyun's car. And they can snuggle up under the blanket. Sure there's a gearstick between them, but too much closeness would probably end up killing Baekhyun. So this is presumably for the best.

Baekhyun puts the radio on, picks up the signal that projects the sounds for this movie and they kick back, get comfortable with the pillows and blankets.

Chanyeol shivers under the blanket and this is not left unnoticed by Baekhyun. "Are you cold?"

"A little," Chanyeol smiles but tries not to make such a big deal out of it.

"Here, you can have my jacket. I'm literally so hot right now," Baekhyun offers and already takes off his denim jacket. He only has a white tee under it.

Chanyeol stares at his upper body and whispers to himself: "You really are…"

Baekhyun hums with his eyebrows raised as he didn't hear what Chanyeol said. Then he gives the jacket to the latter.

"Oh, nothing, thanks." He dodged a bullet right there. He puts the jacket under the blanket on him. He takes in a deep breath and Baekhyun can't but squint at Chanyeol's action. He's pretty sure he just sniffed the jacket and smiled. That has to be the cutest thing he's ever seen. His gaze averts back to the big screen when he hears the noises.

"Oh, it's starting, it's starting!" Baekhyun is so genuinely excited to see this old Batman & Robin movie. He could never act this way with anyone else. 

The movie goes on, a lot happens. They laugh, they smile, they wince, they cringe. It's a great movie.

About halfway into the movie, Baekhyun looks over at Chanyeol. The blue light reflecting from the large screen hits his face, lights it up beautifully. His brows are furrowed as he slowly puts one skittle in his mouth.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks, breaking the silence. It makes Chanyeol jump up a little.

"Oh… Just how… I don't know. I just don't like how these hero movies always have a horrible villain everyone hates. I mean sure, I don't like Poison Ivy either, but I feel bad for Mr. Freeze."

"Why? He's a bad guy. He's gonna destroy Gotham city."

"No, he's misunderstood and he's been through a lot. C'mon, the dude lost his wife because of some jerks, and now he just wants to get back at them."

Baekhyun doesn't know what to say. He stares at Chanyeol with his mouth slightly hung open.

Chanyeol continues: "I mean, I'd be okay with this if they didn't portray him as such an evil guy. He's just a lad who wants revenge on the people who killed his wife. Much like Batman, who just wants revenge on those who killed his parents."

"So… If Mr. Freeze isn't the bad guy, then who is?"

Chanyeol turns to him now. "Who isn't? Ultimately, I think all people are bad, and all people are good. No one should be labeled only one thing. We're all heroes of our own lives, maybe we're also the villains of someone else's life."

Baekhyun is yet again speechless. Chanyeol's wisdom seems to hit in all the right places. He leans in a little closer, subconsciously.

Then he goes on again, keeping eye contact with Baekhyun. "Much like you. You don't exactly seem like the hero everyone adores, sure, you're no superman. And even if you don't always make the right choices in the public eye and maybe beat someone up, you're still not a villain to me. You're funny, witty, considerate, brave, attentive, an amazing listener and most importantly, you have your reasons. Those are all heroic traits to me. Maybe to some douche like Bruce Wayne, you're not a hero, and there will always be people like him. But there will always be people like me, who think of you as a hero."

Baekhyun stares at his glimmering eyes behind his glasses alternatively. Then he looks at his lips. How are they so near, so tempting, so plump and so… Kissable? "No, Chanyeol. There will only be one of you, who thinks of me as a hero." He stares into his big brown eyes and smiles. Then he shifts his gaze down on his lips and leans closer. "There will only be one smart, happy, beautiful Chanyeol." He leans in a little closer, tilting a little on the right.

Chanyeol licks his lips and does the same, not thinking much.

_ "I hate to disappoint you but my rubber lips are immune to your charms." _

Just as they hear Robin's line, their lips touch softly. So softly and innocently, neither of them actually knows what to do, so it's just awkward lip-touching for a moment. Baekhyun shifts a little closer and starts leading the kiss somewhere. Chanyeol places his hands on Baekhyun's cheeks, slowly caressing them as their lips move together clumsily. Slow, steady, and just enough.

The noises of an action breaking out blasts from the radio, crashing, punching, breaking. And ultimately, that's exactly how Baekhyun feels inside. Something in him just clicked when Chanyeol said that to him he's no villain. He gently puts his hands on the back of Chanyeol's neck and pulls him even closer. As close as two people can get with a gearstick between them.

Then he pulls away, leaving Chanyeol a little drowsy, yearning to get back to his lips. Their foreheads are still touching and their hands are still on each other's cheeks for a while before they part.

"I…" Chanyeol tries to form the words but he can't think of anything. Instead, he touches his lips in disbelief.

Baekhyun takes Chanyeol's hands in his and fiddles with his words. "Chanyeol, I… I really like you."

Chanyeol smiles at him. "My lips are susceptible to your charms." They both giggle at his stupid pun. "I really like you too, if you haven't noticed."

Baekhyun dares to kiss him again, only this time for a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY SOME GOOD SMOOCHES. i gotta say this is probably my fave chapter so far. definitely. i hope you all like it ♥
> 
> i gotta say i've been extra emotional lately. exo has been so sappy and sentimental i've been crying with them the whole week. literally. i became an exo-l on the last day of 2014/the first day of 2015, so i've spent a good half a decade with my bois. it makes me really emo because i just love them so much, you know? I love how they've developed so much and so well ;; ♥♥ minseok, junmyeon, yixing, baekhyun, jongdae, chanyeol, kyungsoo, jongin and sehun. i miss them all so much, and i love them all so much. i'm so thankful, if it wasn't for them, i would have never gotten into writing and found my bestest of friends;; i'm so emo. i'll spend the next future decades being a fan, surely.
> 
> when did you join the fandom and how? 
> 
> anyways i really hope everything turns out well this year for all of us !! ♥ thank you i love you ♥♥


	10. not sane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning! will contain an animal's gruesome death so please don't come at me ;;

Baekhyun can't breathe properly in the basement. They're in the deepest part of the house, 3rd basement floor, which can only mean bad things. The dark concrete walls always make him feel uneasy, not to mention how claustrophobic he feels when he can almost hit his head on the ceiling, and how small the room is when he's there together with his father. It would not take much to suffocate someone here.

Mr. Byun hands Baekhyun a little golden retriever puppy. She wiggles her tail when being held by Baekhyun - she even tries to lick his face! She succeeds, licking his chin with her small tongue. Baekhyun can't stop grinning. She's the cutest little bean he's ever seen - after Chanyeol, of course.

"Isn't she adorable?" the father asks, holding his hands near his chest.

Baekhyun can barely even hear him anymore as he's too busy showering the new baby with love and affection. Just like Chanyeol. He has to stop thinking about him. "She is…" He beams but stops in his tracks to look at his father deep in the eyes. "Why is she here with us?"

"Well…" the father begins as he takes the puppy from his hands and puts her down on the ground. "I want you to kill it. Break its neck."

Baekhyun takes a step back as his face twists. "What the fuck?! I won't do that! You're a fucking psychopath!" The cute little puppy keeps running in a circle around Baekhyun. Such a cute little creature. So pure, innocent… Baekhyun can't kill her.

"Calm down, Baekhyun. It's just a dog."

Baekhyun's mouth hangs open. "Gee, thanks, that sure helped. I guess I'll just become a murderer next?" His words are dripping sarcasm. His chin is also itching like crazy all of a sudden.

The father glares at him and then looks away in thought. "If you don't kill it, then we'll just release it into the wilderness."

"Then let's just do that!"

"Why, Baekhyun? Because she's cute? Looks can be deceiving."

"Because she's done nothing wrong!"

"Are you sure?" He stays quiet for a while, letting Baekhyun take in what he just said. "Your chin is itching really bad, isn't it?"

Baekhyun looks down. "That doesn't have anything to do with her… Right..?"

The father looks at the dog and nods. "She licked your chin, didn't she? I'm afraid she's carrying a deadly disease. If you let her go, she'll infect other animals and soon we'll have an unknown zombie apocalypse. Do you want that?"

Baekhyun looks at the happy little puppy and crouches to look at her better. She looks too fine to be carrying any disease. She looks too fine to have poison on her either. She's so cute Baekhyun wants to cry.

"So? What are you waiting for? Snap. Its. Neck."

Baekhyun furrows his brows, looks at the puppy, then his father. Then he tries to grab the small little puppy in his hands but as she's in his arms, squirming, he can't do it. "No. Can't you do it? Why me? Can we just inject her with something?"

The father gets down on his level. "Either you do it, or we let the zombie apocalypse become a reality."

"Fine! I don't care, I'd rather see the whole world burn down and I'll become a brain-eating zombie, which, I guess I'll become anyway because she licked me!" He gets up, flailing his arms in the air.

Mr. Byun gets horribly cold as he gets up with the dog in his hands. His brows are furrowed and mouth pressed to a thin line. Then he holds the puppy by her body and neck, twists it without even glancing at her. Baekhyun can only watch in horror. Her last whines sounded so painful, but Mr. Byun's facial expression stayed the same as she dropped the empty shell of a puppy on the ground.

Baekhyun is trying to breathe in but he can't but get a little shaky. His father truly is a heartless man.

"You're decreasing in your progress, Baekhyun. One day you'll be in my spot and you can't always make room for your emotions, no matter how cute the dog, cat, or even the person is. You just have to use your brain." He's trying to give a lecture to Baekhyun but the latter just can't take his eyes off the dead puppy. How could she have been something carrying a horrible disease? And if so, why isn't Baekhyun dead yet? "Besides, if you had a brain, not just your too-big heart, you would've figured out that the dog had peanut butter on her tongue, to which you are highly allergic to."

Baekhyun darts his eyes on his father. He touches his face in shock. "W-what?" he asks with a voice so quiet it's barely audible.

"She was not carrying a deadly disease, just peanuts."

Baekhyun wants to faint. He's seen many deaths but somehow this one hits him the hardest. Because of his own stupidity, she's dead. And all the guys Baekhyun has seen get killed were bad guys, it's either them or Baekhyun. He can easily rely on self-defense. But he can't blame anyone for this. No one but himself. The air in his lungs escapes and no, it's not coming back. It could be his last breath, he'd be fine with that.

His father also notices this. "Baekhyun, it's just a dog." He tries to pat him on the shoulder, but the touch makes Baekhyun explode all of the sadness and irritation in him.

Baekhyun pushes his hand away and starts yelling. "And you killed her! Why? To prove your fucking point?! This is so fucking sick!"

"You've seen many people die before. Why is this dog the one that affects you the most?"

"Because she was innocent! She couldn't have possibly fought back! Besides, you lied to me! Can't I trust anyone's word here?!" His legs feel weak so he sits down on the dirty floor, next to the dead puppy. It really is dead.

His father crouches next to him. "Baekhyun… Do you think she was the only innocent being who was killed by your foolish actions?"

"Wh-what do you mean?" He bats the tears away like a kid who just had a tantrum.

"Remember Jiseon?" The name carries so many memories with it, Baekhyun shudders.

"Yeah… My best friend from when we were like… 7… What about her?"

"Well, that friendship was a mistake from the beginning, and I wish we could've stopped it sooner. Yet, we didn't, and were once again reminded that children can't keep secrets. So, of course, you told her everything about our little family. We… Had to get rid of her. And her parents."

"You… what?!" He's heard too much already. His head is spinning, he can't make sense of any of this. "But I… Didn't even know about your businesses back then."

"You still knew too much. Thanks to you, your best friend is dead. Has been for… Eleven years now."

"Stop it." He shuts his eyes as if to make it all go away. He's lying. It can't be true. All this time he's been left wondering how she is doing, across the ocean but… She's most likely been under the ocean for 11 years...

"Yes, it was a shame. Her parents were really great, too."

Baekhyun feels guilty. How many deaths has his stupidity cost? How many will it cost? If only he could keep Chanyeol out of this… He needs to be smarter. About everything. "What do you want from me..?"

"What?"

"What do you want me to do? How can I be less stupid?" He pleads to know the answers. He'll have to get smarter, even if that meant following his father's cruel commands and dismissing his inner thoughts.

"Stupid? No… For a mafia's son, though, very." He pats Baekhyun's cheek lightly, not giving him an answer, but confirming his son's doubts about his intelligence. "As of what I want you to do… Hmm… I'll come up with an answer later. I think we need to make a change here, now that we see you aren't progressing."

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. He always has to think about his answers first. Maybe Baekhyun should, too. All he's caused lately is concern and trouble.

Suddenly someone bursts through the door. "Master! We've found traces of Jiae-" he slaps his hand on his mouth to shut himself up when he sees Baekhyun. Mr. Byun glares at the errand boy so fiercely he immediately lowers his gaze. "I'm sorry."

"Wait… Jiae? Traces of mom?!" Baekhyun looks up to see his father looking at a wall with a blank expression.

"This is none of your concern, Baekhyun. And Jongin..." He walks up to the boy and grits through his teeth. "I told you not to mention it when Baekhyun is around." Then he goes up the stairs.

"But Dad!" Baekhyun tries, though he knows he won't get an answer. He's the master of ignorance. Baekhyun turns to the gofer with a bitchy expression on his face.

The gofer quickly bows and apologizes, but doesn't leave. He's not allowed to until Baekhyun leaves or he gives him permission.

"Who are you?" He eyes the boy up and down. He has smooth bronze-colored skin and pouty lips.

"I-I'm Jongin, your new errand boy."

"New?"

"Well, yeah, I was sold here." He has a soft voice when he speaks. Baekhyun winces. Most people sold to his father are to pay their debt. And it bothers him beyond no end that people sell their children. Jongin seems like he's been shipped here all the way from South Korea, too young to be up in their business.

"How old are you?"

"I'm 15, Sir."

Baekhyun chuckles and looks away. He's still sitting on the ground. "Please don't call me that. Just say Baekhyun."

"I-I'm afraid I can't do that, sir."

Baekhyun furrows his brows. Then it hits him. His father will chop off his head from the next mistake. And that is referring to either Baekhyun or his father with their real names. It's a very loose rule, everyone calls them their real names, except for the newbies. He looks at this shy teenager and feels horrible. Just like his best friend from 11 years ago, just like that dog next to him, Jongin will probably die from Baekhyun's foolish actions as well.

"I see you feel bad for the dog. If it makes you feel any better, she had a tumor the size of her brain. She would have died painfully and slowly if it wasn't for… this."

Baekhyun does feel a little better because of that. He smiles at Jongin. There's no one he can trust in this world, but he sure wants to believe Jongin.

***

"You're such a psychopath!" Chanyeol yells at his cousin, Junmyeon. "You can't mix coke and sprite together so carelessly!"

"Watch me," Junmyeon says as he pours more sprite into his half a cup of coke.

They're at Chanyeol's place, their kitchen, while their mothers are talking in the living room. Chanyeol holds his head in his hands and muffles a scream. "Why are we related?"

"Because my mom has the same mother and father as your mom." Then he sips his lemon and lime coke and watches Chanyeol have a mental breakdown.

"You don't say?" He says back with an unimpressed look. He sits down on one of the chairs around the table.

Junmyeon acts like Chanyeol's little brother, even though he's only 6 months younger than him. They're almost always together and Junmyeon's presence really annoys Chanyeol sometimes. Like right now. And every day. It's like he wants to see Chanyeol suffer.

Chanyeol whips out his phone to see a new message from Baekhyun. It makes him smile instantly, but it drops as soon as Junmyeon snatches his phone from his hands. "Hey! Stop being a prick and give it back!"

Junmyeon ignores him and reads the message out loud. "Can we talk?" Junmyeon says out loud and can't but grin a little. Then he looks at Chanyeol. Chanyeol's face is firing up and soon he gets up to snatch it back. But Junmyeon is not that easy. He continues to read more of the messages even louder. "I miss you."

"Oh my God! Jun! Stop!" He's even more embarrassed because his mother could hear. Chanyeol gets his phone back with full force. Great. He accidentally sent Baekhyun a message saying ptd*.   
"Who's that? Your girlfriend or something?" Chanyeol has disguised Baekhyun's contact as BB. Which sounds a lot like Baby. Now that he thinks about it, it's not a very good disguise.

"No!"

"Oh, right, my bad. I almost forgot you're gay. Is he your boyfriend or something?"

Chanyeol's face flushes and he looks away. "No!" Not yet, at least. Besides, he's told Junmyeon like, once, that he's into guys, since he kept bugging him about it. And he's scared his mother will hear him if he keeps screaming like that.

"Wait… Is it that guy I saw you with at school? That… I don't know his name but he looks like a fuckboy."

Chanyeol avoids eye contact as he quietly whispers with a red face, "No…" Then he starts walking to his room. Junmyeon, of course, follows him there. "Besides, he's not a fuckboy."

"How would you know? Unless… You  _ want _ him to be your boyfriend!"

The older didn't think it was possible to get even redder in this situation. He quickly turned around to shush his cousin, baffled because he's pretty sure his mother heard. He wants to hit Junmyeon so hard he'll lose all of his brain cells. This is one of the many reasons he doesn't always like being around Junmyeon. "If I were you, I'd keep my nose in my own business. Like the fact that you're bullying a bully! Are you gonna continue doing that for the rest of high school?"

Junmyeon grins victoriously as he invites himself in Chanyeol's room and plops on his bed. "I love getting back at that douche. It's about time someone stood up against him."

Chanyeol sits down on his chair and stares at his ferret. "You aren't wrong… But still. What do you gain from this?" 

"Pleasure. So much pleasure."

Chanyeol stares at him with his mouth wide open. "He's literally a sophomore. Wait, he's not even a sophomore yet. He's a year below you."

"And I think it's really fucking weird that a freshman picked on sophomores and juniors and sometimes even seniors."

"You're oddly enthusiastic about this. Like waiting for Fallout New Vegas."

"I am not. Well, maybe a tiny bit, but definitely not as much as Fallout New Vegas."

"Admit it, you're enjoying this too much."

"You're wrong. I care about nothing." He looks up at the ceiling and crosses his hands on his stomach. Chanyeol just stares at him for a moment to figure out what to say.

"If you didn't care then you would've never said anything back to him."

At last, peace and quiet. It's the first time Chanyeol could make Junmyeon shut up. He wants to celebrate but that would break the silence. Now he can check in on Baekhyun. He types a simple message back.  _ 'Sorry, my cousin is over. Is something wrong?' _

But he doesn't get a reply from Baekhyun. He doesn't get anything from him, and it's starting to make him worried.

Junmyeon turns to him with a smug expression. "And that's how little I care about you."

Chanyeol rolls his eyes. Finally when he thought he got Junmyeon quiet. "You're sick."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (i just know there are people who are okay with people dying but then they're like C'MON NOT THE FUCKING DOG, i'm sorry)
> 
> anyways! i introduced Jun here, and if you are interested, there is a backstory to Jun's bitchiness, and even to the bully's! my brother No_Bark wrote a spin-off of this called If I Had..., it's seho! please give it a read and show it lots of love!!! i personally love it, if you don't know my brother is an incredibly good writer like REALLY REALLY gooood and "If I Had..." is probably one of my favorites so PLEASE READ IT ALSDFJH (it's a multi-chaptered just like this one and he'll update once a week like I do uwu)
> 
> [**If I Had...**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22216033) (2220 words) by [**No_Bark**](https://archiveofourown.org/users/No_Bark)  
Chapters: 1/?  
Fandom: [EXO (Band)](https://archiveofourown.org/tags/EXO%20\(Band\))  
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences  
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings  
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun  
Characters: Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Oh Sehun  
Additional Tags: Drama, Comfort/Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort  
Summary:  
A Sad Fuck and an Edgelord.
> 
> also it would mean the world to me if you commented!! haha i'm so sorry anyways i'm so so so thankful to you all!!! thank you ! ♥
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KYUNGSOO I MISS HIM SOOO MUCHHHHHH


	11. unspoken closeness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise update! Hah! It's my birthday, so I wanted to make an update. How else would I celebrate my 18th birthday? ;) Enjoyyy ♥♥♥

It's Friday and Chanyeol is all alone in his big house, wondering where his crush is and what he's doing… Chanyeol doesn't really know what to call Baekhyun. Are they dating? They've never talked about it. They've kissed once and they always send really sweet messages to each other on MySpace. They act like boyfriends already, but are they? Chanyeol should ask him.

If only he had the courage. He's scared of screwing things up, just like he usually does with people.

He's in the kitchen, watching as the lamp hanging from the ceiling rocks a little from side to side. He shudders as he realizes that that's not how gravity works. He has no idea what's causing it to swing like that.

Then images of zombies flash in his mind and make him even more paranoid. …So this is why his mother didn't let him watch horror.

"Calm down, Chanyeol, you're only imagining things," he tries to tell himself and takes in a deep breath.

A sudden knock on the door makes him startled. He doesn't think twice about it before opening the door, even though it could be a zombie. But he's pretty sure they don't knock so politely. And there stands his crush, almost-boyfriend, staring up at him with a blank expression, not blinking even once. Chanyeol's heart always picks up its pace when seeing Baekhyun, especially if the meeting is unexpected. Although he does look a bit like a zombie.

His eyes are tired and a little red. Chanyeol wants to comment on that, ask  _ who ate your brain?  _ But it doesn't look like he would appreciate that joke right now. The only things that are missing from his gloomy mood are the darkness and rain.

"Baek? Are you… Okay?" Chanyeol's eyebrows signal worry for him. But Baekhyun doesn't reply anything as he invites himself in and before he can even take off his shoes, he wraps his arms around Chanyeol. Resting his head in the crook of his neck and taking in a deep breath.

The sudden closeness makes Chanyeol bat his eyelashes in shock, but he wraps his own arms around Baekhyun as well, slowly rubbing his back. He can feel Baekhyun's breathing on his neck and it tickles a little, but he tries to stay put.

"Now I am."

His heart melts at that instant. Baekhyun's strong arms wrapped around his waist makes him feel some type of way, so warm and fuzzy. Who knew hands that can cause so much pain on someone else could feel so protective and safe around him?

"But seriously, Baek, what's wrong?" Chanyeol pushes Baekhyun's shoulders a little and it feels like ripping off a bandaid. They separate just enough so Chanyeol can look at Baekhyun in the eyes and demand for answers with his gaze. "You didn't reply to my messages, any of them! You know how worried I was?" Even though it was for, like, four hours. But it's Friday and they still hadn't made up plans to meet, he thought Baekhyun was ghosting him or something. It sounds ridiculous now that he thinks about it.

Baekhyun still has his arms on Chanyeol's lower back. He looks at Chanyeol's beautiful, worried eyes alternatively. "You were worried about me?" His voice is quiet as he speaks.

"Of course I was! I care about you. No matter what I do, I'm always thinking about you. Wondering where you are, what you're doing, and God, I hope you're always okay."

Baekhyun smiles faintly and slides his hand up his back before lifting it up to caress his cheek softly with his thumb, the touch makes Chanyeol shiver a little, but not enough for Baekhyun to notice. "What would I do without you, Yeol?" Chanyeol blushes as Baekhyun keeps staring at him like he was the most beautiful piece of art he has ever seen. If he said that out loud, Chanyeol would be nothing but a wet stain on the carpet as he would have melted.

"You didn't answer my first question."

He looks down and rests his hand on Chanyeol's shoulder. The pained expression on Baekhyun makes the younger one frown, he wonders what goes on in his mind, now and whenever he gets gloomy like this. If it's just a bad day, then why won't he just tell him? "I… I'm just scared, Chanyeol."

"Of what?"

"Me hurting you." He looks up to his eyes and something in Chanyeol just breaks.

"Why are you scared of that? It doesn't at least sound like you're planning to murder me…"

Baekhyun chuckles lightly but then gets serious again, avoiding his eyes. "Because you're not the first one I've cared about who's gotten hurt through my actions. Everything I touch just breaks. If not by my own hands, then at least my enemies' hands. God knows I keep hoarding them like plastic bags." Chanyeol is not sure who are these enemies Baekhyun always keeps talking about, but he's too scared to ask.

"I'm not made of glass, Baek. I don't break that easily. And if we're talking about stupid actions, technically, I just got hurt because you ignored my messages and you got me worried, so you've already failed. But that's just life. As long as you don't purposely hurt me for fun, then we can always talk things through. Besides, I'm not a baby, I can protect myself."

Baekhyun starts caressing his cheek again with a smile. "But you are a baby."

Chanyeol rolls his eyes out of habit but he can't stop smiling. Every time Baekhyun says something remotely flattering, Chanyeol can't comprehend. But there's a nagging voice in his head that says Baekhyun keeps avoiding the real issues at hand.

"Can I take a nap in your bed? Preferably with you."

Chanyeol forgets every doubt in his mind and nods. "Of course." So they separate from each other's arms and Baekhyun leaves his shoes and jacket by the door before they walk up the stairs to Chanyeol's room.

Chanyeol's bed isn't made, he wasn't expecting anyone to take a nap on his bed today. The blanket is tossed to the foot side of the bed messily, but Baekhyun doesn't seem to mind. He falls on the bed and takes a pillow under his head. Chanyeol climbs next to him and does the same.

The way Baekhyun is staring into his eyes makes his heartbeat quick, and his face heats up  _ again _ . Somehow laying in bed next to him, not saying a word, feels like the best thing in the whole wide world. The world doesn't seem as big and lonely when they're together.

"Why are you smiling?" It's contagious, Chanyeol notices.

Baekhyun pulls himself closer to him and rests his hand on Yeol's waist, not breaking off eye contact. The other hand is under the pillow. "Not sure. Can your big brain explain to me why I feel so good when I'm with you?"

"This is actually a fun fact," Chanyeol beams, barely managing to stay put when explaining such interesting trivia. You could think he's ruining the mood, but Baekhyun only seems to enjoy it. "When two people are fond of each other and engage in affectionate behavior such as hugging or kissing, it causes a chemical reaction in their brains that releases a hormone called oxytocin in their bloodstreams. Oxytocin helps people bond, it's what's causing us to feel attached to each other. It helps alleviate stress, fear, and anxiety. A natural painkiller, if you will."

Baekhyun's eyes are fully closed, Chanyeol's voice serving as background noise from that moment on. Chanyeol smiles at his peaceful face, only inches away from his. "Don't stop talking," Baekhyun whispers after a while of silence. "It helps me sleep."

"Okay. Well, other than serving as a natural painkiller and helping form trust, oxytocin helps groups bond together. I think that's why most families are close, they live together and there's oxytocin thrown around… And that makes a home feel special." Chanyeol stops when he sees how deeply Baekhyun is breathing, he's fallen asleep. He must have been really tired. He takes in a deep breath as well, calming down at the sight of his peaceful face. "That's why I don't think home is necessarily a house or even has anything to do with blood relatives. My home could be here with you, I don't know."

He shuts himself up and closes his eyes as well. It's warm and cozy, slowly he falls asleep.

** 

After an hour or so, Baekhyun wakes up. He's a little groggy, but his head doesn't hurt like always after a nap. Chanyeol is still next to him in that same position. Baekhyun just wants to squeeze the life out of him. Not literally. But still, he wants to hug him for the rest of his life, never let go.

He's dying to get some water though. He looks around himself and the only source of water is Beets' tank, and he's not  _ that _ desperate. He's debating whether or not he should wake up Chanyeol. Then he hits himself mentally. It's not like he needs Chanyeol to get downstairs for a glass of water.

He gets up slowly, not to wake up Chanyeol in his peaceful sleep. He forgot his glasses on and his face is all squished up. He prints the image deep in his mind not to forget this precious look. Then he leaves his room to get downstairs. Just as he's stepping off the stairs he notices that he's not alone.

"Oh, Hello! Are you perhaps Baekhyun?" Chanyeol's mother says with a bright smile. Baekhyun curses in his head. It's too late to run now. He's already been seen. He tries to smile as well.

"Hi, yeah, I am," he can barely say out loud. His mouth is so dry he'll probably die. He just wanted a glass of water, not small talk with Chanyeol's parents.

"We've heard so much about you! I'm Youngmi, Chanyeol's mother, and this is Sungjin, Chanyeol's father." She points to the man sitting in front of the table. He eyes Baekhyun from head to toes, but rather than that he seems kind. After a while, he greets Baekhyun as well with a faint smile. Was he being evaluated by Chanyeol's father?

"What kind of stuff? Should I be worried?" He doesn't dare to move from the door frame. He'd rather die from thirst than take a step closer to them. They already know too much about him.

"Good things only! Don't worry."

Baekhyun still worries, even more now. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone his real name, now at least three people know, and probably more. He's going to die. If not by his father's hands, then someone else's who knows too much. Like those junkies…

"Is something wrong? You look like you saw a ghost," Sungjin asks. Baekhyun shakes his head and snaps out of it. If he's going to die, at least it was worth it for the small amount of time he got to know Chanyeol.

"Everything's alright." He looks to his left to see Chanyeol practically dragging himself downstairs.

Chanyeol yawns loudly. "Baek? Who are you ta-," he walks into the kitchen and jumps up a little, smiling uncomfortably. "Mom! Dad! You're… home…" His mother shoots him a look.

"A word, Chanyeol?" She forces a smile and practically drags Chanyeol from his ear into another room. 

Baekhyun raises his eyebrows. It's not hard to guess why she's angry. He's left alone with Sungjin. He looks kind, but Baekhyun is not really known to have good relationships with dads. He awkwardly searches for a cup and fills it with water. All the while the father keeps his eyes on him. Baekhyun leans his lower back on the sink and stares back him.

"What are your intentions with my son?" he asks like in those Korean dramas Baekhyun watches. That was kind of sudden.

"My intentions? What do you mean?"

The father looks at the table and bites his lower lip. "Our Chanyeollie doesn't usually hang out with people like you…"

"People… Like me?" Baekhyun points to himself.

"Well… You know… You have a fancy car, and you have that lip ring and earrings… It's just…"

Baekhyun squints his eyes and keeps looking at him. He is starting to get impatient with this man. If this was in his basement they'd have already beaten him up until he got to the point. He blinks a few times to snap out of it. They're not in his basement. This is Chanyeol's father. "So..?"

"It's just…" Why can't he just get to the point already? "I work as a jailkeeper. I see people like you in jail all the time."

"You got all that from just my looks? Looks can be deceiving." He already sounds like his own father. But who is he to blame this man, when in fact Baekhyun should be locked behind bars. He is a criminal after all. Good thing the piercings make it even more obvious. Maybe he should stop wearing them, he wonders. But they look so good on him... 

"I'm just cautious. I trust you'll treat my son right and won't let me down."

Baekhyun smiles and nods. That's what he wants as well. Too bad that's not something he trusts himself to do.

"I'm sorry, I haven't interrogated anyone like this since Yura started dating…" the father adds, taking a sip of his drink. Baekhyun chokes on his water.

"Is…" he coughs a few times to get the water out of his lungs. "Is that what you think? That we're… a couple?"

"Well… Aren't you?" He stares at Baekhyun with demanding eyes. With that look, he realizes just how much Chanyeol looks like him.

Baekhyun's mouth hangs open. He can't say anything. He doesn't know. Technically, they already act like boyfriends, but are they? Then the thought of calling Chanyeol his  _ boyfriend _ really hits him.  _ Hey, this is my boyfriend Chanyeol _ . As if he had anyone to introduce him to, but he wants to imagine a scenario where he could proudly tell people about his boyfriend. He could do all the things they do now but even more, without it being even remotely weird. He can't stop smiling like an idiot. Maybe he would finally get what he's always dreamed of. Somebody to love. Somebody to love him.

Sungjin looks away with a sheepish smile. "Well, boyfriends or not, he really cares about you. And judging by your face, you care about him too."

Baekhyun stops smiling and coughs one more time. What is he supposed to answer to that? Chanyeol's dad is so patient, so trusting and kind. Baekhyun can't be but envious. His own father would shake his head, say something along the lines:  _ Are you out of your mind, Baekhyun? Are you stupid? You could never care about someone at such a young age! You absolute buffoon! Risking our whole business! Do you know what this means? _ But no matter what his father said, Baekhyun wouldn't change his mind about Chanyeol, and that makes him feel powerful. His father might be controlling, but at least he can't control who he loves. Or can he?

_ "Mom! Your rules suck! It's so unfair!"  _ They hear Chanyeol yell from the parents' room. Baekhyun furrows his brows. He knows all about unfair rules.

Sungjin smiles sadly and leaves Baekhyun alone in the kitchen to join the two arguing in the other room. As he joins them, Chanyeol gets out. His brows are knit together and his fists are clenched. He's practically fuming.

"I'm so goddamn annoyed at mom!" he clears out when storming towards Baekhyun as if it wasn't obvious.

"What did she say?" Baekhyun asks fully aware that they were fighting because of him.

"She… Well…" Turns out Chanyeol is really similar to his father when talking about sensitive things. "Well, she doesn't trust you. Nor am I allowed to have people over while they're away. It's a stupid rule that they took into use once Yura started dating."

"I don't blame her, I wouldn't trust myself either." And he doesn't. "I've heard so much about your sister but I've never seen her…"

"She's in college, living that dream life without our controlling parents." He crosses his arms and huffs.

Baekhyun nods and decides to wrap his arm around Chanyeol's waist and pulls him close. "I wish I could help, but we can't really escape anywhere since my dad is worse."

Chanyeol calms down a little and smiles to Baekhyun. "You're wrong. We have your car. Let's just make a home there."

Baekhyun smiles back at him and squeezes him a little bit closer. Any amount of closeness will never be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg we're halfway through aaaaaaaaaaaaa
> 
> Also I just wanted to add here that I’m super duper happy for Jongdae on his marriage and the blessing 💘 he’s gonna be such a great dad huhuu💗 I’m so unbelievably proud and happy 🧡


	12. not winners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you didn't miss my surprise update last Wednesday!! hehe  
I've been really active haven't I.

The carnival is in town again during this time of Summer. The sun is setting and that's just when the fun starts. It's dark, but the lights on every ride light up the whole place. Everywhere you look, there are people laughing, being amused, eating candy and generally just having fun. Kids, but mostly teenagers and adults, since it's getting a bit late. It's the perfect place in town to date - and that's exactly where Baekhyun took Chanyeol.

There aren't many rides, but there sure are a lot of stalls to waste your money on, all aligned in almost perfect symmetrical lines. Baekhyun is planning on placing all he got just to make Chanyeol happy and remember this night. Even if that meant winning him every prize from every game, he'll do it. But not yet, and he doesn't want to get Chanyeol's hopes up, most of the games are rigged, anyway.

"Wow! I've never been to a carnival before!" Chanyeol's mouth hangs open as he sees all the fun games and rides and the amount of sugar on sale.

Baekhyun looks at him and starts smiling. The light makes Chanyeol's eyes sparkle behind his round glasses, and Baekhyun is sure the warm yellow lights flatter him even more than the blue light from their movie night. "Me neither." His excitement is contagious.

Chanyeol's smile gets even bigger as he turns to Baekhyun. "This is so much fun!" They've barely moved from the entrance.

Baekhyun takes his hand in his and starts leading him forward into the area. He squeezes his hand firmly - he won't let go in a million years. Especially in a crowded area like this. He knows all the dangers he could encounter here - all he has to do is stay on top of things. Stay in the know of everything.

But it's all so hard when Chanyeol is being the cutest bean there is, pointing at everything and commenting on them. How anyone can be that excited about colorful wrapping paper is beyond Baekhyun.

"Baek! Look! That's the cutest elephant I've ever seen!" He points with his free hand to a pastel yellow, about 15 inches tall stuffed elephant. Baekhyun squints his eyes at it. That's it. That's the thing he will get for Chanyeol, no matter how much money or time it cost.

"How will we get it?"

Chanyeol bites his lower lip in thought and it makes Baekhyun die inside a little. He wants to bite Chanyeol's lower lip. He shakes away the thought. He could, it's well established that they like each other that way, it's just that they haven't kissed or talked about it after the drive-in movie, so he doesn't know if it is what Chanyeol wants as well.

"I guess it's a shooting game. We should try it!"

Baekhyun pulls him close by his arm and smiles. "Not yet. We don't want to carry it around for the rest of the night."

"Aren't you a little too confident? Those games are complete rip-offs." Chanyeol looks a little worried, but Baekhyun shakes his head.

"I have my ways."

"Okay. Then let's go play that game!" Chanyeol points to the booth next to them.

"That's not a game, they sell cotton candies and popcorn there."

"And I'll definitely feel like a winner if I get my hands on that sugar." He pulls Baekhyun with him to the booth. But how could Baekhyun ever say no, when Chanyeol seems so happy when watching the worker roll a cane in the cotton candy bowl, like collecting spider web with a stick. The resemblance makes Baekhyun wanna skip this one.

The young girl making the cotton candies smiles at them as Baekhyun pays for Chanyeol's candy. Then he's a happy kid, pulling out pieces from it with his fingers and putting them in his mouth. They start walking along the booths, side by side. They can't hold hands anymore since Chanyeol seems to be more in love with the cotton candy, giving all his attention to it. Baekhyun is a little jealous. Even though that's stupid, why would anyone be jealous of a piece of candy?

Chanyeol glances at him and his pouty look. "You want some?" he asks and puts the candy under Baekhyun's nose.

Baekhyun shakes his head. "I'm not a big fan of anything that sweet," he exclaims. "With the exception that is you."

Chanyeol blushes and can't help but smile. He takes a piece of his cotton candy and shoves it in Baekhyun's mouth. "Shut up."

Baekhyun smiles even wider. He presses the cotton candy against the top of his mouth so it melts faster. It feels and tastes just like a bunch of sugar scraping the roof of his mouth. "Wow. I haven't had anything this sweet since we kissed."

Chanyeol tries to hold in his laughter. "Can you stop with the cheesy lines?"

"Nope."

He pouts back to Baekhyun but gets distracted by a loud noise. Chanyeol's attention span is that of a puppy's, Baekhyun notices. He keeps looking around and he can't focus on one thing at a time. Maybe there's just too much stimulation in this area. "You should try that!" He points to a stand that reads 'test your strength'.

Baekhyun raises his eyebrows. "You wanna see me humiliate myself?"

"Oh, c'mon! Well, maybe a little. But that's not the point! Now let's go!"

Baekhyun is easily pushed to the stand, paying for a round. He's given three shots to swing the sledgehammer so hard on the pedestal that the small little ball inside a tube hits the bell on the top. Baekhyun takes the heavy sledgehammer and feels it in his arms. The rusty stale seems all too familiar. It reminds him of the days a few years back when his dad made him hit the floor with a sledgehammer whenever he was angry. It was a weird tactic, but it did help during his massive fits of rage when he was around 14.

He adjusts his position, legs spread apart and knees bent slightly. He puts the hammer over his back and is ready to swing it with full force. He glances over to see Chanyeol smiling at him, adoring eyes on him. Then he looks at the target again and uses all his strength to swing the hammer on the pedestal.

Ding ding ding, he got it to the maximum level. "Congratulations! You can now pick one of these plushies," the booth keeper says and points to the row of animal plushies on display. He picks the furry fox one, it's about the size of his hand. It seems like those dents on the basement floor finally paid off.

Chanyeol rushes over to him and grabs him by his shoulder with his free hand. "Oh my God, I'm a little terrified, how the fuck did you do that?"

"What, so you really wanted to see me humiliate myself? Don't you see these?" Baekhyun chuckles, showing off his biceps. No one can see them through his jacket but they all know they are there. Obviously. Chanyeol knows it far too well.

"Well, I don't believe any of these stalls here are honest..." He looks over to the side where a few girls are sighing dreamily while looking at Baekhyun. It makes Chanyeol frown.

He pulls himself closer to Baekhyun while squinting his eyes at the girls. "Back off, he's mine!" They all sigh in disappointment and scatter around.

Baekhyun wraps his arms around Yeol's waist and smiles. He doesn't even care who's been staring at him. If it's not Chanyeol, he doesn't care. Then he rubs the little, fuzzy fox in Chanyeol's face to bring his attention back to him.

" _ He's mine _ ?" Baekhyun recites with a wide smile. This makes Chanyeol blush and look down.

"I-I mean… Not literally, 'cos you're a living human being who deserves to be free and therefore cannot be owned…"

"You just had to establish it to those girls over there?"

"...Yes."

Baekhyun can't stop smiling. He looks up to make eye contact with Chanyeol, and it feels like there's this magnetic thing that's pulling them together. The warmth of his body is so calming, there's nothing in this world that would make him more relaxed than having Chanyeol in his arms. Relaxed, but at the same time, his heart is beating like crazy. It's the weirdest combination.

"Hey, can you move? You're in my way," a grumpy looking man interrupts their magical moment. They are right in front of the entrance to the strength game. Baekhyun struggles to let go of Chanyeol but he does, eventually. Chanyeol apologizes frantically for the both of them. Then they start walking away.

Baekhyun grabs Chanyeol's hand once again, his fingers feel a little sticky from eating all the cotton candy. He's still holding the leftovers with his other hand.

"Sorry," Chanyeol notices it and quickly wipes his fingers on his jeans. Then he intertwines their fingers again.

Baekhyun looks at his jeans and wonders how Chanyeol can just wipe the stickiness on his clothes and not think twice about it. It looks fun.

The evening is turning into night while they walk around and forget about the world around them. They skip all the rides because let's be real, no one can handle that much spinning. Also, it meant that they would have to stop holding hands. And they don't want to do that. So, more candy, more talking, laughing and smiling at each other.

Chanyeol finishes his hot dog and proceeds to tell his story. Baekhyun asked him what's the worst thing anyone has ever done to him. "Well, when I was in middle school, I had a friend who I thought was really cool, he came from a wealthy family, unlike me, and he had so many friends, I thought it was weird that he wanted to be friends with someone like me, who was an outcast..." They're leaning on a tall table outside in the soft lights of the carnival. They block out all the people and noises in the area, only focusing on each other.

Baekhyun leans on his arm and stares at Chanyeol, reserved. "I don't like where this is going. But go on."

"No, no, he was actually really nice… For a while at least. Anyway, so we were very different. But also we had a lot in common. He liked Pokémon, I liked Pokémon… Nothing else really mattered."

"When did he start using and manipulating you?" This story is making Baekhyun irrationally angry. If only he had a weapon and that person right in front of him.

"About a few months into our friendship. I didn't realize it at first, because I admired him. Then I went to his place because we had planned a sleepover, and inside there were his other friends I didn't know were coming. The whole time I was there they kept teasing me and calling me names and I just had to tolerate it, because I was this guy's 'friend'. He even went with the teasing. So basically I just tolerated a bunch of bullying for the rest of middle school and I couldn't even tell anyone because of the stupid teachers who thought that that's just what friends do."

Baekhyun clenches his teeth and squints his eyes. He's not sure if he wants to squeeze Chanyeol or murder everyone. "I'm no expert in this field, but I don't think friends are supposed to give you emotional trauma."

Chanyeol chuckles and looks at the table. "It's fine. I had my sis to help me through it and she convinced me to leave those shitheads behind." He puts his hand on top of Baekhyun's and smiles. "And now I have you."

Baekhyun smiles back to him. "But still, if you want revenge, just drop the names and I'm on it."

"Intriguing, but I'd rather move on than risk getting you in danger. As much as I hate them… It's been a while."

Baekhyun nods slowly. Moving on. What a concept. "Hey, let's go." He pulls Chanyeol with him away from the dining place, squeezing his arm once again.

"W-where?" Chanyeol looks around as if he was getting kidnapped.

"To get that elephant."

"You mean the yellow one?"

"Yeah. I'll get you that damn plushie even if it's the last thing I do." It won't make up for anything he's gone through, but there's something in Baekhyun that hopes it would fix everything. It would at least make Chanyeol happy, and that's all Baekhyun wants.

They get to the game booth in no time, they weren't so far away. It's still open and the worker starts smiling as he sees the new customers. "Welcome! Dare to try the Ghost Hunting and perhaps win the grand prize?"

Baekhyun pays the guy who has a sly smirk on his face. Chanyeol tries first. He has to shoot the three moving ghosts down with the toy gun. The ghosts are quite fast and far away. Baekhyun's palms are sweating for no particular reason. He just wants Chanyeol to win the prize.

He hits the first one down. The second one he misses. The third one is down. His whole body tenses up in anticipation. Fourth one he misses. It all comes down to the last chance. The last ghost to knock down.

And he shoots, but the plastic bullet bounces off of the ghost, not knocking it down.

"Sorry, folks, but you missed the last one."

"What kind of bullshit is this? I saw it hit the ghost," Baekhyun immediately barges in and complains loudly. Chanyeol pouts at his loss.

"But did it fall down? No. So no prize for you," he has a grin on his face, like he knew it was impossible to win in this game.

"It's fine, Baek, let's just-"

"No." Baekhyun is fuming. He pays for another round and takes the gun in his hands. "We'll see if it was just bad luck." He tries to shoot the ghosts, steadying his hands. Shooting is no big deal for him. But the first one he shoots is the one Chanyeol didn't manage to knock down. And would you look at that, it stays up, even after two tries. Baekhyun gets an idea.

"Wow. So fucking rigged," Chanyeol exclaims with his hands crossed. He's disappointed, of course. He really wanted the elephant.

Baekhyun hears the sadness in his tone and decides to execute his plan. He 'accidentally' shoots at the upper corner of the game, making it fall down. That wasn't exactly his plan, but it caught the worker's attention. While he's fussing about the broken game, Baekhyun snatches the elephant hanging from the side.

"Baek, what are you-," Chanyeol tries to ask but Baekhyun shushes him by grabbing his hand.

"Run!" he starts leading Chanyeol away from the scene. He has the elephant wrapped around his other hand and Chanyeol attached to his other. He's not sure if anyone is after them, but he's not taking any risks. They run past a lot of people, most ignore them, but some look at them weirdly.

Baekhyun runs around the corner and sees a photo booth. Perfect. He makes Chanyeol go inside first and then he closes the curtain behind himself. The photo booth is quite dark and small, they can barely even fit in it together.

Chanyeol pants heavily, trying to catch his breath. "Okay, that… Was so cool."

Baekhyun chuckles but he's having a hard time breathing as well. "Guess that guy won't be robbing anyone else anymore." He holds the plushie in front of Chanyeol. He can barely see it in the dark. Then he puts it down on the seat designed to be sat on during the photos.

Adrenaline rushing through his body, Baekhyun presses Chanyeol against the wall of the booth. He can feel Chanyeol's rapid heartbeat pulsing through his veins everywhere in his body. Chanyeol bites his lower lip and that's the final straw for Baekhyun. He looks up into his beautiful eyes behind the round frames. His black hair that almost falls on his eyes, but not quite. His straight nose and soft cheeks. And finally, his full lips that he's been craving for the whole night and ever since they kissed the first time.

He leans in to kiss him, oh how he's yearned for these sweet strawberry-flavored lips. Chanyeol giggles against his lips and responds, but stops to mumble something against his lips before pushing him away. Baekhyun looks confused. "Wait. Not in front of him." Chanyeol points to the pastel yellow elephant next to them. Baekhyun flips it over so that it faces the wall. 

"Thanks." Chanyeol places his palms on the back of Baekhyun's neck and leans down to plant a kiss on his smiling lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take a shot every time I say "big beautiful eyes behind round glasses" in this fic I dare you. ,dlsjfhbf anywaysss hope you like it uwu these two are rly falling in loveeee


	13. not crazy

**chapter 13** : not crazy

Chanyeol takes a few steps outside the house to catch some fresh air. He's supposed to meet Baekhyun today. But he's been awfully quiet again. His replies have been short if he's even bothered to reply. Chanyeol knows it's a silly thought, but he can't help but wonder if he's done something wrong. Maybe Baekhyun is mad at him for some reason. Maybe he doesn't find Chanyeol appealing anymore.

What if Baekhyun doesn't like him anymore?

He keeps kicking some rocks on the ground and his hands are in his pockets. He goes through all the possible things why Baekhyun has been so distant.

He tries to shake away the thoughts and decides to walk to the park they're supposed to meet at. It's not far away, it's the park where they met the first time outside school or work.

And now that he thinks about it, Baekhyun was acting strange back then. It seemed like he was extremely paranoid. Chanyeol shrugged it off then, but now it all just seems to pile up. He knows he needs to confront Baekhyun about this.

He sits on the swing and it squeaks under his weight like always. It's completely silent, there can only be heard the swing and the calming breeze on this very hot summer day. Cars are honking somewhere in the distance and something is making the grass rustle. Not all that silent if you pay attention to the little sounds.

As Chanyeol is focusing on the sun that's burning the back of his head, Baekhyun finally shows up. He has a wide smile on his face when walking towards Chanyeol.

"Hi," the taller one says when noticing his almost-boyfriend. He doesn't straighten his back this time.

Baekhyun waves back and sits on the other swing. He can't take his eyes off Chanyeol, like always.

This does make Chanyeol smile a little bit, but then he notices the huge bruise on his cheek. His smile washes out completely as his face molds into worry. "What is that? How did you get that bruise?"

Baekhyun pushes the swing a bit with his feet. His smile drops as well. "It's nothing. Just… Boxing stuff. It's a dangerous sport."

"But… You told me that you'll be on summer break..." Chanyeol whispers. He's not supposed to be boxing right now. At least not against someone who can bruise up his cheek.

"Anyway, how's your week been?" Baekhyun moves the attention on him. It works every time.

Chanyeol furrows his brows. "Not the best. My best friend keeps lying to me and changing the subject every time I ask something personal."

"What? Okay, yeah, very funny, Yeol."

"Well, it wasn't supposed to be." He crosses his arms.

"Are you… Calling me a liar?"

"I don't know. Are you? We both know that bruise didn't come from boxing. Baek, please, tell me, what are you hiding from me?"

"Nothing!" He tries to sound convincing, but he's visibly uncomfortable. "You know me, I'm just…"

Chanyeol frowns. "I'm not so sure I do, Baek. I know nothing about you, to be frank. You never talk about your family, I don't know where you live, I know nothing about your background. I can't believe I've trusted a complete stranger..."

"That's not true!" Baekhyun tries to defend himself but he raises his voice a little too high. "You know more about me than anyone else!"

"But you won't tell me why you show up with huge wounds from time to time. One time you broke your finger, that you also said was because of boxing. Then you try to run away from dangers that don't even exist. Sometimes I feel like if you disappeared, no one would even notice and then I'd be left wondering if you ever even existed in the first place."

"It's just a safety protocol…" Baekhyun looks down at his feet and mumbles.

Chanyeol sighs. "What so dangerous are you hiding from me?" Baekhyun stays quiet, so Chanyeol turns a little more empathic. "Just tell me, Baek, I'll help you."

"I can't tell you, otherwise you'll leave me."

"I won't. But if you keep lying to me, then I will, eventually. I don't wanna live in a fantasy where you're perfect. I wanna know all that is you, all of your imperfections as well." Chanyeol gives Baekhyun space to answer, but when he realizes that he's not going to, he gets up. He has set a limit to Baekhyun's dishonesty. "Well, come see me when you're ready to talk." He starts walking away, as much as it hurts.

He doesn’t understand why Baekhyun is so secretive. It makes Chanyeol feel like a complete idiot, how easily he’s trusted someone who could keep stringing him along his evil plans. How he’s willing to trust Baekhyun but how the latter won’t trust him in return. It makes him irritated, his blood boil and his thoughts a complete mess. Maybe it's because he likes Baekhyun so much. Maybe he just wants Baekhyun all for himself and he's worried that it's not the same as what he wants. He'll just cling onto him and in reality, Baekhyun wants to get away from him. That thought, his scariest, deepest insecurity, makes him wince.

"Wait! Chanyeol!" Baekhyun gets up but Chanyeol doesn't even spare a glance at him. He doesn't even reply, he just keeps walking while his thoughts run around, leading back to the one behind him.

"Yeol!" He grabs Chanyeol by his arm and makes him turn around. He looks at the taller one with pleading eyes. Chanyeol is torn. He wants to forgive Baekhyun right then and there, but he has to stay strong, otherwise, this will happen again.

"I… I can't tell you." He looks around as if someone was watching him. Chanyeol's brows knit together.

"And why not?"

"Because I'm scared!"

"Of what?!" He didn't mean to sound that demanding and his heart aches when he sees how devastated Baekhyun looks. His lower lip starts quivering. He squeezes Chanyeol's arm harder, slowly breaking in front of him.

"I'm afraid of everything, Yeol! I'm afraid of dying, living, all that comes with it. I'm afraid of losing my fucking mind!" His breath hitches. "And most of all, I'm afraid of seeing you get hurt, or even losing you because, with you, I feel at least a little safer," his voice gets quieter the more he speaks.

"Why?" Chanyeol gets closer to him. He feels horrible. He was so angry at Baekhyun, but hearing him so genuinely care about him makes him conflicted. "Why are you afraid of losing your mind?"

"Because I think that's what is going to happen someday in the future, but I don't wanna be crazy."

"You are not crazy, Baek."

"You don't know that. Just like you said, you don't know me that well. No one does. The reason I keep things from you is because the less you know, the less I have to remember about my own life. With you, I can at least pretend everything's okay, pretend I'm just a normal guy. But then I always have to get back home and I'm greeted by my fucking insane father."

"Pretending that everything's fine won't get rid of your problems…" Who is Chanyeol to preach about that, when he's been ignoring the fact that Baekhyun keeps lying to him since the beginning? "How is your father... insane?" Chanyeol squints his eyes.

Baekhyun takes distance. "He's... very manipulative. And overprotective. If he knew about you, we'd already be moving out of town and cutting off all ties with you! Or… Worse..."

Chanyeol walks closer to him, trying to make him come back to reality. "Are you saying that your father doesn't even know about me? Is that why you're always so paranoid?"

Baekhyun nods but then turns around again, avoiding Chanyeol's eyes. "...You think I'm paranoid? The next step is inevitably a lunatic, right?"

"No. A lunatic is a derogatory term used for someone suffering from a mental illness. To be honest, you don't sound mentally stable, either. But that doesn't make you crazy. Or lunatic. It just means you need professional help."

He shakes his head. "No, I can't. My father won't let me."

"Why not? He can't be that heartless."

"Oh, he is. He doesn't have feelings, that's a fact."

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol calls out to him to make him snap out of it. Then he takes him in his embrace and pats his back slowly. "It's okay, calm down."

Baekhyun presses his forehead on Chanyeol's shoulder and hits his stomach lightly. "It's not okay. Either I go crazy or become my father. There's no way out." His voice breaks at the last sentence. There is no way out. Chanyeol has heard that before, he's sure of it. He's confused and he can't wrap his head around Baekhyun's thoughts, he can't imagine what he's dealing with. Or why he's dealing with these things.

"You won't become your father. I know. Because you're not incapable of feelings. As a matter of fact, I'd say you're one of the people who… feel too much. And I love that about you. Nor do you really have to get out, maybe you just… Have to get in."

Baekhyun raises his gaze to look at Chanyeol in the eyes, his breathing has gotten almost normal by now. He snorts. "What does that even mean?" Seeing this change of mood brings a smile on Chanyeol's face as well. He's more than willing to push away his doubts and thoughts if he could just live in the lies that Baekhyun is honest and cares about him. As long as he can be with him.

"I'm not entirely sure. Maybe you will find out?" He raises his eyebrows but Baekhyun still seems suspicious. He shrugs it off and embraces Chanyeol.

They stay in that position for a few minutes in silence, hugging each other. Chanyeol did get Baekhyun to open up even just a tiny bit. There is still something bugging him, though. The hug is warm, but he feels as if Baekhyun didn't tell him everything. Maybe he'll reveal everything later.

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun breaks the silence with his quiet sob. He sniffles once.

"Are you… Crying?" Chanyeol whispers into the hug.

"I'm just… I thought I could keep you safe if I kept you in the dark. Turns out it was just a selfish act for not wanting to remind myself of the other life I lead."

"It's okay. Live and learn, right?" As long as Baekhyun is happy and cares about him.

"I'll make it up to you. Ask me anything, I'll answer honestly."

Chanyeol doesn’t let his nurturing smile drop as he pushes him away slightly, enough to look him in the eyes and dry his tears. He leans down just a little to initiate that he wants to kiss him, but he ends up biting his lip nervously and looking away. "I want to know everything about you. The good and the bad. I'll endure it all, when will you trust my word on that?"

"Why do you trust me after all the lies I've told? And why can't I trust you, after all you've endured for me? I want to, I truly do. Why can't I?"

Chanyeol frowns in sympathy and puts his hand on Baekhyun's. Baekhyun looks so beautiful even though his eyes are teary. His small lips that curve downwards just like his eyes. When he stares at his facial features he almost forgets that he shouldn't trust him so blindly. "Because you're taught not to trust people. Even after all the hard times I've gone through, after all the people that have walked over me, I still trust blindly. Neither of us is perfect when it comes to trust."

"But I can't let you close. Once I do, you need to reassure me about everything. And that's annoying."

"I'll never get tired of it. Baek, I like you, I want you to know how much you mean to me already. No matter how much reassurance you need. I don't hate you, I like you, you aren't crazy, you do deserve me, I want to reassure you over and over and over again, until you finally believe me." And in return, he wants the same thing.

Baekhyun's lower lip quivers and his eyes are brimming with tears before he breaks down in tears again. Tears so genuine and honest. Chanyeol can feel how much Baekhyun tries to trust him.

"It's okay to cry. I might not know all of your past or your present, but I assume you haven't had anyone to really care about you for years now, right?"

Baekhyun looks down on his chest and nods, letting a few tears slide. "I'll never deserve you. But I will never let you go either. Will you be able to endure that?"

"There's only one aspect of your life I know, and it's your future. I know I'm going to be a part of it."

"Do you promise?"

"If you promise to tell me everything."

Baekhyun nods again, and Chanyeol really wants to believe that he will, he really doesn't want to wake up one day and realize that Baekhyun is still lying about everything. So he decides to do exactly that, it's a risk he's willing to take, a risk he's taken many times, yet he never learns from it. "Is there anything you want to know now?"

Chanyeol wipes his tears away once again as his breathing gets regular again. "Actually there… Umm… There are a lot of things I've just assumed about you, but correct me if I'm wrong." He starts, and Baekhyun nods as a sign for him to go on. Baekhyun presses himself close to Chanyeol but doesn't break the eye contact. "You're an only child and live with your father but… Who else? You live somewhere far away in the middle of the woods, probably in a really big old mansion and your dad keeps you hostage like in a prison. And I wouldn't be surprised if you turned out to be vampires now."

Baekhyun chuckles and hugs Chanyeol's tiny waist. "I am an only child, and I do live with my dad. But there's also like a million servants and guards and what not. But no, I live just a few blocks from you."

"You do?!"

"Yeah, I just love the comfort of my car too much to walk. And about the vampire thing…" He gets closer to Chanyeol, keeping his head high and glancing at his neck from time to time. "I'd love to bite your neck."

Chanyeol purses his lips to a thin line and gets visibly tense. But not scared, more excited than anything. There's just something about biting that makes him so excited, he just can't tell Baekhyun to go ahead, bite me.

"But I'm not a vicious blood-sucker, I just wanna bite your neck for other reasons."

Chanyeol tries not to laugh. "You're so weird. Just a few minutes ago you were crying and had a mental breakdown but now you're telling jokes again."

"It's not a joke. I'm not a vampire, yet I wanna mark your beautiful tender skin beneath your jawline. But even more than that, I wanna kiss you. I don't think that would be my main priority if I were a vampire."

Shivers run down Chanyeol's spine. But he has decided to stay strong. "Not before you tell me your whole past."

Baekhyun sighs deeply. "Fine. I moved to the States when I was 11, First we lived in Texas, then in New York and now in High School I moved here, Concord. Before we moved here we lived in South Korea but then my mom left us and we had to go." He tried to give a quick recap of his past, but Chanyeol won't let him go that easy.

"Have you ever had friends here in the States?"

"Huh… Not really. I have my personal bodyguard, he's the closest thing to a friend I've had ever. I had one friend when I was 7, but…" Chanyeol can see how grim Baekhyun gets, that's probably a wound he doesn't want to open yet. He won't pressure him into telling all the details of his life. Not yet. That wouldn't be fair of him.

"Hah. I'm… I'm your first," Chanyeol says with a hint of red on his cheeks. "You're my first too."

"First what?"

"Your… First kiss, first… everything. You're going to do everything with me." He has a cute smile on his lips, soon mirrored on Baekhyun's lips as well.

"I hope you're going to be my last everything, too."

They know it's stupid, they know they haven't known for that long, but the connection between them is so real, how could they not fall for each other and fast?

"Do I now get my kiss?"

Chanyeol doesn't even remember what he was supposed to be worried about. Baekhyun obviously cares about him and there's nothing he's hiding from him, just things he hasn't revealed yet. Right?

He nods with a bright smile. "You don't even have to ask."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhhh chanyeol poor baby. what happens when baekhyun reveals his true colors?  
this chapter wasn't that well written, I'm sorry. my english went blep  
have a blessed week ♥♥


	14. not four-eyed

"Baekhyun," Mr. Byun starts, standing at the door to his son's room. Baekhyun avoids his eyes like he has learned to do. He wasn't afraid of his father. Not until he met Chanyeol. All of a sudden the secrets are too big to hide if he even glances at him.

"Yeah?" Baekhyun is lying on his bed and he's playing with his phone. He's on MySpace, rereading all the messages Chanyeol has sent him and smiling to himself. His smile dropped immediately when his father walked in, of course.

"I feel like we've grown distant. What do you say we spend some quality time today? Just… You and me."

Baekhyun tries to maintain a neutral look on his face, but it's rather hard. How do you politely decline such a nice offer from your not so nice father? "Uhm… Like… Do what?"

"Oh, I don't know, we could go somewhere. Anywhere you want."

Baekhyun raises his other eyebrow and lifts his head up to see his father standing there, inspecting his room with his eyes. "Anywhere? You're joking. We've never left the house together."

"And what would be so bad about it?"

"Everything? Like you've said, multiple times, the outside world is dangerous. Maybe someone will try to kill us. Maybe they haven't made the connection yet that I'm your son. Now they will. What if someone from school sees me with you, then they'll know you're my father. We'd be walking targets out there in the open."

The father chuckles, walks into the room and sits on the edge of Baekhyun's bed. Baekhyun pulls up his legs to create more distance between them. "Oh, Baekhyun, you silly little boy. Of course, we will face danger. But you know who danger has to face first?"

"I dunno…" Baekhyun knits his brows together. It seems like the stupidest idea to him. He doesn't want to be in danger for the rest of his life for hanging out with a mafia boss out in the open.

"Our bodyguards, of course. Do you think I would ever leave this place without proper protection? Who do you think I am? Besides, I would never do anything to set you in danger."

"Really? So you keep my back protected as well?"

"Always." He pats Baekhyun's knee gently. It feels weird. In some weird twisted way, Baekhyun can almost believe that his father loves him. Almost, if he didn't know better. "Oh, hey, what if we go to that McDonald's you said you went to. I assume you never got to eat there."

Baekhyun can't keep a straight face anymore. His eyes widen and breathing gets quicker. He tries to control his facial expressions, but it's not easy. It's hard to lie to his father, even if he's done so many times. "N-no, I'm good. I don't think I'm that hungry."

"What's the matter? You look upset. Was the cashier that cute or why are you stuttering?"

"What?" He tries his best to seem disgusted by the thought. "No!" The cashier was actually really cute that day. And he still is.

"Then let's go!" Mr. Byun already gets up, slamming his hands on his thighs. Baekhyun is too shocked to say anything to make this not happen.

Shit. He knows Chanyeol is working there right now. Chanyeol doesn't use his phone at work, he can't warn him beforehand. "Wait!" He runs after his father who's almost left the house already. He turns around with questioning eyes. "I… I have to change first."

The father sighs and nods to Baekhyun to allow him to change his clothes. Baekhyun shuts the door to his room and that's when the panic rolls over him.  _ Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck. _

His father is going to see Chanyeol. He's going to see Baekhyun's little Chanyeol. And if Chanyeol doesn't realize it's his father, he could easily bust the two. To him, it probably isn't such a big deal, but to Baekhyun… Oh, it would mean the end of the world.

But Chanyeol should understand, right? Baekhyun breathes in and out slowly a few times before changing into new clothes.

**

The car ride was pretty silent. The father tried to make conversation, but Baekhyun was quite not in the mood for that. His mind is occupied by the doom that awaits.

The father opens the door to the small McDonald's and immediately starts making these weird noises, looking around as if this was the most fascinating building he ever walked in.

Baekhyun can't be embarrassed about that right now. He has bigger things on his plate. Like the fact that it's Chanyeol behind the counter right now. He has that red apron on that looks super cute on him. He's also wearing a T-shirt under it. Baekhyun knows Chanyeol hates the way his work clothes look on him, how tall and lanky he looks. But Baekhyun thinks he looks perfect.

He's walking behind his dad as Chanyeol finally notices them and starts smiling widely as he looks at Baekhyun. But then he realizes that he's with a man that looks exactly like him. He does have smaller eyes and his jaw is wider, overall he looks manlier. Chanyeol quickly pieces it together. He glances at Baekhyun with worry in his eyes. Baekhyun tries to signal the message to him before he can open his mouth. He's flailing his arms around behind his father, mouthing the words  _ "Act along." _

Chanyeol stands idly behind the counter, helpless because he wanted to greet Baekhyun like he always does, enthusiastically and not giving a fuck about anyone else. But he gets that maybe this is one of those situations where acting as if they didn't know each other would be best.

"Oh, look, it's a four-eyed cashier," the father comments and points with his finger to Chanyeol. Chanyeol knits his eyebrows together. Wearing glasses today probably wasn't the best idea.

Baekhyun hides his annoyment but he does tell his dad to quit it. He's being rude.

"Hi! Welcome to McDonald's. What would you two like?" Chanyeol fakes a perfect smile, the kind that lowkey says 'fuck you'. Baekhyun looks down. If only there was a way to make it go away faster.

"Wow, you look too young to be working here. Don't your parents make enough money to support you financially?" the father continues, speaking like this wasn't a normal human being he was talking to, but rather an object. Chanyeol's smile drops a little.

Baekhyun glares at his father and changes to Korean. "Dad, if you don't stop being rude, I will walk out." Then he looks at Chanyeol with a smile and gives their orders.

"But just look at those fangs, I didn't know they take Halloween so seriously." It's still August. Baekhyun glares at him harder.

"I will kill you." Just as those words leave his mouth, his father turns to him and smiles. It's like he wanted Baekhyun to get mad. It's like he knew.

"Cash or card?" Chanyeol's voice has gotten quieter and he doesn't want to look at the old man again. It breaks Baekhyun's heart. It's one thing to hurt him, but God if his father ever hurts Chanyeol again, he will have to defend him.

"Go pick a table, I got this," Baekhyun assures and his father leaves. Just as he turns his back on them, Baekhyun leans over the counter and starts whispering. "Oh my fucking God, are you okay? I'm so sorry, my dad's an asshole." He looks at Chanyeol with worry in his eyes.

"It's okay…" Chanyeol mutters. He took a big hit to his confidence. "But are you sure he doesn't know about us? Or does he always talk like this to everyone?"

"I don't know. I don't think he knows… He's an asshole, I've told you that." He whips out a few dollars to pay for their meals. "But hey," he looks behind his back to see his father not looking at them. "You look beautiful."

Chanyeol's cheeks turn red and he smiles back to him. Then Baekhyun leaves to go sit in the same booth as his father, just next to the window. His father keeps looking out into the cloudy weather, the almost empty parking lot… The only cars are his bodyguards' cars, watching over the whole area.

"Do you know that boy?" he asks as Baekhyun sits down opposite him. He speaks in Korean so that no one around them understands.

"Who? The cashier? No. He's in my bio class, but I mean not really." He avoids looking at his father, whose stare is piercing holes into his soul. He's gotten pretty used to lying, and some things are easier to hide than other things. He does the same with the principal every time he gets in trouble.

"Huh. He looked familiar. Like I knew his sibling or something."

"Doubt it."

"Maybe I'm just imagining things," the father wonders out loud but Baekhyun didn't even hear him. He has his eyes on Chanyeol who sometimes peeks from the kitchen just to catch Baekhyun looking at him.

Baekhyun tries his hardest not to smile at him because his father would notice. And the things he could do if he knew about them.

"It's sad we can never do this anymore."

"Well, it's your fault."

"Yeah… You, your mother… It hurts me to know that the two of you would have been better off without me…"

Baekhyun suddenly feels guilty for blaming his father for something he's not actually in control of. "Dad… What… What happened to her?"

The father looks out again, sighing deeply. Baekhyun is expecting an answer he most probably won't receive. So he waits in silence, irritated as time goes by.

"Don't you think I'm old enough to know? Dammit, Dad, I can barely even remember her anymore."

He stays quiet again for a while but opens his mouth to speak eventually. "Hmm. Maybe you are old enough... It's all because of me. Because of this."

"So, what happened?"

"Something I knew would happen. She left. Without a word, gone, gone like the wind."

"Because… She wanted to?" Baekhyun is sad now. He had always hoped that it wasn't true, that she didn't leave them by her own choice.

The father nods. "Most likely. And she went far, there are no traces of her in this world anymore. The ones that there are, are just whiffs, almost always a false alarm. This lifestyle was never meant for her, we weren't meant to be Bonnie and Clyde."

"Then why did you put her in this situation?"

"Because I loved her so much. I didn't want to imagine my life without her."

Baekhyun glances over at Chanyeol again. How badly Chanyeol deserves a normal life, a life without him. "Then why are you still looking for her if she's already made up her mind?"

"I just need to make sure she's okay…" He's silent again for a while. "You know, you're a lot like her."

"How?"

"You hate me just as much as she hated me."

Baekhyun has no recollection of his parents ever fighting. To his kid self, they were a happy family. Until they moved here. "What do you mean hated you?"

"She didn't want this life. And no matter how much I loved her, resentment was all I got from her. You are the same. The more you fight against it, the more you remind me of her."

Baekhyun mumbles something under his breath. "Well sorry, I'm not a psychopath."

"That's exactly what she told me once. But the older I've gotten, the more I've realized that love is nothing but an illusion. Why have something that in the end will only hurt you, since love is not permanent, it will fade away."

Baekhyun tries to open his mouth to protest, but nothing comes out. Then Chanyeol brings them their food. He looks at both of them but smiles at Baekhyun only. "Enjoy your meal."

"Thanks," Baekhyun says and smiles back. When he looks into Chanyeol's eyes, he can't but think that everything his dad said was a bunch of bullshit. Chanyeol doesn't even have to do anything, but Baekhyun feels that this is going to be permanent. And no matter how much he tried to hide his feelings, it's obvious, everyone could see their chemistry.

And that means that he, too, knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Byun is not really as scary as I initially intended him to be... or does that make him even scarier? Hmmmmmmm


	15. don't go near him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah sorry i was busy the whole weekend and super tired but here's the chappy!!!

"Don't forget, Chanyeol, study hard this year."

"Yeah, this year is important."

"You'll be applying to colleges…"

"So make this year count!"

Chanyeol's parents keep saying, but he's not so sure if they're actually talking to him or each other.

"Yeah, yeah, always…" He mumbles out of habit while munching on some cereal. Today is the first day of school. For this semester, anyway. He's finally a senior. That means he only has to deal with his parents for one more year and he's off to college. If that's what he actually wants.

"I feel like you're not taking this seriously, Chanyeol. This year determines your whole future."

Chanyeol looks up to see his mother have the most disappointed look on her face. "You're wrong. My future is more than my academic training."

"Well..."

"It is! I'm not really sure if I even wanna go to college." He spins the spoon in his bowl awkwardly.

His parents gasp audibly. "What?! What do you mean you don't want to go to college?!" The father is barely even in this conversation, he just gasps a few times and lets his wife do the talking.

"I said  _ if! _ Obviously I'll go because I want nothing more than to get the fuck outta here."

His mother grunts angrily, but Chanyeol doesn't even flinch. "Do you take our love for granted? You say that now, but you'll come crawling back when you realize that life isn't as easy as you thought."

"I'm so tired of you ruling my goddamn life! Leave me alone!" He blurts out and runs upstairs.

"Chanyeol!" The mother tries to call after him, but it's no use. She gives up.

Chanyeol huffs and crosses his arms once he gets to his room. Toby is sleeping and Beets is swimming in his tank. Usually looking at Beets swimming makes him feel relaxed, but right now he's so irritated he just wants to strangle somebody.

"She's so annoying! It's my life! Why would I live my life the way she wants me to?!" He's walking in a circle and talking to himself. He's been doing this for the past 17 years of his life, just do what his mother says. He's tired of it. He wants to be himself. It's rather hard to do when he's not completely sure who he actually is.

He stops in front of the mirror and tries to psych himself up. He's wearing a blue sweater and black ripped jeans, his favorites. He's also bothered to put contact lenses, he doesn't want to be made fun of because of his looks. He doesn't want to be the four-eyed weird Asian kid.

All his life he's been able to fit into this role he knows his mother approves of but is that actually who he is? What if he just embraced being a four-eyed weird Asian kid? Maybe that Shaun guy would leave him alone… Confidence is key, they say.

He should get going or he's going to be late. At least he'll get to see Baekhyun a little more often now that school starts. The thought of seeing Baekhyun today makes him a little less irritated and a lot more excited to go back to school. He blows a kiss for his pets before grabbing his backpack and leaving.

**

Chanyeol walks down the halls and keeps his head low, he doesn't want people to notice him. He feels himself shake nervously as he passes a few groups of friends, people who he went to the same middle school with. People who look down on him, they never say anything, but he just knows they think badly of him. He's the outcast, the weird nerd who talks too much and clings onto you if you show any kind of attention to him. It's a miracle Baekhyun doesn't mind these things about him. He's tried his best to be more chill, and he is until he gets excited.

He bites his lip and takes faster steps to get to his classroom, not once looking up from his feet. He's almost there. Nevermind the sweating and trembling, he can make it. He's confident, he has Baekhyun now, he's not a pathetic loser anymore, and the other students probably don't think of him as one anymore, right?

"Fucking faggot!"

And so, Chanyeol's remaining bit of confidence, crumbled to pieces just like that. He looks down and keeps his arms crossed, he wants to keep walking, but his legs stop taking him anywhere. It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't alone. He wouldn't be such prey to that group of friends he hates. He knows who they are even without raising his head. They're sophomores who act like they're better than everyone else. Actually the rest seem fine, but it's Shaun who's the root of his problems, the one who keeps bullying him and so many others. But especially him. He has some real issues and quite frankly, Chanyeol has fantasized about strangling him a few times. Last year was pretty horrible because of him. And it's just so stupid, a freshman picking on a junior. Now he's a sophomore picking on a senior.

Junmyeon is right, it's about time someone stands up to his bullshit. And it's the weirdest thing. Shaun is the one who looks like a fucking faggot. He's tall, athletic, skinny, and probably one of the prettiest boys Chanyeol has seen. But nobody picks on him, because he's a basketball player and will chew you out if you open your mouth. The only one who ever says something back to him is Junmyeon. Where is Junmyeon now when he needs him?

Chanyeol purses his lips together. It's too hard to open his mouth, to stand up for himself. He's completely paralyzed, heart pounding in his chest and so high he can feel it in his throat, making him feel like he's choking. He can't control his breathing as he starts trembling even more. Shaun has never attacked him physically, but the scars left on his self-esteem are all because of his harsh words and insults, the way he just knows where it hurts the most and he isn't shy about abusing his weak spots.

Shaun comes closer to him, eye to eye. Chanyeol can't look at him. He feels pathetic. All his life he's dealt with bullies, why him? What did he ever do to deserve such treatment? Shaun's friends seem bothered by his behavior, but they never do anything to stop him. Shaun is so close to him and the older one's eyes are brimming with tears, terrified of what is to come.

_ Please stop. I know I'm worthless and annoying and a faggot, please don't waste your energy on me. _ Chanyeol keeps thinking as he struggles to stay put, but at the same time he can't move.

All of a sudden Shaun's shadow is no longer on him. He looks up as soon as he hears a loud bang against the lockers, batting away the tears to see what's going on.

It's Baekhyun, keeping the tall basketball player against the lockers with his elbow. He just walked up to the scene and couldn't think about anything other than knocking the shit out of this guy.

"Listen up you motherfucker, say a word to my Chanyeol again and you  _ won't  _ see the light of day ever again, you got that?" Baekhyun grits through his teeth right in Shaun's face. No one wants to be threatened by Baekhyun, that's well established among the students. Because usually, he carries out these threats.

Shaun looks pretty terrified, his eyes are glistening with fear. Chanyeol watches the scene unravel and a weird feeling of thrill runs through him as he grasps onto what is happening. A weird feeling, for sure, but he's still trembling and sweating like crazy. This is it. The thing he's wished for so long, he didn't actually think it would happen. Baekhyun looks cold and emotionless. Like he had no soul as he crushes Chanyeol's long-time enemy on the wall. Chanyeol wants to control himself from jumping on Baekhyun and kissing him right then and there. He's never felt as safe and protected as now, that thought alone makes him a little teary.

Baekhyun lets go of the bully after a minute, the coldness in his eyes replaced with something, Chanyeol can't really see what. Shaun massages his shoulder that took the hardest hit. "Why do you care? Are you his boyfriend or something?"

"Yeah, I am. So you better keep your fucking distance." His chin is high as he replies without hesitation. Everyone in the hearing distance gasps. Especially Chanyeol. He blinks rapidly as if it would make the words make any more sense to him. That was a little dramatic of him. Then Baekhyun turns around and grabs Chanyeol's hand, leading him away from that guy.

They walk for a while but stop once it's just the two of them on the same empty hallway Chanyeol first ran to hide from Baekhyun. Oh, how times have changed. Chanyeol keeps staring at him with his eyes wide open, tears forming yet again in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" He turns around and has the most concerned look on his face. Chanyeol can't hold it in. He drops on the ground against the wall and hides his face with his hands, letting the tears fall down.

Baekhyun's eyebrows furrow as he sits next to him and wraps his hands around him. Chanyeol automatically leans against him, sobbing into his hands, a bit louder as Baekhyun squeezes him harder. "What did he say to you?" He whispers as he rests his chin on the other's head.

Chanyeol shakes his head, finally revealing his face. "N-nothing unusual, nothing that should really affect me anymore… Just a fucking faggot."

"Why the fuck does he go around calling people names?" Baekhyun asks as his blood starts visibly boiling, face red all of a sudden. "But… Why are you crying if that's not the reason?"

"Because… I'm… I don't wanna be here, Baek. I walk in the hallways and all I can think about is how everyone despises me, everyone laughs at me behind my back. I can feel it in class when I open my mouth, when I make a small mistake… These people are the fucking worst and I wanna go home." His voice breaks as he finally tells him what's bugging him. "I know it may seem like I don't care but the truth is… I care too much about what they think of me."

"Is that why you're not wearing glasses today?" Baekhyun asks, squeezing the younger one even tighter. His heart aches to hear such things, but Chanyeol hurts even more. He nods his head.

"I just wanna fit in. I want people to like me. But they don't, they just think I'm a loser. My whole life I've dealt with people who pick on me, and it's just so unfair. Why me? Why no one else? What's so fucking wrong with me?" He sobs again into Baekhyun's shoulder but is being pushed up by the said male. He lifts his chin up with his hand and makes him look into his brown eyes. He looks concerned and caring, those eyes others always mistake as emotionless now carrying so much warmth it physically makes Chanyeol heat up.

"You're not a loser, Chanyeol. There's nothing wrong with you. And you don't have to suck up to those bastards, they're the losers. I know you wear your heart on your sleeve and that's what makes you so incredibly adorable, so lovable, but so easy to hurt. And those attention greedy bitches only see that as an opportunity to hurt someone."

Chanyeol blinks a few times as he's taken aback by those words. Baekhyun so rarely says any long sentences. "... Is this the Baek I know?" He jokes lightly, making Baekhyun smile as well.

"Yeah, I don't usually go on such a rant but… Maybe it's boyfriend privilege."

Chanyeol blushes at that word. Boyfriend. Finally. "Are you really willing to have my image plastered on you? Soon everyone knows you're dating a loser."

"Oh, fuck them. If you're fine with having my image on you."

"More than anything, really. My whole life I've just wanted someone to stand up for me."

"I'll protect you with my whole life. And I'm sorry I made you go through all that on your own. From now on I won't let you walk the hallways alone."

Chanyeol chuckles and now hugs him, squeezing him tight. "Is that boyfriend privilege as well? You know… You were actually hot when you threw Shaun on the wall."

"Definitely. Boyfriend privilege is also… Well… I'll kick the world's ass for you. Just say the word and I'm on it. Even if just to see me being hot again." Baekhyun smirks as he pokes at his side in the hug, making the taller one back away abruptly. That was uncalled for, but it did make Chanyeol smile as he stares into Baekhyun's eyes again.

"Can boyfriend privilege include not being poked at?"

"Definitely not," Baekhyun says and leans on Chanyeol's face, poking his nose with his own.

**

Baekhyun gets home with the stupidest grin on his face. He unlocks the door with a code and enters without a thought. Well, a thought he does have, but his thoughts seem to be revolving around the words boyfriend and Chanyeol…

He closes the door behind him but suddenly there's a cold pipe against his temple.

"Raise your hands." A voice says. It's not a voice he recognizes. It's like it was heavily altered with a computer. He does as he's told. He can't turn to see who it is pointing a gun at him. All he can do is sweat.

"Who are you?" Baekhyun asks, trying to figure out a way out of this. But how do you fight someone with a gun when you're unarmed?

"Where is your father? If you don't reply in three seconds, I will blow your brains out." He completely ignores the question.

Baekhyun's brains freeze. He didn't comprehend what was just told to him. All he can think about is how he's going to die and Chanyeol will never find out where he went.

"1...2…"

Baekhyun tries to open his mouth but there is no sound. This is it. This is how he dies.

"3!" Baekhyun shuts his eyes and waits for the bang. But there is no, only some cold liquid being leaked on his temple. Baekhyun opens his eyes and turns his head to see Mijun with a mask, pointing a water gun at him. "Gotcha!"

Baekhyun grunts. He wants to smack his bodyguard so hard with the water gun that they all break into pieces. The gun, Mijun, Baekhyun… All of them. "Not funny! I really thought I was gonna die!"

"But it's cool, right?" Mijun says as he takes off the mask.

"Cool? Really?" Baekhyun's brows are furrowed as he rolls his eyes. His heart is still beating fast and he's shaking, but he tries not to let it show.

"The mask," he points to it, "it alters my voice so you didn't recognize me."

"Yeah, I got that. But I was going to fucking piss myself, don't do that again, please!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. You've been so tense lately, is everything alright?"

Baekhyun sighs and looks away. He used to be so close to Mijun, treated him like a big brother even.

But it has all changed. The less time he spends with Mijun, the more he has to remember who he is. Baekhyun just leaves into his room, closing the door behind him.

Mijun tries to follow but Baekhyun bangs the door so loudly shut he knows not to disturb him.

The truth is, right now he couldn't be better, and he doesn't want Mijun to ruin everything for him. He sits down on his bed and thinks about Chanyeol, his boyfriend. Who knew he could actually get himself a boyfriend.

Seeing Mijun would only remind him of how Chanyeol will eventually leave him, no matter how hot he thinks it is when Baekhyun is beating up people, he could never love a criminal, or at least be a part of this business.

He sighs deeply. Great. Mijun already ruined his mood. He tries to suffocate these thoughts by texting Chanyeol again, smiling through them.

Fuck Mijun. Fuck the mafia. He has a boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally boyfies uwu


	16. not gross

Baekhyun snaps another photo of Chanyeol with his new polaroid camera. The camera spits out a black picture in a white frame. Chanyeol gets startled from the flashing light.

"What the heck are you doing?" he asks in all seriousness, trying to watch TV in peace.

"Taking pictures of you, what does it look like?" Baekhyun says so nonchalantly. They're sitting on the couch in Chanyeol's living room. Baekhyun has gotten used to Mr. and Mrs. Park, so now they can spend time outside Chanyeol's room as well.

"I can see that, but why?" His cheeks have a tint of red on them. The way Baekhyun looks at him just sends butterflies his way. "And why a polaroid?"

"Because I like polaroids. And I like you. You're pretty."

Chanyeol blushes even more, and that's when Baekhyun snaps another photo. The photos take a while to cool down and show the actual image. Baekhyun lays them on the coffee table.

"Stop it!" Chanyeol is trying to sound mad but it's hard to take him seriously when he's giggling.

Baekhyun flips the camera so that the lens is pointing towards his own face. He leans on Chanyeol to take a picture together. "Smile!" he says before flashing the light. It's impossible for Chanyeol to keep a straight face, so he gives in and does silly faces with Baekhyun.

Baekhyun wraps an arm around Chanyeol's neck and kisses his cheek. He snaps a photo of that as well, perfectly capturing Chanyeol's smile that arose from the kiss. Baekhyun is going to use a whole stack of these photo papers, but he doesn't care. Chanyeol is the only one he wants to take pictures of.

Chanyeol looks at the photos in hand and smiles. He looks pretty hideous in his own opinion, of course, but the ones with Baekhyun are really cute. Baekhyun looks at the pictures as well and he has a wide smile on his face. The pictures are… Perfect. He would put them up on his wall if he could. He puts the camera down to collect all the photos.

That's when Chanyeol snatches it and starts snapping photos of Baekhyun.

"Hey! Stop that!"

"Revenge is a dish best served cold." Chanyeol sticks out his tongue and runs away with the camera. Baekhyun chases him into the kitchen, laughing all the way, adrenaline pumping through his veins.

Chanyeol holds up the camera, threatening to take more pics if he comes any closer. Baekhyun stops moving. He tries to think of a strategy. Maybe a familiar strategy he uses all the time. Or maybe he should switch up and think of a new strategy, one that is less gruesome and more effective.

"Hey what's that?" Baekhyun asks and points to the fridge. Chanyeol immediately looks behind himself and makes sure there's no one to sneak up on him. And that's when Baekhyun snatches the camera from his hands. "Gotcha."

Chanyeol jumps up from the sudden movement. Then he stomps his foot on the ground. But all in a playful manner, of course. "Unfair."

"What are you two doing? You're so loud," Sungjin claims as he walks into the room with a coffee cup in his hands. The mother is still working.

"Baek's camera."

The father knits his brows together. That wasn't really an answer to his question. He takes in a deep breath before filling his mug with more caffeine. "Fine, I won't ask more. I'll be doing some work upstairs, so if you're gonna come up, you have to be very quiet. I'll just refill this cup and I won't come down until I'm done."

Chanyeol and Baekhyun both nod, then the father leaves.

"Do you think he was a little grumpy?" Baekhyun scrunches his nose. He's very easily affected by other people's moods.

"Yeah… He's a little stressed out I think. We should just stay down here and watch a movie or something. My dad's a pretty chill guy but we don't wanna wake up the beast."

"Sure, what do you wanna watch?"

"Not horror, that's for sure. How about 500 Days of Summer?" Baekhyun's eyes spark up when he hears the movie title.

"I love that movie. I've seen it like a million times."

"Me too!" Chanyeol exclaims and they go into the living room. The camera is already forgotten onto the kitchen counter. Chanyeol puts the disc in the DVD-player but they don't start it until they get some snacks and a cozy blanket to get snuggled up.

Chanyeol wraps the blanket around both of them. The heat radiating from their bodies and attaching to the blanket makes up for the rain outside. He leans on Baekhyun's shoulder, even though he's half a head taller than him. He's laid himself out on the couch quite loosely to make it more comfortable.

While Chanyeol got the snacks, Baekhyun turned off every light downstairs to get into the mood. Now they can enjoy each other's company to the fullest in the atmospheric blue light coming from the TV screen.

The film goes on a while, both of them completely immersed in it. Baekhyun rests his head on Chanyeol's and yawns. It's cozy, it's warm, it's late. He will probably fall asleep at any moment now.

"I feel really bad for Tom. He just fell for the idea of Summer and how she could complete him…" Chanyeol points out, breaking the silence.

"But to be fair, we both fell for ideas of each other at first, right? I didn't know what you were like before I fell for you."

"True. But they were only ideas, they didn’t stop us from seeing the reality. I mean you’re not everything I expected you to be, but I think that’s good because you’re more than I could’ve imagined.”

"I've always wondered why you even liked me in the first place. Or why you still like me..."

Chanyeol shifts a little closer, ready to drop a load of hearts his way. "Because you're… so straightforward. You don't pay attention to unnecessary things and you're just… like… really pretty and like, wise and comforting and... I don't know, you just make me feel good. And safe. Sometimes it feels like you're the only one in this world who gets me."

Baekhyun raises his head to look at the ball of fluff on his shoulder. Black strands of hair messily tickling his chin. He didn't even stutter. He does it a lot, maybe he's gotten used to it. But it never fails to make Baekhyun feel better about himself.

"You always tell me why you like me, and I feel like I never tell you my reasons."

"That's the difference between us, I'm more of a man of words and you're a man of action. Actions speak louder than words, so it's fine." He keeps his attention on the TV.

"But it’s boyfriend privilege, remember?" Baekhyun starts and lifts Chanyeol's chin up to lock their gazes. Chanyeol's eyes sparkle like they always do, he carries the whole galaxy with him. "Chanyeol, I think you're the greatest on this planet. You're so pure and energetic, so adorable, smart and you make me feel really good too with your compliments and comforting wisdom. You're just an amazing person."

"Are you trying to one-up me?" Chanyeol's smile reaches his ears.

"I just really like you. Like, really, really."

"I know. And I really,  _ really _ , like you, too."

Baekhyun kisses the top of his head and a smile creeps up his lips. He can never say that enough. Nor hear. It always makes him smile to hear that he's loved. And that he can truly love someone… Or maybe love isn't the right term… Yet.

Chanyeol gets up a little, taking a better position on the couch, just to look at Baekhyun and stare into his eyes and then his lips. "Did you know that you carry around 700 types of bacteria in your mouth? And that when we kiss, our bacteria get swapped so it creates new bacteria. For a ten-second kiss, we transfer like 80 million of them."

Baekhyun squints his eyes like he always does when listening to Chanyeol explain these things. He leans in a little closer subconsciously. "Disgusting." The movie only serves as background noise anymore, staring at each other is far more interesting.

"It kinda is. But it's weird, a kiss can determine if two people are compatible, touch, scent, and taste give off information and in a few seconds they can basically tell if they're in love or not."

"Doesn't that sound a little… too physical?"

Chanyeol shrugs, nudging Baekhyun's shoulder accidentally. "Maybe. But you don't necessarily have to be skilled to turn someone on… Just… compatible."

Baekhyun pierces holes in Chanyeol with his gaze. He's squinting even more. "How do you know all this? And why are you telling me this?"

"I… I googled." Chanyeol turns his head to watch the screen.

"Why did you google these things?" Baekhyun leans closer to his face from the side with a smug smile. Chanyeol can feel his breath on his cheek and his soft whispers send shivers down his spine.

"I-I dunno…" He tries to be all clueless about it, but he's never clueless, Baekhyun knows that.

"If you wanna make out, just say so."

Chanyeol's face heats up. "I-I just… didn't know how to be smooth."

"Chanyeol, I'm your boyfriend. You literally just have to say 'let's make out', and I won't think twice about it," Baekhyun states, taking some distance much to Chanyeol's disappointment.

Chanyeol scrunches his nose and turns to look at him again. "But that's so unromantic."

"You think talking about bacteria is romantic?" Baekhyun's eyebrows are raised up to his hairline.

"Fair point." He nods, defeated.

Baekhyun looks at him with wide eyes as he leans a little bit closer. "I'm waiting for you to say it." He's so close to his face, but he won't lean forward to kiss him until he's heard the magical words.

"Say what?" Chanyeol looks at his lips that are dangerously close to his.

"That you wanna make out with me."

Chanyeol opens his mouth but he can't seem to push the words out. His face heats up more and he shakes his head violently. "It's so cringy. I can't say it, you say it."

"No, I wanna hear you  _ beg _ ."

Chanyeol cracks up at Baekhyun's rather sincere words. Baekhyun can't help but laugh a little too. "You… Perv."

"You're the one who wants to make out."

"Are you saying you don't?" He almost looks hurt.

"No, I'm saying why the fuck are we not doing it already?" Baekhyun takes Chanyeol's hand in his like it was the most natural thing. 

"Good question."

"Chanyeol, please, I just want you to say it."

Chanyeol bites his lower lip. He can't resist the temptation anymore. He takes off his glasses and sets them on the coffee table next to their snacks. He holds eye contact and whispers: "Kiss me."

Baekhyun's eyes practically start glistening in excitement as he heard Chanyeol's deep and soft voice demand for a kiss. That doesn't really count as begging, but it's even better. Even if he was the one begging.

Baekhyun leans forward softly to brush his lips against Chanyeol's. He's convinced Chanyeol wears some scented lip balm or something because his lips almost always taste like strawberries. Thankfully, those are his favorite berries.

Chanyeol responds immediately, his pace is a lot faster than Baekhyun's, but he's quick to pick up. Baekhyun grabs his waist and pulls him close, Chanyeol automatically grabbing his shoulders and slowly moving them up into his hair, tugging on it softly. He parts his lips slightly and Baekhyun brushes his tongue along his lower lip and sucks on it gently.

Chanyeol presses himself even closer to Baekhyun if possible and lets out a muffled moan. It's like adding fuel to the flames and Baekhyun dares to be a little less gentle. Then he parts slightly from the kiss and opens his eyes just to see the look on Chanyeol's face. He looks disappointed as he's gravitating towards the latter already.

"Please don't tell me you started thinking about the bacteria," Chanyeol jokes as he realizes that Baekhyun is not leaning back in.

"No, no, I was just wondering how badly I wanna devour you, but I know that it won't sate my lust for you. So I have to take this in slowly." The big words make Chanyeol raise his eyebrows.

"How do you know? You've never tried."

"Devouring you?"

"Yeah." The look in Chanyeol's eyes tells Baekhyun to go for it,  _ devour me _ . And he might be crazy if he thinks he can read Chanyeol's mind just by looking into his eyes, but that's exactly what he's going to do.

Baekhyun leans back in for the kiss. Their bodies start moving in the same rhythm, hands traveling all over each other's bodies, sending shivers. Baekhyun grazes over his lips and eventually his tongue, exploring the inside of his mouth. Chanyeol leans down to lay on the couch and pulls Baekhyun on top of him in the process. He almost loses balance, but he won't stop the kiss. They raise their legs on the couch as well.

Baekhyun kisses the corner of his mouth and works all his way down to the neck, nibbling and sucking on the sensitive skin. The way Chanyeol arches his back like a cat makes Baekhyun smile against his skin. He will definitely leave a mark there. Then he traces himself back on Chanyeol's lips again.

At this moment, neither of them remembers that there's anything bad in this world, anything other than the two of them, their bodies against each other.

Chanyeol can feel Baekhyun's chest rising up and down heavily, his breathing on his face and in his mouth. It all feels just too good. The rain hits the ceiling, creating background noise along with the movie playing as they keep moving in sync and exploring each other.

The blood has rushed down to Chanyeol's crotch, and he can feel Baekhyun's bulge on his leg through their jeans. To be a bit of a tease, he grinds on Baekhyun just a tiny bit, making sure to caress Baekhyun's bulge with his thigh. He bites Baekhyun's lower lip almost intentionally.

Baekhyun lets out a moan this time, he was not expecting that, but he's fully embracing the situation. His breathing gets heavier and it's getting harder to maintain a fully functioning kiss as it becomes sloppier with every move. He can also feel Chanyeol's chest rise up and down rapidly under him.

Chanyeol tugs on his hair again and stops grinding on him to focus on the kiss. He nibbles on Baekhyun's lower lip and Baekhyun seems like he's about to burst. He presses himself tight against Chanyeol before parting from the kiss. His breathing has gotten so heavy he needs a minute to calm himself down before he can open his mouth, so he gets up to sit, much to the younger's disappointment.

"Wh-what's wrong?" Chanyeol asks as he sits back up as well.

Baekhyun looks at him and smiles at his neediness. "If I don't stop myself now, we'll go all the way until your whole body hurts, mine aches, and I pass out from not being able to breathe while kissing you," Baekhyun explains. "And I thought that maybe your living room in the middle of the day isn't the right place for that."

Chanyeol looks down and pouts. "You're right. My dad could come down any minute now."

"One day I'll devour you so good there'll be nothing left of you."

Chanyeol smiles and attaches himself close to Baekhyun, hugging him from the side. He really is needy right now. "Watch out, I might suffocate you before that."

"That sounds so violent," Baekhyun says and hugs Chanyeol back.

The younger one backs off just enough to hold eye contact with his boyfriend. "Does it make up for it if I say I love you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg this story is just so fluffy all the time but don't worry, there will be angst soon::)))))))  
but happy late valentine's day!!! be sure to shower your loved ones with love!! but you should do it every day, not just valentine's day haha


	17. unfair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i'm a bit late i was 460 km away from home, didn't have time to update ;; but now i did! sorry!

Chanyeol wraps his arms around Baekhyun's neck and laughs as the adrenaline from defying the rules sets back. Baekhyun smiles as his hand travels just slightly under Chanyeol’s shirt. 

"This can't be your first time skipping class, you're bullshitting me," the older one says, convinced that Chanyeol can't be that good.

They’re in his car, sitting together on the backseat on the school’s parking lot.

Chanyeol shrugs. "I've skipped whole days faking sick, not just one class like this."

"But it's fun, right?"

Chanyeol bites his lower lip and tries not to smile, the mischievous look on Baekhyun’s face makes his heart pound in anticipation. "But what if someone sees us?"

”They already know we’re a couple and if they stop to look then they need help,” Baekhyun assures. Just then someone walks through the parking lot. Skipping class probably as well.

"What if we get caught?"

"Oh, relax, we won't!" Baekhyun reassures before they start making out in the back of his car, it doesn't take long before Chanyeol forgets about the rules, too focused on the taste of his boyfriend.

**

Chanyeol opens the door to his home silently. He has no energy to talk to his parents right now, he’s hoping to God they don’t hear him enter.

He leaves the keys on a tray next to the door and walks past the kitchen, only to see two pairs of judging eyes on him. Of course. Sneaking past them would’ve been too good to be true. Maybe his faith was too weak.

"Park Chanyeol, sit down," the mother says with her arms crossed. She has the meanest look on her face and Chanyeol doesn't like it. He furrows his brows. Even his dad is sitting on his usual spot with a serious look.

"What's up?" He tries to ask as he puts down his backpack and sits opposite his dad. The mother using his full name is never a good sign.

"We… Got a call from the school," the father starts, he's so serious that it's creepy.

"...Oh?"

"They told us that you…" The silence is almost deafening, and it makes Chanyeol's heart beat faster. What has he done now?

"You skipped class. Dammit, Sungjin, couldn't you just spit it out?"

"I was getting there…"

Chanyeol stops breathing. Oh no. How did he get caught? "Wh-what?"

"The principal called, you skipped class," his father says and holds intense eye contact.

Chanyeol crosses his arms. He's guilty, but somehow admitting it feels like the worst thing he could do. Like,  _ c'mon _ , it was one class. "So? It's not like other people don't skip class all the time." He looks down at the table. Sure, he broke the rules, but this was only one time!

"What does it matter, you're not other people, you're Chanyeol. You don't have to do everything like other people!" Again, it's the mother yelling at him, like always, and the father stays quiet. When it comes to rules, Youngmi is always in charge.

"Youngmi, calm down. You promised you wouldn't start yelling at him," the father now says, loud enough to make the room silent.

"Why did the principal call? It was only the first time…" It's unfair. Why do some people get to break the rules and get away with it so easily?

"Well, that's the thing," the father replies, sighing deeply, "he said you weren't alone."

"Yeah, he told us you were with some Benjamin guy," she says and glares at her son. "Who is that?"

"Who the fuck is-," Chanyeol thinks to himself before realizing who the principal obviously meant. "Oh, Baek. He's Baekhyun."

"You were with Baekhyun?"

"Obviously, who else?"

The parents look at each other the way they always do when they're speaking telepathically. Or that's what it looks like.

"What? The principal called because I was with Baek?"

"Yes. He wanted to call us personally because he's worried about you. Worried about that guy's bad influence on you."

"Bad influence? C'mon, you know Baekhyun, he's not some kind of a criminal." They look at each other  _ again _ . It makes Chanyeol want to rip his head off, the way they keep talking to each other without him understanding it.

"We're not so sure about that. The principal told us what kind of a person he is."

"Care to enlighten me?" He's starting to become irritated.

"Chanyeol, he's a bully," Youngmi says with the most sympathetic look, from 100 to a 0 just like that.

Chanyeol slams his fist on the table, making his parents startled. "He's not a bully! Sure, he can be pretty aggressive, but he wouldn't hurt anyone who didn't deserve it."

Sungjin furrows his brows as well. "You know the type of people I see the most in prison? People who think they did the right thing by being violent. People who avenged. It doesn't matter that they thought it was something they deserved. They violated the law."

"But that's just unfair! If someone does something bad to me, am I just supposed to endure it while the other one gets away with it? Why are only the ones trying to defend themselves getting in trouble? Baekhyun would have never been in those situations if it weren't for those pricks!"

"Chanyeol, life isn't fair. But just because someone is bad, it doesn't give someone else the right to be bad back to them. That's just not how life works."

Chanyeol gets up so fast the chair crashes to the ground. He presses his fingers so hard on his palms the skin under his fingernails break. "Then how does it work?! By some people being above everyone else, doing what the fuck they want?!"

"Calm down," his father tries, but that's just like adding fuel to the flames.

"If everyone got back at each other, if everyone revenged, this world would be never-ending chaos, nothing but evil," even the mother says her part of wisdom, but hearing that coming from her mouth makes him even angrier. The one that has been oppressing him since the day he was born.

"I don't care! I'm tired of being at the bottom of the food chain." His whole life he's lived the way his parents want him to. Baekhyun has helped him break free from that toxic self-oppressing behavior, but now he gets nailed to a cross for 'acting different'.

"I don't think Baekhyun has such a good influence on you… Maybe you should… Stop hanging out with him." The mother says and looks away. She looks a bit nervous even. 

Chanyeol gasps, clutching his heart. He blinks a few times at his parents. "Are you serious? Are you telling me, your 17-year-old son, who I'm allowed to be with?"

Her eyes glow dark as she further explains, "he reminds me of someone I used to know. Bad boys may look like fun, Chanyeol, but they are not. They're toxic, they change you, not the other way around…" The father places a hand on her shoulder and massages it slowly. Chanyeol has no idea what she's talking about.

"Baekhyun is not some toxic 'bad boy'! You don't know him!"

The father furrows his brows. "Then how do you justify his behavior?"

Chanyeol rolls his head back and groans. "I already told you! Ugh, just… Fuck you. Fuck both of you." Then he shows his parents his middle finger and goes upstairs. He can hear both of them shout at him,  _ come back here, you can't talk to us like that _ . But he doesn't care. He would rather have no home than break up with Baekhyun. He doesn't care if Baekhyun isn't exactly a role model, but he's still a human being with feelings, mistakes, thoughts, insecurities. So what if he's not a hero? He will always be someone who Chanyeol can count on, who can keep him safe. He's more of a hero in Chanyeol's eyes than those people who "do the right thing". His blood boils and his vision blurs as he thinks about what just happened.

He bangs the door shut so loud the whole house shakes in its foundations. The bed looks comforting, so he waddles his way through the pile of trash on the ground and flops on it, face first. The yellow elephant rests on the side of his bed and he thinks about the night Baekhyun stole it from the stand, how exciting it was, how they ran away and hid in the booth and then kissed. Maybe that wasn't exactly the most legal thing they've done, but the guy running the stand was a conman. He pulled money out of people even though the game was rigged. Chanyeol grabs the big elephant and hugs it. The wounds he made on his palms sting when touching the fur and he gasps. He didn't even realize what he did. He was so angry. So furious.

Suddenly the door to his room opens. Chanyeol has turned his back on the door, so he just mumbles: "Go away." Great, now his nose is runny from thinking about crying. They didn't let him spend time alone even for a bit, that's the kind of parents they are.

"Chanyeol." It's his dad, he recognizes from his voice. The mattress feels uneven as his father sinks into it when he sits down. "I know you like Baekhyun, but…"

"Dad, please, you don't know him. The principal is just stupid and hates him."

"I don't argue with that. I don't think he was the most professional during that phone call. I could hear how much he despised him. If I had known it was Baekhyun, I would've said something, you know."

"What did he say?"

"Well… He mentioned how the two of you have gained a lot of attention in school for so openly declaring to be a couple."

Chanyeol's cheeks heat up. Apparently his parents were aware that Baekhyun is his boyfriend. "A-are you mad?" It was pretty obvious though.

"No. I'm just glad it's only Baekhyun and not some random violent guy at school. Besides, I'm more angry at the principal."

"Why?"

"Well… He said a lot of things. A lot of personal opinions. He told us that he can't believe what kind of a lowlife punk you've settled for. He was also worried that you were forced into this. But mainly he mocked Baekhyun. Now I didn't know who that Benjamin guy was, but I knew you could make your own judgments about who's good enough for you."

Chanyeol rolls on his other side to see his father. "Then why did you tell me to cut ties with him?"

"I didn't, it was your mother. She feels very strongly about people like Baekhyun, since… Well, she has her past. But also because… I'm your father. I only want what's best for you. But after thinking about it, I can't tell you who to be with and who not to be with, I can only hope you make the right choices."

"He's not a bad person, Dad."

"No, Chanyeol, we're all bad people. But I'm sorry. I shouldn't have believed the principal so blindly. Baekhyun promised me he wouldn't hurt you. I just wish you wouldn't do all this stupid stuff just because of him."

"I don't… Do it because of Baekhyun. I do it out of my own stupidity. Has it ever occurred to you or Mom that I'm a really stupid teenager and I wanna do stupid stuff? On my own, I wouldn't have done it, obviously, but you can't blame Baekhyun for my willingness to go on with his plans."

The father hums and stares at Beets swimming. Then he nods his head a few times. "You're not stupid. You're a smart boy, you know that. But I guess it's understandable you do crazy stuff, especially with… Umm… Your boyfriend." He says the word boyfriend so silently. It's not that he's uncomfortable with Chanyeol and Baekhyun dating, but it's the same as saying the word gay. He just feels awkward. "I just wish you wouldn't do anything harmful to other people or yourself. Know the limit."

Chanyeol hums and hugs the elephant tighter. "I know… And I'm sorry… For yelling at you and mom and… I didn't really mean it."

He chuckles and pats his son's shoulder. "You don't even compare to Yura when it comes to offending us. Don't worry. But you are grounded for a week."

Chanyeol sighs. Of course he is. Maybe he deserved it this time, everything evil deserves to be punished.

**

_ "Please! I beg of you! Don't hurt my brother!" _

Baekhyun shudders at the loud scream from the basement he's walking into. He just wants to nope his way back upstairs. But his father had something to tell him, told him it is important.

He opens the door to the last set of stairs and sees his father just there, opening the door from the other side. Baekhyun gets startled and clutches on his heart. "Jesus Christ."

"Ah, there you are. I heard from Seokha that they got a call from the school."

Baekhyun raises his eyebrows. Shit. "Why? What did I do now?"

Another scream from presumably a woman but this time it's louder. Mr. Byun closes the door and it muffles out the sound a little. Baekhyun winces. His heart aches as he creates a backstory for the poor lady being tortured. He tries to think of her as someone bad, maybe someone who knows what happened to his mother. Or worse, what if she's hurt his mother? That makes it easier to bare the scream.

"Don't worry, she's just being overdramatic. Look, there's not even a drop of blood on my hands!"

"Great. But about the school."

"Yes. Well, the principal called and said that you've been skipping too many classes lately. He said that if you don't stop, you will get a police record. And you  **do not** want a police record, Baekhyun." His eyes are cold and lifeless as he glares at his son. He's scary. But again, he knows he won't ever hurt him. Physically, at least.

"Ugh, fine, I won't skip anymore… Stupid law... " He crosses his arms. He doesn't want to spend the rest of his life in prison, away from Chanyeol. "But how did he know?"

"He said that there are cameras and he saw you. The teacher also confirmed you weren’t present."

Baekhyun's eyes widen. Oh shit. This means the principal knows he was with Chanyeol, and Chanyeol is probably grounded by now. "Did he-," his voice cracks, "did he say anything else?"

"Hmm… Oh, right. He said you were with somebody, that he's afraid for that boy's safety. Now I don't know what you did to him, but I hope you weren't breaking any rules."

Baekhyun nods. What a relief, he doesn't know that it was his boyfriend. He tries to avoid showing any emotions on his face, but Chanyeol has made it extremely difficult for him.

"School's rules or our rules, you know the consequences. Be more careful next time."

Baekhyun nods again before they go separate ways, his father goes back down and Baekhyun goes up. When he's walking through the first basement floor he notices how all of the staff stare at him.

He looks at them under his brows. "What?" It's very disturbing, there are at least ten pairs of eyes on him.

"How are you dealing with all this?" One of the women speak up, they all look sympathetic.

Baekhyun doesn't want to sound like an idiot, so he replies. "Okay… I guess…"

"Must be really hard for you."

Baekhyun should probably ask her what the heck she's talking about. He squints his eyes at her. "My whole life is hard, what's new?"

"You're right, your life is really hard. I don't know if you've noticed but your father is a fucking psycho."

"I am aware."

"You know, he makes all of us feel insane too. So please don't be mad at us."

"I'm not." Why can't he just ask them what's going on? Is he too afraid of the answer? He just leaves, runs away from the truth. Very upsetting. What do they know that he doesn't?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh not my fave  
but it's out there  
hope you enjoy uwu ♥


	18. not joking

Baekhyun laughs at Chanyeol's lousy attempts to persuade his parents. They're going apple-picking, but first Chanyeol has to assure his parents that they're not gonna do anything stupid. It could be that they don't trust Chanyeol anymore.

"It's gonna be fine, we're just gonna go apple-picking."

"And nothing else?"

"What- what else would we do?"

Ever since they found out Baekhyun is indeed his boyfriend and not just a friend, they've been a lot more cautious. Even though they pretty much acted like boyfriends before. But now they know what kind of things they could be doing…

"I can assure you, my dad will kill me if I get in trouble. And there's not really anything stupid you  _ can _ do while picking apples so…" Baekhyun tries to reason. He's holding Chanyeol's hand but he's not quite sure how that happened, when did he reach for it? "It's not like we'll burn down the farm or something. At least not the whole farm," he says with a playful smirk, but no one laughs at it. "Come on, it was a funny joke!" Even Chanyeol just bats his eyelashes at him. Okay, maybe not the best timing for a joke...

His parents are hesitant. Usually, they don't mind but… They don't really want to let their teenage son go out with his boyfriend alone. Not after everything they've done. "But… Yura is coming home today. Don't you want to at least wait for her to arrive?"

"That… Depends. We haven't got all day."

"Maybe we should call her," Youngmi stresses but the father just shakes his head.

"She called us an hour ago and she said she's home soon. She should be here any minute now." Just as he's finished talking, someone rings the bell. "That must be her!"

Chanyeol detangles himself from Baekhyun and practically runs to the door like a puppy back to his owner. He opens the door and it is none other than his sister Yura, standing there with a hazy smile. She's carrying her luggage and it seems like she's going to drop them any minute now. Her black long hair is a mess and the dark bags under her eyes tell Chanyeol that something is a bit off here. He immediately hugs her, though. It's been ages since he last saw her. "Yura!"

"How's my best lil' bro doin'?" She asks and hugs him back. She seems a little slow and her voice is very raspy.

Baekhyun looks at them at the door and knits his eyebrows together. She doesn't seem okay. The parents come to the door to hug her too. It's only been a few months since they last saw each other, Baekhyun doesn't understand why they're all being so affectionate. He wouldn't even hug his mother if she showed up from nowhere. Especially not his father.

She gets inside after all the hugs but her whole face turns pale when she sees Baekhyun. She stops everything she's doing and Baekhyun can't but think  _ well fucking hi to you too. _

"That's Baekhyun, he's my boyfriend!" Chanyeol practically beams when he says it so proudly. Boyfriend. Baekhyun smiles and waves awkwardly at her.

She turns around to look at Chanyeol with an angry expression. Angrier than intended. "Boyfriend?!"

"Jesus, Yura, don't nail me to a cross here. I thought you'd be a little happier for me."

She glares at Baekhyun again. But then she starts smiling. Baekhyun is puzzled. He doesn't enjoy being evaluated by Chanyeol's sister. Is she always like this? "Sorry. It's nice to meet you." Baekhyun just smiles and nods a few times.

Then she goes into the kitchen and practically crashes on the chair. Chanyeol frowns. "Are you okay? You seem unwell."

"Have you eaten anything today? Have you slept?" The mother now joins the worrying and starts pampering her daughter like she was a baby. She just nods and shakes it off.

"I'm fine."

"Well, we gotta go now, so you take care of her, bye!" Chanyeol says before grabbing Baekhyun and leading him out of the house. Baekhyun barely has the time to say goodbye to them.

"Is she always that weird? Are you sure it's okay for us to leave? She didn't seem okay."

"You heard her, she's fine. Although, usually not that exhausted. Besides, mom will take care of her."

"There's something horribly familiar about her…"

"Well, probably, she looks just like me!" Chanyeol exclaims before entering the car. Baekhyun rolls his eyes before entering as well.

"No, I mean… Like… The way she was. I've seen people like her…" Baekhyun furrows his brows but he can't think of what she reminds him of. It's definitely something he's seen in the basement, though. He starts the car and pulls out of the driveway.

"What, a tired college student?"

Baekhyun is not convinced, but he lets it slide this time. "Sure, could be."

Chanyeol turns to him with a wide smile but doesn't say anything. Baekhyun glances at him every once in a while but he has to keep focused on the road. He can't but smile too.

"What? Why are you staring at me?"

"No reason. Just admiring you."

"I'm gonna drive under a truck if you keep doing that."

"I'd die happy."

Baekhyun laughs. "This is why your parents don't wanna let you go out with me."

*

They walk hand in hand between the apple trees, admiring how they're placed so pleasingly in multiple straight lines. Juicy red apples hang from the branches, ready to be picked up.

"Wow, it's so pretty. I've never been to an apple farm," Chanyeol exclaims as his mouth hangs open, taking in the aesthetic view.

The older one squeezes his hand tighter as he looks up at his face. Chanyeol is really tall, he often forgets that. "I've seen prettier things."

Chanyeol raises his eyebrows and turns to look at his boyfriend. "Really? Like what?"

"You."

"Cheesy." Chanyeol squints but he can't stop smiling.

"Get used to it, I feel like wrapping you in soft bubble wrap and keep you in my closet forever."

"Forever? Are you a vampire or something?"

Baekhyun chuckles. "I wish. Then I could turn you into one and live with you forever."

"Forever..." Chanyeol looks ahead and thinks for a while before waving his hand. "Pass."

Baekhyun's soul practically leaves his body as he jumps up a little. "P-pass? You don't wanna live with me forever?!"

"Don't get me wrong, forever with  _ you _ sounds amazing but forever in this world does not."

Baekhyun smirks before poking Chanyeol's side with his free hand. "Pfft, everything's fine in this fucked up world if we're together."

Chanyeol squirms every time Baekhyun pokes him. "Stop, that tickles." But of course, Baekhyun doesn't stop, how could he when Chanyeol keeps laughing like that? How his cheeks turn pinkish and how his dimple shows every time he's happy? How could he stop?

"Not until you want to spend forever with me."

"Okay, okay! If we were to live forever, I'd happily spend it with you. But I still don't wanna live forever," he explains. Baekhyun raises his poking finger once again so Chanyeol continues his explanation. "Even if together everything is fine. How about this: we spend the afterlife together. That serves as a forever, right?"

"You really believe that there is an afterlife?" Baekhyun lowers his hand. "Like… Heaven?"

"I hope there is one. I don't believe in hell, but I do believe in heaven. Or maybe not the kind of heaven religious people believe in, but a place where we can be ghosts together and there is no evil or sadness or anything like that. At least I hope there is one because one lifetime is not enough time to spend with you."

Baekhyun stays quiet for a while. "Do you think I could get in your heaven?"

"You already are in my heaven. But yeah, as I said, I don't believe in hell, otherwise, we'd all be doomed. Especially people like Shaun..." He mutters the end under his breath, but Baekhyun heard it. He just smiles to himself. If there was a hell, he and his whole business would be going there, no doubt.

"Sounds… Beautiful. So when should we schedule our death? I'm thinking Monday, preferably in my sleep so I don't have to wake up for school."

"Baek, please. You can't joke about death like that," Chanyeol scolds but he's laughing once again. "Since we can't be sure what's on the other side of the line, let's not die for a loooong time, okay?"

"I know, don't worry." He squeezes his hand tightly and smiles at him. "That's why I wanna live forever, at least I would be sure we can spend the rest of our infinite time together."

"You're really keen on that vampire thing, huh? Would I not get a say in this if you were a vampire? Doesn't that sound like violence?"

"Does it make up for it if I say I love you?" Baekhyun quotes Chanyeol's words from a few weeks ago. That time Baekhyun got so stunned by those words he only laughed and thankfully the father came down and they got distracted. They stop walking and Baekhyun holds intense eye contact with the younger one.

"Y-you-," Chanyeol starts but the words get stuck in his throat.

Baekhyun coughs a few times and looks away. He tries to laugh it off. "Love is such a bad excuse to do shitty stuff. If it is really love, then you wouldn't hurt the other one, emotionally or physically. Therefore I would never do anything to you without your consent, of course."

Chanyeol's mouth hangs open as he looks so lost. It takes a while before his lips curve into a big smile. He doesn't say anything, but he did read between the lines. If he was any bolder he would kiss Baekhyun right now but somehow he gets too occupied in his mind to actually do it.

"Come on, let's go pick apples!" Baekhyun starts leading them again towards the trees with the juicy big apples.

Chanyeol is still too in his thoughts as he puts down the picnic basket, he doesn't pay attention to his surroundings. It doesn't take long until he trips on a root sticking out from the ground. He leaps forward, preparing for his face to hit the ground.

Baekhyun catches him in his sturdy arms, but since he didn't have the most stable pose either, they both fall down. Much like the time they were swimming. Baekhyun falls on his butt and starts laying on the ground on his back and Chanyeol falls directly on him, squeezing him under him.

Baekhyun lets out a few chuckles before muttering to himself: "Ouch."

"A-are you okay?" Chanyeol asks but doesn't make the slightest effort to get up. He hovers over Baekhyun's face. 

"Why are you always so clumsy?"

"I was just… Not paying attention…"

Baekhyun stares at him for a while before pushing him on the side to lay on his back. Baekhyun lays on his side, hovering over Chanyeol now for change. "What were you thinking about so eagerly?" He brushes Chanyeol's face with the back of his fingers.

Chanyeol's cheeks turn more red with every passing second. He blames the sun for it. Totally not because he's embarrassed or anything. "Nothing much."

"If you start with nothing much I hope it doesn’t end with me." 

"I was actually thinking about you." 

"I feel so attacked right now." 

Chanyeol smiles and grabs Baekhyun's collar. "Give me one kiss and after that, we can start picking those damn apples."

Baekhyun smiles as well before leaning down to brush his lips against Chanyeol's. It doesn’t even last as long as five seconds before their lips part. Baekhyun doesn't even open his eyes as he whispers against his lips "one more." And he leans down for another kiss. This one lasts a bit longer, but it stays innocent.

Then he pulls away and smiles. Chanyeol beams. His cheeks are even redder. His glasses got a little askew because Baekhyun accidentally pushed them. 

"You're cute." He boops his nose with his fingertip before getting up and dusting off his clothes. He helps Chanyeol up as well. "Will you now pay attention to your surroundings?" 

"Will you catch me again if I fall?" 

"Of course." 

"Then no, I won't." He smiles sheepishly.

"Abusing my kindness." Baekhyun shakes his head in disapproval, laughing afterward. He reaches out for an apple that looks good, but can't quite reach it.

Chanyeol picks it up easily and smiles at his boyfriend. "Does it make up for it if I say I love you?" He asks again with the stupidest grin on his face.

"Say it like you mean it and I'll think about it," Baekhyun offers. He's not expecting an answer, so he picks up apples he can reach.

Chanyeol picks up the apples that are higher and places them in a paper bag. He bites his lower lip and weighs the situation. But he can't let out a single word from his mouth.

The older one turns around after a while to catch Chanyeol staring at him. He starts smiling but the look on Chanyeol's face stays the same. His eyes glisten and his brows are curved upside-down almost. "What?" Baekhyun asks with a light chuckle.

"Do… Do you really want me to say it?"

Baekhyun looks away and for the first time since forever, his cheeks flush red. "O-of course you don't have to…" He tries to mutter, but Chanyeol isn't convinced.

He lays out the blanket for their picnic under the tree and sits on it. Then he tells Baekhyun to sit down as well, ordering him like a dog. And he does as he's told. Then he shifts closer to Baekhyun, cups his face and looks him dead in the eye. "Baek," he starts, "I love you." Nothing has ever come out of his mouth so naturally and so sincerely, he thought he would struggle more.

Baekhyun's breath hitches as his eyes widen. "A-are you joking?"

Chanyeol smiles and shakes his head. "I really think I love you. I don't care that we haven't really known each other for more than six months but… I… Adore you, care about you, feel good around you, wanna spend forever with you. If that isn't love, then I don't know what is."

Baekhyun cups his face as well and smiles. "I love you too. I think I've… As stupid as this sounds… Loved you since we first kissed. I haven't stopped thinking about you."

The taller one soothes his cheeks and holds the eye contact. "It hurts me to know that you don't love yourself as much as I love you. I just wish you could see yourself through my eyes."

"Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with your glasses."

"I will slap you if you won't take me seriously right now." It's hard to believe Chanyeol since he's smiling so wide, but he encourages Baekhyun to look him in the eyes.

And so he stares at Chanyeol and that reflection of himself he sees through his big glossy eyes and his glasses. He looks distorted, but the fact that he's seeing his own reflection from another human being's eyes is what gets him a little emotional. He never thought this could happen. That he could be worth loving.

"I guess I'm… Starting to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl this chapter got me smiling theyre so cute i cri  
but for how long????? *insert eye emoji*


	19. don't trust me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE DELAYYYY ;;; been doing a lot of changes in these last few chaps so sorry if it's not perfect aklsfsadfjk ANYWAYS ENJOYYY ♥♥ (pls don't kill me)

Chanyeol browses through the channels mindlessly smiling to himself. What a funny feeling, he's there in his living room but his mind is traveling places. Far and beyond, but all of his thoughts consist of Baekhyun. How he's going to kiss him the next time they meet without feeling so embarrassed about making the first move. He'll rock his socks.

But his thoughts get interrupted by a certain someone sitting next to him with a loud, exhausted sigh. Chanyeol knows better than to ignore such a cry from his one and only sister. She immediately raises her legs on the couch and leans on her brother, indicating to Chanyeol that he cannot think about Baekhyun any longer.

Funny joke, he's constantly thinking about his boyfriend. Even if he has to focus on Yura, Baekhyun is still in the back of his mind.

"What?" Chanyeol asks as he doesn't even turn to her. That's just how they talk to each other, the less emotion they show, the easier it is to open up.

"Nothing. I was just watching you and wondering how much you've grown. You're really tall, are you aware of that?"

Chanyeol rolls his eyes but can't fight back a smile. "Oh, no, what makes you think that? Because I'm literally a head taller than you and mom?" He wants to add 'combined', but maybe that's too cruel. He is 6 feet tall. That is pretty tall.

Yura sneers in a joking manner, and Chanyeol prepares himself for the hit. But there is none. "Who told you it was okay to grow up that fast, huh? Who?!" She pinches his cheek out of the blue, pushing and pulling his face. It leaves a stinging feeling on Chanyeol's cheek and he tries to push Yura away.

"M-my hormones? I don't know, maybe I slept too much." Obviously referring to the growth hormones excreting from his pituitary gland that are the most active during his sleep. Maybe Chanyeol has always slept well and therefore he's grown well.

"Aww, you even talk as if you had a brain!"

"Oh shut up. What's really on your mind though?" He's not convinced that Yura was done, she definitely wanted to rant about something. Just like in the good old days…

She sighs. Must be thinking about the past as well. "I just… It's so weird, Chan. You've grown up, you're tall, smart and you have a boyfriend… What can you not handle?" It's almost as if her tone was… Envious.

"Life in general?" He fires back with raised eyebrows. But also people like Shaun. The anxiety he gets when he meets new people… Especially from other guys. They make him feel as if he was a pathetic elementary schooler in a high schoolers outfit, even if he was a head taller than everyone. He just wants to hang his head low and he collapses in on himself, as long as they don't see him.

But it's okay. Baekhyun will beat up everyone who crosses paths with him. As long as he has Baekhyun by his side, nothing in this world can hurt him. Nothing. That thought makes him smile.

"Great, you're smiling. You must think I'm a real failure."

Chanyeol furrows his brows and his smile drops immediately. The bags under Yura's eyes only seem to get darker as her skin becomes paler. Has she always looked that… Torn down? "What? Of course not. If anything, I've always thought you have the most fun. Anyone would die to be friends with you since you're so cool." He makes the mistake of looking at Yura in the eyes and she starts squealing, fanning her face as if she was about to cry any minute now.

Then she wraps her arms around Chanyeol's neck and he has never been in a more uncomfortable position in his life.

"That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me!"

"Yeah, yeah…" Giving compliments is something Chanyeol loves doing, but it's always so weird doing that to his sister. They're too close. They know each other too well.

"Hey, remember when I used to tell you everything? And you little snitch always told Mom and Dad?" Yura asks and makes Chanyeol grimace at the memory.

"I didn't tell them  _ everything _ , only the things that made me worried..."

She rests her head on Chanyeol's shoulder and sighs. "You never told me anything. I didn't know you were into guys or that you were bullied… Why didn't you tell me?"

Chanyeol thinks about the nights they spent together in Yura's room when she started high school. She told him all about her crush and what happened at school and what she should wear for school tomorrow. It was like that at first. She even tried to pry Chanyeol's life, asked if he liked anyone and if he'd seen any cute girls. He always shook his head and they moved on. Truth be told he had many crushes over the course of his middle school, but they were all guys and he was too ashamed to admit it to his sister, he could barely admit it to himself.

"I dunno… I was too scared. You had this standard that I  _ should  _ like girls and I didn't want you to think any different of me."

"But then you just showed me your boyfriend like it was nothing?"

Chanyeol hums. It is pretty weird how he just told her that Baekhyun is his boyfriend. "I'm just so in love with him I forgot to be ashamed."

Yura coos again, almost pinching his cheek. "You're really in love, huh?" She sighs deeply and it's that same kind of sigh that makes Chanyeol's insides twist a bit.

"Yeah, Baekhyun is great…" He could talk about him for ages, the way he feels around him is so indescribable, he'd have to spend at least a day to try and fathom everything that is so great about him.

"I had that. I thought I did."

Chanyeol sits up abruptly as his eyes widen. "What? When? Who? What?!"

"I haven't told you much recently, huh? He was great too. It was last year, though. But behind all those great qualities there… There was something bad… And because of that something, we ended up breaking up." She looks down on her lap but Chanyeol just keeps on staring at her in shock. They really have drifted apart.

"I'm sorry…" Chanyeol can't imagine breaking up with Baekhyun, not now, not ever.

"Are you really willing to look past Baekhyun's flaws? The horrible side of his nature?" She suddenly asks, making Chanyeol furrow his brows.

"Of course. He tells me everything, and as long as he accepts my flaws, I will accept his." At least he promised to tell him everything.

"Huh… I thought I could look past it, be like him and forget about everything else… But as I got hooked… I slowly lost myself. And now I have nothing left but my addiction… Are you hooked on it too?"

Chanyeol has no idea what she's talking about, he furrows his brows deeper. "Hooked on what? What the fuck are you on about?" He chuckles lightly, but there's not even a slight shift of emotions on her face. It makes Chanyeol's heart beat faster, the intensity of this situation is killing him.

"You're with Baekhyun. You have to be hooked on drugs."

Chanyeol's mouth hangs open. "What? Just because he looks a bit of a rebel, doesn't mean he's into drugs! Jesus, all of these stereotypes..." Then the words start replaying in his head… Did Yura just tell him she's an addict?! Yura has always been a difficult book to read, the pages are stuck together and the words are like cryptic messages.

She's always been a bit reckless, but would she go this far?

"I don't care about his looks, Chan. But I guess you don't know, then…"

"Know what? Can't you just spit it out?!" His heart is throbbing in his chest, his head is filling up with horrible thoughts, frustration building up on him, he has no idea what's going on.

Yura bites her lower lip. It's like she didn't want to say it. "I'm addicted, Chan. The man I loved turned out to be a drug addict, but I loved him too much so I agreed to do stupid stuff with him. So I was offered cocaine. And we didn't stop… And even though it's been a year, I still can't… Stop..."

Chanyeol blinks his eyes, everything feels surreal. Everything looks a bit blurry. "You… You're…" He gets up. "Why didn't you say anything?! Why didn't you come back home, ask for help, anything?!"

It all makes sense now, why she looks so scruffy, why she's been so sloppy… Chanyeol can't breathe properly. She must be joking. Not his sister, anyone but her.

"I was ashamed…" She finally covers her face and breaks into tears, and Chanyeol can't hold in his tears either.

"Why, Yura? Why would you ever agree to that? Why would you risk your life?" He sits back down and takes her hands off her face to look at her red puffy eyes.

"Would you not do that for Baekhyun?"

Chanyeol looks down. "I… I don't have to, he's not using."

"Chanyeol you're an idiot! Do you not know who he is?!" Chanyeol is taken aback by the sudden yell, and it makes his blood boil. His Baekhyun, how could Yura know him better than he does? "Has mom not warned you enough? Why do you think she's so protective of you?! Where do you think I got my cocaine?!"

"You're not making any sense!" Tears start welling up in his eyes again. Why are they yelling, why are they fighting?

"Baekhyun is trying to reel you in, use you! Just like they've used me and mom," she says with a lower voice.

"Who's they?! Besides, Baekhyun would never do that!"

"They! The mafia!"

"What fucking mafia?!"

Yura takes in a deep calming breath. "I don't understand why mom hasn't told you this. Your boyfriend's father is the mafia."

Chanyeol's thoughts are all scattered in his brains and bursting out his skull. That… Can't be. Baekhyun promised not to lie to him anymore. Yura is lying. She must be lying, how could he trust her?

How can he trust Baekhyun?

Chanyeol starts laughing. "You're really funny, Yura, that was a good one." He leans back on the couch and turns back to the tv. "For a while, I thought you were actually serious."

"Chanyeol! I am serious! Just ask mom!"

"Kinda funny how you think you and mom know my boyfriend better than I do. Cute."

"You don't understand. The Byuns are cruel, so cruel people. Especially the boss… He could kill me with a snap of his fingers! And I've seen Baekhyun, he's not any better."

Chanyeol is about to protest when suddenly he starts thinking about all the things he's heard Baekhyun say and do. All the pieces go together and form a complete puzzle that practically spells it all out to him. If he really thinks about it, it explains why Baekhyun is always so paranoid, so secretive, why he's often so bruised up. Why he's afraid he'll go mad…

"What do I have to do in order for you to believe me? Show you my stash?"

Chanyeol's chest feels heavy. It feels like someone was pushing his ribcage on his lungs, not letting go. His vision is blurring, everything feels wobbly. It would all make sense, but he doesn't want it to be true. He doesn't want any of this to be true. How could he have ever trusted Baekhyun?

His heart really feels like it's about to burst into a million different pieces.

A million tiny hearts beating in different directions, tearing him apart from the inside.

He should try and help Yura, help her quit, but all he can think about is Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun.

"He… You think he's just been stringing me along?"

That can't be true. He's been too vulnerable around Chanyeol.

"He's most likely the master of lying."

Chanyeol tries to collect his thoughts but it hurts. It hurts so bad, the last 7 months of his life can't be just made up, the closeness, the feelings, it can't just be all a lie. "Why did you wait so long to tell me then?" His voice is so quiet. He can't move, he can't breathe, he can't even cry. He's completely still.

"I don't know… I guess I didn't know you were that serious and I was just hoping for it to pass, but… You're so deep into this. There's no way out for me, Chan, even if I go clean, I owe so much money to them they'll never let me go… But you may still have a chance to get away from this stupid business."

Chanyeol is still completely paralyzed on his seat. His brains are like an overheated computer, stopped working, so many things going on at once but nothing comes through.

It's not every day you hear your boyfriend is a manipulative liar working for the mafia.

"Just trust me, this one time, Chanyeol…"

"What do they want from us..?"

"Money. Information. I don't know. Anything and everything they can. If you promise to break up with Baekhyun, I'll go clean. I'll get into rehab! Just let him go..."

Chanyeol gets up and walks straight into his room, ignoring everything she's saying to him right now, ignoring everything on the way. He can't pay attention to anything as he sits on his bed and he tries to connect the remaining dots.

Break up with Baekhyun?

So many promises made, so many tears shed and so much information revealed. Was all of it… A lie? To get what they want? Finally, the tears start streaming down his face. Did he really love someone without even truly knowing who he is? If Baekhyun is a liar he's a damn good one.

Does Baekhyun even love him? Did he ever? For half a year, was he just being deceived?

He lies down and thinks, all he can do is think. But that hurts too much.

It doesn't take long before he hears yells coming downstairs, the mother and Yura are fighting. Maybe she finally told her about her addiction. Maybe she's accusing her mother of not protecting Chanyeol enough.

If his mother knew about this, why didn't she say anything? How does she fit into this?

Is it just a coincidence that their family is so tightly linked to the mafia, or is this some sort of a sick plan, has he been the little puppet tied to the strings all along?

Nothing makes sense.

He hears a bling sound coming from his phone. He picks up his phone and sees that it's no other than the devil himself, asking if he can call him.

Chanyeol reads the message over and over again, tears still sliding down his face. Who is he supposed to trust? Baekhyun has been so sincere, there's no way he's lying. He can't be. He hears another sound from his phone, another message from Baekhyun.

_ I just wanna hear u talk _

_ I miss u _

He starts crying harder.

That can't be a lie. It just can't.

His sister obviously has no idea what she's talking about.

But it would explain everything.

Who will he trust, which one will he choose? Baekhyun, who's been lying to him before, but who he's so hopelessly in love with, or Yura, who's his dear sister but who has also made questionable decisions in the past?

He locks his phone and cries into his pillow, lets out muffled sobs, trying his best to collect his thoughts, make it make sense. But the more he thinks, the more it hurts, the more it starts to make sense…

To leave Baekhyun.


	20. not safe

Baekhyun tries to get a hold of his boyfriend but to no avail. The last conversation they had was on Thursday, it's been 3 long days. Every text he's sent Chanyeol has been ignored, every phone call missed. Or if he's replied, it has only been a simple "ok" or "idk".

And it's driving Baekhyun insane. He doesn't know what to do, because he can't contact him. He hasn't been to school, and Baekhyun's days go by with worry and no one to talk to about it.

There's something horribly wrong. Most likely it's something he did, he just can't figure out what. He could be bold and just show up to his door, but he's scared. What if he won't even answer the door? Maybe Baekhyun is just overthinking, maybe Chanyeol is just sick and needs time to heal. But why wouldn't he tell him? He's never silent. Not when he should be, not when he shouldn't be.

Nothing has ever made him feel so uncertain, every minute of these past few days he's only been able to think about Chanyeol, what is he doing, why is he ignoring him. Every waking minute he's waiting anxiously for the next message, something, anything.

But no. There's nothing.

Like a kid waiting for Christmas Day morning, the year-long wait is finally over as he gets his hands on the wrapped gift, receiving what he had hoped for all along. But unlike the eager child, Baekhyun has no present under the tree. He wakes up every morning just to be disappointed again.

If looks could kill, he would have murdered everyone in this world by now. His brows are stuck close together and his mouth pressed to a thin line. He goes into the kitchen, keeping his nose on his phone as if that would make Chanyeol reply to his message, tell him that he's okay, that he's not angry at Baekhyun. That everything is normal.

Everything is too normal, to be frank. Normal as in the way things were before, before he started dating Chanyeol. He almost bumps into the table in the kitchen when he's too in thought.

It's too silent. He could hear a pin drop. Everything is perfectly fine and under control, everything except Baekhyun's boyfriend.

He looks into the fridge, looking for something that would ease his pain, help with the stress, the frustration that is building up. But no, the fridge is empty. It's full of things he could eat for dinner but there's nothing he could snack on.

Just as he's cursing his fate, the door to the basement opens. It's the tan Korean who is too young to be here. He looks shocked to see Baekhyun, immediately stopping in his tracks.

"What?" Baekhyun hisses, his eyes droopy. He feels bad for being so mean to Jongin, he's just a kid, he has no right to be mad at him. He's mad at Chanyeol. And himself even more.

"Sir, I was looking for you," Jongin starts quietly. Baekhyun wonders if Jongin is always that scared and shy. He's always fiddling with his sleeves and avoiding eye contact.

"Why?"

"There- umm… He… Uh…" He can't seem to push the words out, making Baekhyun grunt.

"If you didn't notice, I'm in a really bad mood, so this probably won't even interest me," he says and turns his back at him.

"It- It's about Chanyeol!" Jongin finally blurts out.

Baekhyun blinks slowly. Did he hear that correctly? Did Jongin just say Chanyeol? That's impossible. He shouldn't know he exists. "What? Who?" He turns around to face the errand boy who keeps fiddling with his sleeves.

"Y-your boyfriend…" He doesn't get the chance to continue as Baekhyun cuts him off.

"How do you know Chanyeol?" He doesn't even try to cover it up. He's too angry to lie. 

"I-I… Everyone knows him by now…"

Baekhyun finally raises his eyebrows from the still position. His breath hitches as he tries to remain calm. Everyone? It feels like his biggest secret was revealed, his worst nightmare coming to life.

But he should have seen it coming.

"Wh-what about him?" He starts stuttering now. He doesn't want to accept the fact that his father is out there knowing Chanyeol exists. He knows Baekhyun has been disobeying the rules.

"He's in danger. The others didn't want me to tell you, but I had to. Don't tell them it was me."

Baekhyun's hands start shaking. "No, you're bluffing. He's not in danger…" He looks down and his breathing gets irregular. It feels like his insides are getting gushed.

_ Use your head _ , he tries to tell himself but his mind goes blank, his legs feel numb. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to process this information.

"Wh-what k-kind of danger?"

"Apparently, there's a gang after him. Has been for over half a year now. You told Master to let the leader on the loose since he wasn't after you."

Baekhyun tries to recall such an incident but over the past seven months, he's been thinking about no one else than Chanyeol. Chanyeol's black fluffy hair, his beautiful eyes, the way he rambles whenever he gets nervous… His innocent sweet Chanyeol. He tries to dig past that and remembers the one test his father put him into. He had to choose if they kill the man or let him go. They let him go.

They should have never listened to a dummy like Baekhyun. Clearly, he shouldn't be responsible for such important decisions. Baekhyun leans on the counter and his phone slips off his hand, hitting the tile floor, screen spalling from the impact.

Baekhyun wants to keep asking and deny it all, he doesn't want to believe that his sweet Chanyeol is being chased down by some gang for some fucking reason. He also wants to know how long they haven't been a secret, but there are more important things.

He needs to get to Chanyeol.

"Why? Why why why why would someone be after him?!" He bats away the tears forming in his eyes. He starts pacing around with all the energy left in him.

But Jongin doesn't say another word. It's like he was afraid of the answer as well.

Baekhyun takes in a deep breath. He has so many unanswered questions. "You know what, I'm just gonna go ask him."

If it's not too late. His heart starts pounding in his chest from the thought. What if that's why Chanyeol hasn't talked to him?

His breathing gets way too quick, he's getting too much oxygen at once.

Before he can start running out the door, he sees his father come up from the basement as well. His face is expressionless, as always. Usually, he at least tries for Baekhyun. Not today.

Baekhyun drops his chin on his chest. He is so close to the door by now it has to look suspicious.

"Where are you going?" He asks, and the coldness of his voice makes him shiver. What's the point of lying anymore? He knows. He knows everything.

For how long? When did he find out? How? Does he know he's been seeing him every Friday? That thought makes his knees wobbly. All the terrible things his father has done to people who disobey the rules…

Will it be the same for him?

He's too afraid to say anything as his father only walks closer and closer to him, silently. Jongin leaves them alone together, even he can't bear to see what's about to happen.

"Perhaps you're going to... save your precious boyfriend? Oh, but it's too late, isn't it?"

Baekhyun's legs give in and he falls on his knees before his father. Finally, he lets the tears slide, the ones he's been holding back for three days now.

"All this time… You've lied to me, Baekhyun. And you really thought I wouldn't know? Do you not know me at all?"

All he can do is cry and tremble in fear. Sure, he has what they call Baekhyun privilege, but that doesn't mean his father would let him live after breaking rule number one.

Never give out personal information.

Heck, if he wasn't his son, he'd probably be shot by now.

He can't really tell which one would be a better option at the moment.

"I-I'm sorry, Father, I…" He manages to stutter out. He sees his father crouch down in front of him through his blurry vision.

"For following your heart, or breaking mine?"

Baekhyun's sobs get louder. As if he were a little child, breaking a valuable vase and now his father is here to… Fix it. Only his father won't, his father is here to fix  _ him _ .

He's not sorry for falling in love with Chanyeol. Neither does he care much about his father's heart. But it's the punishment he's most afraid of, and Chanyeol who he's most worried about.

"You know what happens next."

Baekhyun shots up his head and fires a glare at his father. "If you knew, then why didn't you say anything?" Why does he ask when he knew all along? This was bound to happen. He was dumb for thinking he could fall in love so easily without his father turning it all against him.

He's a fucking idiot. Out of his mind. A buffoon.

The father gets up with a sigh, turning his back on him. Baekhyun can't tell if he's angry or furious or if he cares at all. 

"Get up."

Baekhyun does as he's told, but his legs don't carry him. He wants to move, but he can't. Disobeying his father right now would be the worst thing to do, but his legs won't listen to him.

The father finally notices that Baekhyun isn't following him, so he turns to him with questioning eyes.

Baekhyun can't look at him. He feels naked, with his guard fully down, but not by his own wish. He's never felt more ashamed, he can't cover this type of nudity with clothes. As if his father could see right through him, all of his secrets revealed. Since he knows about Chanyeol, there is nothing he wouldn't know.

No privacy.

No freedom.

Every move he makes he's constantly being watched over.

He finally manages to move his muscles and walk towards the basement. "If I die, please let me see him one more time." His voice is barely audible.

His father throws his head back and laughs for a second or two. "Don't be so dramatic, Baekhyun. I would never hurt you." He looks away and starts making his way downstairs, his son following behind. "And if I do, it's only for your own good. You know that."

Of course. His father never makes mistakes. Baekhyun wants to add his father's favorite line.  _ For there is no greater punishment than to be alive against your will. _

Everything he already knew. He knew his father would find out eventually, if not from the beginning. He knows what kind of punishments there are.

But he never told Chanyeol. There's no way he could know… So technically he didn't break the biggest rule of them all.

They walk past the first basement floor and he makes eye contact with a few of the people he's almost grown fond of. They look at him with sorry written all over their faces and their eyes. So this is what they were talking about. This is why they're sorry. But Baekhyun knows that deep down they only do what they have to, otherwise his father will execute them. Just as he has always tried, but he never feared for his life, unlike these people.

A walk of shame. His back is crouched as if he was being pulled by a rope. But he's willingly following his father into the deepest dungeon.

The uncertainty in the air is suffocating Baekhyun. All this time he thought his father would be angrier. He's constantly waiting for his father to burst and yell at him. But he's not impulsive like that. Who did Baekhyun inherit that characteristic from, then?

"I won't hurt you. I'll let someone else do that, someone, who you will actually listen to."

Baekhyun furrows his brows and watches as his father leaves the room. He's left alone inside four walls, the coldness of the concrete traveling up from his feet.

He leans on the wall and slides down. Who will his father bring? It couldn't be Chanyeol, could it?

His breathing gets quicker just by thinking about that. His sweet, innocent Yeol, who shouldn't even be meddled in this business. He knew that from the start as well.

What the hell was he even thinking? How could he have been that selfish? Did he really think he could love someone, when in fact it was only a selfish act of wanting to escape his horrible life?

He runs to the door and tries to run after his father, but it's no use, it's locked. Of course. He starts hitting the door, kicking it even. Screaming, yelling, releasing all the pent up frustration. Somewhere along the lines came the tears, he can't even see what he's doing anymore.

"Dad please! Chanyeol is innocent! Leave him alone! Just kill me, I don't care, don't touch him!" He yells and yells, but there's no one to hear him, no one but these walls.

The more he thinks the more it hurts. Yet it's the only thing he can do. He starts pacing around the room and crying, mumbling to himself, before breaking down on the ground, crying so much it starts physically hurting him, having to sniffle every millisecond.

He hears the door open and he immediately turns around, the little remaining bit of hope reviving as he sees that it's his bodyguard, Mijun. Maybe he's not bringing Chanyeol.

Mijun looks sympathetic as he crouches down next to Baekhyun. Baekhyun feels a little bit of comfort for a minute. His brother, not by blood, but he sure treats him like one.

But then it hits him.

Parents always have one child they favor over the other.

He squints his eyes. "Why? Why couldn't you be on my side for once?" He sniffles again and Mijun frowns.

"I wish I could've, Baek, but…" Then he smiles. "I had no choice. If he found out I hadn't told him everything… I'd be dead."

Baekhyun bawls his fists together. His father is the source of all things evil in this world. "Is this why he sent you here? To 'talk some sense into me'?"

"No, he didn't send me to talk to you. You know, if it was up to me, you could be as free as a bird, do whatever you want, love whoever you want. But that's not the case, nor will it be until the title is passed on to you. Then you can do whatever you want with us and this business."

Baekhyun has never thought of it that way. Anything he wanted… But he doesn't want that kind of life. He doesn't want to be a bad person. He doesn't want anyone but Chanyeol, and Chanyeol hates bad people. He shakes his head. "I don't want to live this life, Mijun, how hard is it to understand?"

Mijun nods as he gets up. "I know. Neither did I. But we don't have a choice, do we?"

A choice. Baekhyun hates that word. There never seems to be any choice anywhere.

...Chanyeol does have a choice. He has a choice to leave Baekhyun behind. But Baekhyun doesn't want him to, even if this life put him in danger. He wants to be selfish. Keep Chanyeol.

He should have taken Chanyeol home. And never contact him. Never talk to him.

"Sorry, Baek, but I really have to cuff you to this wall."

"Why?"

Mijun shrugs. "Orders."

Baekhyun understands orders. It's just that he hates following them, and he can't understand how others do it without a single complaint. Is there something wrong with these people? He lets Mijun do what he has to, handcuffs his hands above his head.

He's seen many people hanging on this wall, bad people getting punished, as his father likes to put it. He never thought he would be the one hanging here, knees scratched from the concrete floor. He never thought he would be the bad guy.

"What happens next?" He dares ask Mijun. 

He shrugs. "We wait."

Baekhyun doesn't feel too good about this.

***

Chanyeol is laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Everything is so messed up. They say everyone has problems, but does everyone have to deal with the Mafia? No.

Someone knocks on the door downstairs. Curiosity takes the best of him as he leaves his room to see who it is. His heart starts beating faster as his mind goes through the possibilities of who it could be. As mad as he is at Baekhyun, he wants to see him again, let him explain everything to him. Tell him it's not true.

He leans on the fence to the stairs and tries to sneak a peek at the door. His mother is talking to someone but not letting them in.

"What the hell are you doing here, Beomseok?" She asks with her voice dripping with despite. Chanyeol walks down the steps slowly, not to let the mother notice. He just needs to see who it is… Who is Beomseok?

"Not even a simple hello first, Youngmi?" He pushes past her, inviting himself inside. His eyes land on Chanyeol's and the latter looks down immediately. That's definitely Baekhyun's father. The one he met at the McDonald's. "Ah, great, Chanyeol exactly what I'm here for."

Youngmi comes in between the two, her whole demeanor screams anger, pure hatred towards the unknown man in the room. "We had a deal."

"Yes, Youngmi, we  _ had _ a deal. You stay out of our business and we leave your family alone. But would you look at that, your children have grown up to be too much like you."

The intense eye contact between the adults makes Chanyeol gulp. His mother has messed with the wrong people in the past, it seems.

"I'll have you know, my son is not to be blamed here. He doesn't know. It's your son that's the cause of all evil."

Chanyeol frowns upon his mother's words. As much as he's angry at Baekhyun, he still has this need to stand up for him.

"He doesn't know? Then I'll have to show him."

"The fuck you won't!" She bursts out yelling, taking a step towards the Mafia himself. Even Chanyeol is a bit taken aback. "Was it not enough to ruin our lives, now you want my son too?"

"You and your wretched mouth! Don't act all innocent here, it was you who kept my wife hidden from me, your daughter who followed your path. If you had just given her to me, none of this would've happened."

"Jiae lived a horrible life there, Beomseok. How could I have given her to you?"

Chanyeol stares at the floor. He does recall meeting a kind lady in the past. She spent a few nights sleeping at their house, and she was so paranoid all the time. He hasn't seen her in a few years. He still remembers her stunning smile as she laughed. Now that he thinks about it, her smile was exactly like Baekhyun's...

His family has been hiding the Mafia's wife.

No wonder Yura is addicted and his mother is so overprotective.

It was only a matter of time before they started using Chanyeol in their sick plans as well, right?

Baekhyun was perfect for this job.

"Okay, show me," Chanyeol finally says, making the adults raise their eyebrows as they turn to him. "Show me, tell me everything, make it make sense to me." He's tired of crying in his bed. He needs to know if this was a part of their plan. If his boyfriend was so good at faking everything, all the tears and the talks about how he has no way out, how he doesn't want to be like his father.

Either this was the only thing he hadn't told him, or everything has been a lie.

"Chanyeol you will not go with this man! You do not know how dangerous he is."

"You do know, that I'm not the only one who wants him, right, Youngmi? You'd be surprised how many gangs want to find him as well."

Her eyes fly open, so do Chanyeol's. "Why? Chanyeol?!"

"You might wanna ask Yura about that." He just smiles and starts walking towards the door, automatically thinking Chanyeol will follow him. "C'mon, let me take you home, my home."

The mother tries to stall Chanyeol, make him stay, keep him safe. But he's set on going. He will get to the bottom of this all. Even if that meant walking into the dragon's den. He looks at his mother with sorry eyes before leaving. He's really going to the Mafia's house. But there's only one thing that would make his heart race even faster.

He's going to see Baekhyun again. The real Baekhyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhh we are nearing the end,,, what will happen,, i am keeping you in suspense,,,


	21. uncuffed

Baekhyun looks down on the ground. The cuffs are chafing his wrists, his fingers feel tingly as the blood flow to his fingers weakens. He's sitting on his knees, his legs feel numb. Thoughts are splintering across the room, he can't get a hold of them.

Finally, the door opens. He looks at the door with his eyes as big as plates, watching as two people walk inside.

His father and…

He purses his lips together.

Chanyeol.

Chanyeol looks beautiful, as always, even if his hair is a complete mess and his smile has died long ago.

But he shouldn't be here. He shouldn't know about this place.

Baekhyun gets up to stand and almost twists his arm in the process, his legs barely carry him. Chanyeol stares at him under his brows, but his face is hard to read. Tears start to form in Baekhyun's eyes. He's looking at the love of his life but… Why does it feel like Chanyeol isn't even looking at him? Why has the look in his eyes changed?

"Well, well, well, look how the tables have turned. I seriously thought you would be the one on my wall, Chanyeol, but no, it's my son," Mr. Byun starts with big hand gestures and annoying smiles. "This stupid kid… Do you know how much I do for him? And what do I get back?" He stares at Baekhyun but the latter's gaze falls down on the ground. He can't bear to look at his father. The disappointment in his eyes… How was he so good at hiding that, even though he's known for so long?

"Let him go, dad," Baekhyun tries to plead but his voice breaks and it's like his words were carried on deaf ears.

"He's been lying to you, Chanyeol. He's not as sweet as he looks. Do you know how many have lost their lives because of him? You could've been one of those people. You don't know his intentions. _ Our _intentions."

Chanyeol's mouth hangs slightly open, just like it always does when he's thinking hard about something.

Baekhyun is trying to connect with him, pleading with his eyes, but it's like Chanyeol was staring right through him. He wants to yell at him, ask him if he's alright, talk to him, anything... But Chanyeol's feelings are behind a thick block of ice.

Nothing has hurt this much. The one he loves the most… Looking at him as if he dropped all of the stars he had hung… Chanyeol must be really disappointed.

But at least he is safe. For now.

"A dangerous man… Dangerous people like him need… Punishments. I'll let you do the honors, Chanyeol."

Chanyeol quickly turns to the man with his eyebrows furrowed. "W-what?!" No matter how annoyed he was at Baekhyun, how heartbroken he must be, he still can't seem to be as ruthless as Mr. Byun wants him to be.

"If you won't do it, I'll hang you on my other wall." That demanding yet calm voice of the boss himself. Not many would oppose it.

Chanyeol bites his lower lip and turns to Baekhyun, and for a while he feels as if the ice is actually melting. Chanyeol's eyes hold something special for a minute, before he looks away again, his head sinking into his shoulders.

Oh, how he misses that adoring look. That excited glimmer in his eyes...

Baekhyun thinks he knows what Chanyeol is about to do. He looks around and tries to think of something to say, something to make his boyfriend come into his senses. He cannot seriously be thinking about sacrificing himself just because he can't punish him? "I can take it, hit me, shoot me." But Chanyeol keeps his head down.

"No. I can't."

Mr. Byun raises the other corner of his lips. "Funny. He's been playing you, Chanyeol. He doesn't care about you. Yet you can't even take revenge on him?"

"That's not true! I love you, Chanyeol, I didn't lie about anything other than my family," Baekhyun is desperately shouting towards the two, who are just out of his reach.

"Lying again! I wish I could be proud of him, but he's jeopardized our whole business."

"Lying or not, I won't hurt him."

Baekhyun tries to take a step closer to him, but his shoulder will get dislocated if he tries to walk any closer. "Why? Chanyeol, save yourself. I'm already doomed." _ I have no way out. _

The way his father has always portrayed love has been obsessive. Controlling. And for the longest time, Baekhyun really thought his selfish plans could work out. How it's okay to love Chanyeol. It's okay even if he's not so careful. He really thought he could drag Chanyeol into this.

But as he's looking at his boyfriend getting handcuffed to the chains on the other wall opposite to him, seeing how scared and sad he looks. Like a puppy, the cute puppy that died in his father's arms. He doesn't belong here. He should be home. This place is meant for bad people, the bad people who take revenge on the innocent ones. Like Baekhyun. A bad person, that's what he is.

As Mr. Byun is done tying him on the wall, he glances at both of them before excusing himself. "I'll go get something. You wait here."

"Where would I go?" Baekhyun smiles desperately. Everything is a mess. The father smirks as a response before vanishing outside.

The minute the door closes, Chanyeol finally turns to him and just stares at him in the eyes. His eyes are hard to read. "Baek, I… I have so many questions I wanna ask but I can't… I don't know if I can trust your word on it."

"You can trust me! You can-"

"Can I?"

Baekhyun starts breathing heavily, seeing as Chanyeol leans on the wall, how his smile turns upside down and he's visibly fighting back tears.

"Who else would you trust?"

Chanyeol looks down and chuckles painfully, tears dripping on the ground. "Just tell me one thing. Tell me your feelings were genuine. Tell me you really meant what you said every time you told me you love me."

"Of course I was honest. You knew it then, you know it now. I do love you. Have loved you since that drive-in movie…" Baekhyun takes in a deep breath, but it cuts in half. "And I'm sorry, so unbelievably sorry..." Those words Chanyeol said about him being a hero… But he didn't know what he was up against.

It doesn't take another second before Mr. Byun comes back. He has a smile on his face, and a gun on his hands. Baekhyun starts trembling as he sees his father walk closer to his boyfriend. Everything evil could be summed up as Byun Beomseok, his father. But Chanyeol is surprisingly calm all of a sudden. Maybe he's so paralyzed he can't even fear anymore.

"Don't even think about it, Dad." It's like he wasn't even there.

"I really wouldn't want this to go this way," the father says with a smile so wide on his face you couldn't believe a single word he said. "But I am sick and tired of your family ruining my life. You know too much, you're a safety hazard. You and your mother and sister… You're all in my way! You're all responsible for what happened to my wife..."

"He's done nothing, Dad! Let him go! I'll never forgive you if you don't!"

Chanyeol looks at the man in the eyes. "Okay. Shoot me."

Mr. Byun raises his eyebrows at the reaction he wasn't prepared for. "Excuse me?"

"I said, shoot me."

Baekhyun can't say anything as he's trying to grasp onto his boyfriends words, understand what he could possibly mean and what the hell is going on in his mind, why would he say that?

"Huh… Why are you so calm?"

"I don't know. Maybe part of me believes you can't do it, because Baekhyun won't let you. Maybe that part of me believes you're not as heartless as you seem. Maybe I just don't fear death," Chanyeol says with a light shrug.

Mr. Byun starts walking in a circle, slowly, obviously thinking about something, a plan. "You know, Chanyeol. We could really use someone like you in our team, you could come in handy… Just look at this mess right here, he's never calm." He points to Baekhyun who keeps biting his lips and shaking and tossing around, pulling his hair. Usually he is the one calm, but never around his father, not right now. With Chanyeol he is calm. It's the exact opposite for Chanyeol, it seems. He's usually the one all nervous about things.

"You're one fucked up man, Mr. Byun. I've heard so many things about you. And I can't but think... Why? Have you frozen your heart over the years, is there still a bit of humanity in your heart left? Or were you born this way?"

"You're trying to analyze me? Bold of you, small human."

Baekhyun is fuming by now. The way his father is planning out either taking advantage of Chanyeol for the rest of his life or his murder, who knows. All he knows is that he needs to put a stop to this.

"Dad, that's enough! No matter what you do to Chanyeol, it won't make mom come back. She doesn't love you anymore, you're the only one responsible for why she left." Finally, his father pays attention to him. "I don't care what Chanyeol or his family have done, how does any of it connect to us, but let him go. Let his family go."

"Why? Why would I do that?"

Baekhyun looks down in thought. There is only one thing his father wants, more than anything. Only one deal he would accept."If… If you do… If you leave them be and keep them safe, I'll start taking our business seriously. I'll start doing as you say, follow the rules, be calm and cold-hearted."

The father starts shaking his head with a wide smile. "Is this how far I needed to go for you to come into your senses? That this is your life, this is who you are?"

"I don't care anymore, Dad… Just keep his family safe and I'll do whatever you've ever wanted me to."

"Wait, Baek, you can't-," Chanyeol tries to interrupt but the father is already untying the cuffs, he's already freeing Baekhyun from the chains. He must sacrifice his freedom in order to keep the people he loves safe.

"But I did. I have to. If you fail to keep your promise, Dad, know that I won't hesitate to kill only you, but your wife as well."

"If you fail to keep your promise, Baekhyun, he's the first one to go." They hold intense eye contact for a while before Baekhyun turns to his boyfriend, who now looks more lost than ever. He tries not to think about what would happen if he would just give in, be the way they were, hug Chanyeol, not become his father like his destiny foretold him. He can't. He lets the tears slide now as he's releasing Chanyeol from this prison. 

"Can I at least escort him?" He pleads from his father and tries his best to not look pathetic. His father flails his arm as a sign that he doesn't really care.

Baekhyun turns back to Chanyeol and looking at him in the eyes hurts, it hurts so much. Because Chanyeol looks confused, lost, he doesn't understand a thing that's going on.

"C'mon, I'll take you home."

Chanyeol follows him up the stairs, follows him like he is used to. Only this time they're not holding hands, and the atmosphere is thick. Baekhyun glances at Mijun and the other servants on the second floor, their sorry faces, but he has nothing to say, he only keeps walking. The less he thinks or says, the less it hurts. The less he thinks about the destination, the better his legs seem to carry. Even if his wrists hurt, he opens a door after a door, finally outside.

Once they're sitting in Baekhyun's car, just like they did less than two weeks ago, just like they have for God knows how many times in the past 7 months.

It's silent. Baekhyun wants to say something, anything, but there's nothing to say that wouldn't break his heart even more.

"I believe you, Baek."

"What?"

"I trust you. All you said before… I don't think you were lying. Even if you didn't tell me everything."

"I only kept you in the dark because I was selfish. You made me forget about my life as… As the son of the mafia…"

"Then why did you agree to this?"

Baekhyun starts the car and tries his best to keep in the tears, but his lower lip starts quivering. "There's no one in this world that knows me better than you do. But…" He starts driving away to avoid looking at his boyfriend. "I don't want to be like my father. He can't let Mom go and he calls it love. But this way I know you'll be safe. Chanyeol, I love you, so fucking much," he finally breaks into sobs, but he tries not to let it affect his driving, "and that's why I know to let you go. You're not safe with me. I'm a Byun, Chanyeol, Byun. Innocent people like you should have nothing to do with criminals like me."

He finally hears sniffles coming from Chanyeol's side. He tries to block them out but he can't. Maybe he is a hero after all, or maybe he's the worst villain ever.

They reach Chanyeol's house and Baekhyun parks his car on the side of the road. He blocks out the resurfacing memories and the feelings of fondness he gets every time he looks at this house. He pushes them away.

"So is… Is this the end?"

Baekhyun closes his eyes. An inevitable ending. He nods. "Now… Please just go." He can't even look at Chanyeol, he only keeps his eyes on the road ahead. What choice does he have? He wants Chanyeol to be safe, he wants Chanyeol to have a future. He can't possibly tie himself down to the mafia business when he's not even 18 yet, he would waste his whole life, chained down to something he'll end up regretting in the end. And Baekhyun doesn't want him to go through the same thing his mother did.

"But…"

"I said go!" With that Chanyeol leaves the car. "And I think you should keep a low profile for a few days… There are some people that I need to take care of." He tightens his grip on the steering wheel.

"Even though you're a Byun… You're still my hero. And I still love you."

Baekhyun looks up to see Chanyeol's beautiful eyes, and then he closes the door behind him.

He's walking away, turning around, and he's not coming back.

He won't. And that's for the best. After all, Chanyeol deserves better.

Baekhyun hits his head on the steering wheel and cries so loud he didn't think it was humanly possible. He will finally have to accept that this is his place, this is who he was born to be, and there's no place for love here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry the delay, really this is a whole mess it's,,, i don't know  
STAY SAFE Y'ALL, hope you have a splendid time quarantined ;)  
We're almost at the end :0
> 
> (happy birthday to Minseok uwu)


	22. no more reassurance

Baekhyun stares at the ceiling with his arms crossed over his chest. His body is completely relaxed, he couldn't move a muscle even if he tried. His facial muscles especially, even blinking feels too bothersome. He would close his eyes completely if he could stop himself from seeing  _ his _ face every time he closed them for a millisecond.

It has been seven long days, and each day only feels worse than the one before. At first, he was uneasy, restless, he kept crying and yelling. But by day 4 he had cried all the tears left in him and he's trying his hardest to accept this as a reality, so much that it makes his body feel excruciatingly heavy, especially his legs, and it's like someone froze his face, he can't move a single muscle.

Lifting an arm feels too hard just thinking about it. And what's the point, anyway?

His training began the minute he came back home. Sure his father cut him some slack for not exceeding in his job the way he was supposed to. Punching things made him feel momentarily better and seeing the people after Chanyeol right in his hands felt empowering, the way they were shaking right before him. He could not have given a crap about their pleads. About their cries. Maybe in the past, he didn't think he could have done anything like this, but for Chanyeol, he's willing to do anything.

Even if Chanyeol is no longer with him, at least no one is after him anymore. Thanks to his incredible staff who know just about everyone and everything in this city. Finding a couple of gang leaders was not a hard task.

And that feeling of powerfulness did make him feel better, but that was the only thing connecting him to Chanyeol. Now he has no meaning anymore. If there is no Chanyeol in his life, then there is nothing in his life. Chanyeol  _ is _ his life.

The way he kept talking about random facts all of a sudden, even when no one asked. The way his eyes sparkled as he did, his beautiful big eyes behind those round frames. The thought of him just smiling happily at his jokes or at literally anything, especially the time at the movies, the drive-in, the carnival, the apple-farm, his home… Whenever they were together it felt like everything in this world was right. Nothing could ever stop or hurt them.

But the world turned out to be exactly the mess he grew up to think it was. But for that half a year, Chanyeol made a crack on his concrete wall, letting the Sun in. But his father had to seal that crack.

Baekhyun has to shut his eyes as if it would make it any easier to bear. The flooding of emotions. Memories. Even those painful memories, when he finally told him about his deepest darkest secrets. Remembering those days hurt even more. Because Chanyeol was and will always be the only one who has ever understood him.

After hours laying on his bed doing absolutely nothing, he finally gets up for dinner. He's not really hungry, but his father insisted and he promised to do exactly as he wished.

But he manages to drag himself across the kitchen to a dining area and sit down on the chair opposite his father. He doesn't look up at his father, he knows what's on his mind anyway. That blank face he makes whenever he sees him. It's like he understood what he was going through, but at the same time, he doesn't. How could he?

Baekhyun stares at the steak on his plate and sticks his fork in it, but nothing else happens. The thought of chewing on it makes him feel disgusted. He doesn't have the strength to chew.

This setting feels too familiar. Everything feels… Normal. In a way that this is exactly what his life used to be, only now he knows what it's like to be in love… But he also knows what it's like to be heartbroken.

And he will probably refrain from going to a McDonald's, ever again.

"Are you… Mad at me, Baekhyun?" His father finally asks. Oh, his insensitive father who cannot read emotions unless it is fear.

Back then he had the energy to talk back, now he only mumbles out a simple "No."

Mijun is standing quite near the father, keeping his eyes on Baekhyun with a sympathetic look. No, nothing is normal. Everyone keeps looking at him like he was below them as if being heartbroken made him inferior. That's probably not something they are actually thinking about, but Baekhyun can't but feel that way. They try to be sympathetic, but can't things just be the way they were?

He wishes things were normal. That he was normal. Not messed up in some mafia business… He would much rather be in control of his own life than be powerful… But some of us are dealt bad cards from the start.

"We are not bad people, Baekhyun. I am not the devil. It all depends on your definition of regular people. Some of us are born into our careers and have no option to be something else, but does that make us monsters?"

Baekhyun would roll his eyes if he could be bothered anymore. His father keeps lecturing or reminding him of these things as if that would make him feel better… It doesn't.

Baekhyun learned everything about his father's history with the Park family last week. How he met Chanyeol's mother back when they still lived in South Korea, how she was aware of their business but she got to live since Baekhyun's mother liked her. And then they moved across the ocean, far away. Too bad his mother decided to follow her in an attempt to escape this life, she couldn't handle it anymore. Even though it happened ten years after the Parks had moved. That was the main reason Baekhyun and his father moved here, too.

They were really good at hiding her, his father really couldn't find her. Eventually, they found traces of her and found out that Yura was keeping her safe from the world. So, it was only the best option to use someone to get Yura addicted to drugs, that way she became sloppier and easy to ambush.

And Chanyeol. Too bad his sister went on selling him off to gang leaders as she was so in debt…

But other than that he was safe. Why? Because he was with Baekhyun. They couldn't lay a finger on him since that would have made Baekhyun turn against his father. This way they all get what they want. Except that the two can't be together.

While his father only caused pain and suffering to that family, Baekhyun was the one who kept them safe. Who kept Chanyeol safe, and who will continue to keep them safe. But from afar.

That way he can keep his promise… His promise to always be Chanyeol's hero.

"How long will it take for you will talk to me again?" The father asks, almost impatient.

"I have nothing to say," he says as he leaves his seat, his food nearly untouched. He just wants to be alone.

Well, more than anything, he wants Chanyeol back. He wonders what he's up to, if he's happy, if he's over him. Or if he's missing him as well, crying himself to sleep every night like Baekhyun is…

Spending a week apart is nothing new for them, no, they only ever met once a week… But then they talked at school, and more than anything… They talked online. They texted, they got to know each other through their little devices…

Baekhyun picks up his phone as he lays on his bed again. He goes through their old messages, even if he knows it's going to hurt. He can't scroll into the beginning since they always talked for hours on end, revealing all kinds of things about one another. God bless the sweet bliss of technology.

They exchanged the most messages in the summer since that's when they saw each other the least. He reads through the texts Chanyeol sent and he starts smiling. It always took Chanyeol like a nanosecond to reply, and he always had at least one typo in his texts. At least as soon as they got more comfortable. At first, he didn't want to seem too clingy or anything, so he didn't smash the keyboard when they talked. The more open he got, the better their conversations turned. 

Sometimes they talked about movies, sometimes about Fall Out Boy, sometimes about school. Other times they talked about other people, family mostly, and they also explored the deeper waters, the meaning of life, childhood traumas…

Baekhyun's favorite conversations were the ones that turned a bit flirty. Chanyeol is an angel, sure, but he knows that there is a different side to Chanyeol as well. The side of Chanyeol that wants Baekhyun to tie him on his bed. Baekhyun only suggested it once, in a joking manner, but the way Chanyeol responded was left haunting in his mind…

_ "Do you want to?" _

It took him five minutes to type that, that's how he knows Chanyeol was seriously thinking about it.

And maybe Baekhyun does want that.

But he can't. Maybe someone else will in the future. Someone else will have Chanyeol all to himself. Someone else gets to kiss him, hold him, talk to him. Someone else gets to hear Chanyeol's wise words, someone else gets to be Chanyeol's hero, someone else gets to feel loved by Chanyeol.

He can't read any more texts as his vision has become too blurry from the tears. He can barely manage thinking about losing Chanyeol for the rest of his life, but now someone else gets to have him?

He didn't think about that before. 

Of course he wants him to be happy, but why does he have to be happy without Baekhyun in his life?

He knows the reasons, it's just unfair.

He locks his screen and buries his face in a pillow. Even if Chanyeol can move on to somebody else,  _ he _ can't. He sniffles into his already snotty pillow. 

The door creaks open, but he has no reaction to it. All he can think about is Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol. No time for anyone like his father or Mijun.

"Your room is pretty cute. Especially those fairy lights…"

Baekhyun furrows his brows into the pillow. Great. Now he's even hearing his voice.

He feels the mattress behind his back sink down at someone's weight, someone laying down next to him. He must be losing it, he's already thinking that that strawberry scent belongs to no other than Chanyeol. But it can't be Chanyeol. He can't be here.

"I'm really sorry, Baek. It hurts me to know you won't ever be able to be free, that for me you are willing to ditch your freedom." That deep voice can not be anyone else's, and those words can not belong to anyone else. That's it. He's fallen asleep. This is a dream. 

He turns around slowly, and of course, there he is. Chanyeol. He's not wearing glasses, and as soon as their eyes meet, he starts smiling. Baekhyun smiles too. What a nice dream.

"It hurts, and I'm thankful. But I can't leave you. You might have taken me home, but not for the last time. You will take me home. Many times. And I don't care that you are soon to be the mafia. At first, I was shocked and didn't want to believe it. But I've spent a good week thinking about this. And I don't care that you're in this business. I still love you. And that will never change."

Baekhyun smiles hazily. "If this was real, I'd ask you what the hell are you thinking, Park Chanyeol? But this isn't. So what should I wish for now?"

Chanyeol furrows his brows. "I'm not following, Baek. This is real."

"No, it isn't. In real life, Chanyeol wouldn't be here and say everything I ever wanted to hear. What a weird thing it is, imagination… Should I break off that too or am I allowed to dream?"

Chanyeol reaches out for Baekhyun's hand on the bed, and it feels too real for it to be a dream. His soft hand… Either he's completely lost it or Chanyeol is really here. "Snap out of it. I am here. This isn't your imagination. I really can't be without you, Baek."

Baekhyun gets up to sit and he frowns. "Then what the hell are you doing here?!" He can't look at Chanyeol. He would much rather have this a dream. "Are you fucking crazy, Yeol? You're seriously telling me you're voluntarily going to stay by my side? Be imprisoned next to me? You say that now but what about when it becomes all too much and you want to leave but it's too late? You have to run while you still can." He hasn't spoken that much in days.

He feels Chanyeol sit up too, trying to get close to him. "I'm really sorry, but I can't lose you. And if that means I'm crazy, okay. But I love you so much, I don't wanna live without you. I won't regret my decisions, I won't ever leave your side."

Baekhyun starts breathing heavily. He wants to believe Chanyeol, he wants to trust him. But he can't let him do that. He can't let Chanyeol waste his whole life because of him. "...Does it not bother you that you'll have to lie to everyone for the rest of your life? That you can't get other close friends other than me? That you can't leave once you make this commitment?" He turns around to Chanyeol, and he's smiling. That smile he missed so much...

Chanyeol shakes his head and places his palm on Baekhyun's face. The older one doesn't even try not to lean into the touch. "Baekhyun. I've been thinking about this for a week, and I already spoke with your father. He is one fucked up man, I'm sorry you had to grow up in an environment like this… But our future won't be much different from anyone else's. Who cares if I have to lie? I can still be honest with you! I don't want other friends if it means I have to leave you. I don't want to leave."

Baekhyun shuts his eyes as a smile spreads on his face. "Park Chanyeol you are fucking insane. You're wasting your whole fucking life just to be with me. Are you listening to yourself?"

"You already gave up your future for my family's safety, how am I any more insane than you?"

The smaller one stays quiet, just keeps staring at him. It feels surreal. As if the bad days were only a nightmare or this is nothing but a dream. Baekhyun is conflicted. "What if I go crazy? Can you handle that?"

"You're not going crazy. You won't. You don't have to do everything just like your father, right?"

Baekhyun looks down as his smile fades a little. "I don't know. Still… I don't know why you would stay by my side through this…"

"Because you're still the same person I fell in love with," Chanyeol frowns and caresses Baekhyun's cheek with his palm. "And once this becomes your own empire, you can do things exactly as you wish! I know it sounds awful now, but… Think about it. You are more powerful than anyone in this neighborhood, you're smart, always one step ahead of everyone. It does have its perks, just saying." He smiles at him. "And it's honestly kinda like really hot on you."

Hot? Just now Chanyeol was crying because he thought Baekhyun was only using him. He really must have done a lot of thinking. That Chanyeol seemed… Off. Now he's back as himself, better than ever. It almost makes Baekhyun want to agree. Almost.

"I… I don't want this for you."

"But I do! If there's anyone I feel at ease with it's you! I feel much safer with you!"

"But it's too much to ask from you, you're only 17."

"I'm 18 in two weeks, and you know how much I hate it when people tell me what to do, so you better shut it. I made promises and I plan on keeping them."

Baekhyun chuckles. "You're so stubborn. I'd want nothing more than to keep things the way they were…" Chanyeol seems to lighten up as he lets out a breath he was holding. "But I shouldn't let you."

"Yeah, you can let me. You just have to tell me all that is going on inside your mind, otherwise, this will happen again."

Baekhyun smiles at him again. "Did I already tell you I'm so sorry?"

"Just promise me you won't hide things from me again."

"You're so weird, Yeol. I fucking love you." He glances at those plump lips he's been thinking about for the past week. This seems like a dream. "I promise. What more is there about me that you would not know?" He sighs and cups his face. 

Chanyeol smiles so wide. "As long as I have you, I won't regret a day in my life."

Baekhyun smiles and cups his face as well, leaning down to place a kiss on his lips. A gentle kiss to seal all the promises, to fix the momentary chaos that arrived upon their relationship. To remind that, in fact, the promises were not broken, maybe just tested for a few days.

"Wait, so you… Talked to my father?" All of his bad feelings went away with a single kiss from Chanyeol. He really can't live without Chanyeol. And maybe he is selfish for not forcefully taking Chanyeol away, but he doesn't want to. If he will regret this later then they will sort it out somehow. For now, he just can't let go.

"Yeah, and he's fine with us being together. He said that as long as I'm not in the way of your training or if I make you 'weak' again… Then I'm in danger but apparently he's more thrilled than anything. Because I think… I think he likes me." Chanyeol looks just as puzzled as Baekhyun feels.

"This is exactly what I was afraid of. I don't want him to use you-"

"He won't! He said that if it's really my choice, then he won't interfere. He already got what he wanted."

Baekhyun won't trust his father, but he's not going to let him rule his life anymore. He can love Chanyeol if he wants. As long as he remembers his duties.

He smiles and lays back down on the bed. The joy he's feeling is almost overwhelming. He knows he'll get through anything with Chanyeol by his side.

***

Baekhyun flutters his eyes open and adjusts to the artificial lights hanging from his ceiling. It's the fairy lights he put in his room a few weeks ago because Chanyeol kept spazzing about how great and pretty they are. Which they are, they light up his room in soft, yellow lights. His eyes feel tired as he looks around. He has no idea what time it is but it is dark.

He tries to get up but notices the ball of fluff on his chest, the weight wrapped around his waist. Baekhyun's eyes widen. He's in his room, and Chanyeol's laying on top of him, his chest rising and falling calmly. Chanyeol always looks so calm when he's sleeping, like no one could hurt him or ruin his innocence.

No one but him. And he likes that feeling. Chanyeol is safe there, in his arms, in his house.

It's only been a few hours since Chanyeol came by their door and told Baekhyun he's ready to waste his life for him. He should feel bad and guilty about it, he should really force Chanyeol out of their house but he doesn't. He's the happiest he's been in a while, because now instead of two completely separate lives he's leading, he's living his own life where everything slowly falls into place, everything just works.

He can't stop grinning as he pets Chanyeol's hair and stares at his black hair. He's really there and he has no secrets to keep from him. Chanyeol knows he's a monster but he's okay with it. Because he loves him just the way he is. He doesn't need him to remind him of it anymore, he's sure of it. No more reassurance.

It doesn't take long before Chanyeol raises his head to look at Baekhyun under his brows and the smile creeps up his face now too. He doesn't say anything, just snuggles back on Baekhyun's side and sighs in content. This is where he belongs.

"You know, I've been thinking," Chanyeol begins and sits up to be on the same level as Baekhyun. He already complimented the fairy lights he put up in his room, so Baekhyun has no idea what he's going to say. "How… The past six months you've given me all these hints but I never picked up on them. I even asked you if you're the mafia once, and you obviously lied as you said you're not. Makes me wonder how dumb you must think I am."

"Please, I almost peed my pants, I was so scared I'd blow my cover. Maybe you just never actually considered it to be an option. I mean, it's not every guy you bump into who turn out to be dangerous criminals."

"Yeah, but I don't care what you are. I stand by my words, you're more of a hero to me than anyone else."

Baekhyun leans closer to his boyfriend and rests his forehead on his. His eyes are closed but he feels the love and warmth radiating from Chanyeol. "I love you, have I ever told you that?"

"Yeah, like a hundred times today. But I love you too."

"My words and actions are only a fraction of how much I adore you," he leans further away from him and stares at him. His face glows under the dim yellow lights, just like the night they were at the movies, just like the night they were at the carnival. He stands by his words, this type of lighting looks the best on him, no one else ever looks this good, only Chanyeol.

Chanyeol receives a message on his phone, cutting his trace of thoughts. He hands the phone to Baekhyun. "Can you please read it? I can't see shit without my glasses right now."

Baekhyun takes the phone in his hands and reads the messages, not out loud at first. He bites his lower lip before reading them to Chanyeol. "It's Yura, she's sent like a dozen messages to you."

"Oh," Chanyeol starts and looks away. "Figures. I'm still mad at her. What did she say?"

"That she's going to come after you if you don't answer this message in five minutes."

Chanyeol's eyes fly open. "Ah, fuck that. Can you please tell her that I'm fine and that I'll be home… I dunno, soon." Baekhyun does as he is told.

"I mean, it's kinda cute she worries about you."

"It's not cute, she thinks you're a monster. And I'm mad at her."

"Well… That's not. But… Will you be alright? I heard what… What she's gone through…"

"Yeah… It's not easy. But we'll get through it, I think. It's gonna take some time."

"I know your sister already hates me but… What are we gonna do about your parents? Are they okay with this?"

"Oh… Mom's known since the beginning. But dad… I… It's best we don't tell him about your business… Not yet at least..."

"I've lied to authorities my whole life, so it can't be that hard. At least I don't have to lie to you anymore," Baekhyun says with a smile as he puts down the phone. Sure everything is a bit shaky in their lives, but he's positive they're going to make it and everything will be fine. For once. "But that also means you have to keep your mouth shut, too."

"I've done that my whole life."

Maybe this is a dream. Maybe it was a dream all along. Because having Chanyeol by his side, from the start until the end… That's too surreal. But if it's a dream, Baekhyun will never wake up.

Baekhyun pulls Chanyeol close and plants his face with kisses as the younger one giggles at the sudden affection. Chanyeol is never going to leave his side, not permanently, anyway. He can't. "I'll take you home, so your sister won't rip my head off. But before I do that, please tell me some weird facts about something no one asked for." He leans on the end of his bed and holds Chanyeol in his arms, looking at him smiling. Chanyeol starts explaining how the average person will spend a total of 153 days searching for misplaced items and how he's the reason that number will go up to 200 someday. Baekhyun chuckles as he listens to him speak so enthusiastically about something so irrelevant. 

He has never felt more free being chained down to someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAA THANK YOU FOR MAKING IT TILL THE END ;;; I'm not really satisfied with this ending, but it's best I can offer :( sorry. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed >< 
> 
> Writing this has really been my way of processing last Fall’s events. I’ve been having some real problems with my identity and searching for myself and when it felt like the whole world was against me. This fic really helped me see things in a different light and get a new angle to things. It also helped a lot with my major trust issues... That's why I'm really grateful for this fic. If it did the same for you, I’m glad. If it didn’t, I’m also glad you were still able to enjoy this. I’m really thankful to anyone who read, commented, gave kudos. It really means the world to me to know you guys liked my story! Not a day goes by without me feeling energized by your comments >< 💖
> 
> I loved writing this, I really did. Ending this felt like a small part of me died. It's not perfect, I have the worst memory so I hope I ended everything the way I should have. Take You Home's Chanyeol and Baekhyun will forever live in my heart. But seriously, thank you so so so so so much for reading this and enjoying and supporting me ♥ Your support has been everything to me ;_;
> 
> take care of yourselves ♥
> 
> I'll most likely publish another fanfic really soon, I have lots planned ;) so if you're interested, subscribe to me?? Hhejrjfkfk thank you anyways >3< Hope to see you in the future ♥


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